[Saru Saya]

✚ Sunamaru

NAME: Hada no Hamono Umō [Razorfeather Cloak]
RANK: C
CHAKRA USAGE: Low (Sustained)
CLASSIFICATION: Ninjutsu
ELEMENT: Futon
HANDSEALS: N/A
DESCRIPTION:

Sunamaru charges his feathers full of futon, strengthening them and forcing them to become more rigid. Chakra streams from him as the futon compresses around the edges of his wings, drawing their edges out to terrifyingly sharp blades. While this jutsu is active the roadrunner gains a distinct blue haze almost akin to a thin steam covering and emanating from him in any place he has feathers, including the large crest on his head.  Likewise this jutsu creates an easily noticeable shimmering plane of air lining the trailing edge of his wing feathers, giving them a rather sharp appearance.   Essentially they are swords..

✚ Sunamaru

NAME: Hageshī Sunaarashii [Fierce Sandstorm]
RANK: B
CHAKRA USAGE: Low (Sustained)
CLASSIFICATION: Ninjutsu
ELEMENT: Futon
HANDSEALS: N/A
DESCRIPTION:

By coating his body in Futon chakra and concentrating on his movements, Sunamaru can use this jutsu to alter his effective areodynamics at will.  This lets him either become less areodynamic and greatly increase his drag, or become perfectly streamlined in the wind no matter his shape.  Doing so lets him move without taking into consideration the effect of natural winds and air density.

This does not let him ignore wind based jutsu, however.

✚ Sunamaru

NAME: Oni no Sokudo [Speed Demon]
RANK: C
CHAKRA USAGE: Low [Sustained]
CLASSIFICATION: Taijutsu
ELEMENT: Futon
HANDSEALS: N/A
DESCRIPTION:

Sunamaru releases a steady but slow stream of chakra from the feathers on his crest, on his shoulders, tail, and his wrists (The middle part of the wing you might mistake for an elbow). As he runs, this chakra builds up quickly in front of him, forming into a pressurized cone of wind chakra. While not immediately offensive, this jutsu turns Sunamaru’s normal blistering speed into the stuff of legend. Cutting an effortless path forward, while at the same time drawing him in and pushing him onward, this jutsu maximizes his ability to run faster and faster. While turning could be difficult for most monsters moving at such breakneck speeds, Sunamaru’s broad tail helps him catch the wind when needed, and turn on a dime, much to Saya's terror.

He becomes an absolute blur when he uses this jutsu, tearing across across miles of open landscape in a matter of minutes. Picking out details of the bird and rider as they pass by is difficult, for they may only be close enough for a moment before they pass by with a great gust of wind in their passing. He rarely loses any momentum while tearing up the countryside, and this jutsu does indeed do some noticeable damage to his path. He leaves a path in his wake that’s about 2 meters wide and festooned with dirt, debris, and very large footprints, the wind following him often enough to knock over anything light that’s not secured down. Saya can do nothing more than hold on during these times, and only by spending a little chakra for the tree climbing jutsu to keep her grip secure.

While not specifically designed for the purpose, the ramming potential of this jutsu can not be discounted. While generally bad for Sunamaru as well, should the bird impact someone or something of significant toughness, such as a stone wall or jounin shinobi, he strikes with all the force of a boulder moving much faster than an arrow or simple catapult throw. This jutsu does not protect Sunamaru from the consequences of ramming his rather light bird body into something hard, and is really just for running insanely fast.  While this jutsu may be used with or without Saya riding on his back, it can not be used with more than 1 passenger.

[Aika]

Hada no Hamono Umō [Razorfeather Cloak]

Firstly this would be classed as a ninjutsu, not taijutsu. There is no fighting element to this, rather it is used to enhance his fighting capability.

Make this a medium cost.

The fuuton aspects I can agree would make the feathers more rigid but it doesn't envelop them in steel. If you froze a feather it would be sharper, but it won't be suddenly super durable and as such it won't make it any harder to do damage or blunt falling. A feather is still a feather. For the effect you want for durability it would need to have some kind of doton in it. Take this part out. How long can he use this?

Remove the mention of B rank raiton, we don't use rank for rank comparison anymore since jutsu do different kinds of things that might not inherently mean they are B rank worthy, simply saying it has an edge to cut through similar powered raiton is enough.

Hageshī Sunaarashii [Fierce Sandstorm]
I feel like you're getting confused between taijutsu and ninjutsu. While supplementary taijutsu exist most of what this technique does is ninjutsu. Taijutsu, by and large, is a technique like a punch or kick that affects the opponent. This technique enhances taijutsu but I would argue that it falls into the ninjutsu category since you are literally trying to suggest fuuton chakra makes him more evasive.

On that point I don't entirely understand how this jutsu helps him be more evasive? What does the fuuton do? You didn't explain it very well.

Oni no Sokudo [Speed Demon]
I am also going to deny this jutsu outright. It's faster than the Body Flicker technique for a lower cost and rank, which I believe Sunamaru already has. There's no reasonable reason for anyone to have this kind of technique that allows one to travel so fast you can cover a miles in a few seconds.

[Saru Saya]

Hada no Hamono Umō [Razorfeather Cloak]

Firstly this would be classed as a ninjutsu, not taijutsu. There is no fighting element to this, rather it is used to enhance his fighting capability.

Make this a medium cost.

The fuuton aspects I can agree would make the feathers more rigid but it doesn't envelop them in steel. If you froze a feather it would be sharper, but it won't be suddenly super durable and as such it won't make it any harder to do damage or blunt falling. A feather is still a feather. For the effect you want for durability it would need to have some kind of doton in it. Take this part out. How long can he use this?

Remove the mention of B rank raiton, we don't use rank for rank comparison anymore since jutsu do different kinds of things that might not inherently mean they are B rank worthy, simply saying it has an edge to cut through similar powered raiton is enough.

Switched to Ninjutsu.  Also lowered it's rank as now it doesn't do nearly as much.

I'd honestly rather not adjust the chakra cost of this jutsu, and am unsure why it would need to be so very expensive. Like the Four Legs Jutsu of the Inuzuka clan, and like many other jutsu, this ninjutsu makes you better at taijutsu. They are commonly low cost jutsu with a constant drain that can be used as long as the character has chakra left to spend on them. I'm not sure why this jutsu would need to cost more and do less than a clan based hijutsu. Being hijutsu doesn't mean it costs less, it just means it's a secret jutsu the family doesn't want other people to learn. I don't want to increase the chakra cost on it.

I'll take the defensive stuff out of the jutsu, though I again don't understand why I would need to. People coat themselves in chakra all the time to stop attacks, even in non-elemental chakra. It's whatever, though, I mostly want this jutsu to give my bird some attacks beyond biting and stomping. He'll just have to stick to his roadrunner defenses and evade instead.

Hageshī Sunaarashii [Fierce Sandstorm]
I feel like you're getting confused between taijutsu and ninjutsu. While supplementary taijutsu exist most of what this technique does is ninjutsu. Taijutsu, by and large, is a technique like a punch or kick that affects the opponent. This technique enhances taijutsu but I would argue that it falls into the ninjutsu category since you are literally trying to suggest fuuton chakra makes him more evasive.

On that point I don't entirely understand how this jutsu helps him be more evasive? What does the fuuton do? You didn't explain it very well.

Rewrote the jutsu in the simplest of terms. Hope it's easier for you to understand now.

Oni no Sokudo [Speed Demon]
I am also going to deny this jutsu outright. It's faster than the Body Flicker technique for a lower cost and rank, which I believe Sunamaru already has. There's no reasonable reason for anyone to have this kind of technique that allows one to travel so fast you can cover a miles in a few seconds.

Cool, well I'm going to defend it outright as well. This jutsu in no way goes faster than Shunshin. You may notice when you read the Body Flicker jutsu that it has no listed maximum range, giving you the potential to, quite literaly, cover many miles in an instant. I have to admit, I was just using hyperbole in the jutsu, but trying to actual quantify a speed on Fallen Blades is pretty difficult. How fast can a shinobi run? No one has an answer to that question. Do they run at 20pmh? 20mph is pretty impressive for a human. Do they run at 60mph and soar through the trees due to their speed alone? Also pretty impressive for a human. I can't just say "This jutsu let's him run 200mph" because there no scale to put it beside. But that's more what I'm aiming for. Mounts run faster than humans, that's the point of a mount. Mounts also run significantly faster than Humans, and my summon is based on the idea that bipedal birds specifically designed to run, are much much faster than humans.

I suppose I should have done the math myself. If you do take it as literaly miles per second then he'd be supersonic, and that's not what I'm aiming for. Otherwise the wake of destruction he leaves behind him would be far, far more devistating, and Saya would probably suffocate because she couldn't catch a breath. He is a racecar, not a fighter jet, and I want a jutsu that correctly displays his raw running speed. I changed the wording some to make him less hyperbolic, and more ... well, realistic certainly isn't the word for a super fast 6 foot tall bird thing, but.. themeatic? I'm still aiming for "Pretty stupid fast" though.

[Aika]

Hada no Hamono Umō [Razorfeather Cloak]
So you've nullified this down to a C rank, which is fine. But now all it does is give him blue shimmery feathers that are moderately hardened? Is that the intention? If you want it to damage you need to list what kind of damage it can do. Liken it to that of kunai, maybe.

As a B rank cushioning falls and razor sharp edges to do the damage of a B rank was worthy of a medium cost of chakra. And, just for clarification, an Inuzuka is a clan based technique. They spend generations honing their techniques, in comparison to Saya and Sunamaru who have had a decade or two at the most. There is a distinct difference, which is why I asked you to up the cost when it was doing both attack and defense. If people have used just chakra to defend themselves, and it isn't a barrier technique, then it likely shouldn't have been approved. Without context though I can't give you a definitive answer; if you have a list of techniques you feel this is like then please do DM me with them and I will go through them.

Second tech is fine now.

Oni no Sokudo [Speed Demon]
This wasn't an argument, I feel like you took the wrong end of the stick here. When I said it is faster than body flicker, it's because it is. Shinobi cannot and should not be going miles in a few seconds. We have battle mods who stop this happening for a reason. The body flicker technique is designed to cover short spaces in short amounts of times, not long distances in short amount of times. Any such abuse would be acted upon. If we're going to talk science, which isn't really a strong point for a ninja website, we should discuss why this jutsu wouldn't work as it is.

Sunamaru runs at 200mph to cover longer distances. Super duper fast. Cool. Let us presuppose that his feet would even be able to keep up with him and he doesn't end up stumbling over himself, going head over heels and eviscerating him and Saya into nothing because he couldn't cope with the speed (as science would dictate anything going that fast would do). We would then also discuss the fact that anything going that fast with someone or something attached to its back basically opens it up to things like pebbles or debris being kicked up in his wake more or less act like a bullet that could shoot through something, including the rider, like putty. Then consider if someone uses a jutsu on Sunamaru running with Saya at such a speed, which is a high possibility since AoE exists and your bird can't teleport: it would be akin to a motorcycle crash, except she's not wearing any protective gear. Splat. There goes Saya.

If we ignore all of that science and go with just the Naruto AU that we have created on site, not the actual canon where Kishimoto did stupid things to pull in readers, you are literally trying to get me to accept someone on a bird moving so ridiculously fast that they can, by your own definition whether it was hyperbole or not, cover miles in seconds. The Shunshin cannot go 200mph in seconds, we don't use proper speed definition because it's hard to pin, it also has no maneuverability or control like this jutsu does. But one cannot Shunshin across an entire Village in one move because the science behind it is dangerous and the brokenness of it is also a possiblity, which is what you essentially want to do with this jutsu. The Shunshin is designed to get out of close call pinches or rush an opponent on a battlefield, not bloop across the world map in the space of an hour. It's unfair and improbable. As such it's still a no.

[Saru Saya]

Kay, I added the word "Sword" To clarify for you. I thought blades and sharp were descriptive enough, but there you go. Seriously...

Pardon my exasperation, but you're talking to me like you think you're my supervisor. Shocker, but you're not. Nor are you my mother, so if you think I'm going to accept "I said no and that's all there is to it" you are also mistaken. I'm going to continue defending this jutsu, because I want it, and it is perfectly fair.

Feel free to do some math, I'll wait. Really long legs, really fast bird, seems pretty reasonable to me.

Pebbles? Seriously, pebbles? We have nothing to account for stray branches, damp moss, weak branches, and let genin soar through the trees as though they were birds, but when it comes to running fast we have to worry about pebbles? Your denial makes no sense. The destruction caused by his sprinting is already accounted for in the jutsu, as is Saya needing to use tree climbing jutsu just to hold on for dear life.  AOEs?  Cool, then my poor little bird is in for a world of hurt, and probably Saya too.  That's a consquence of running fast, not a reason to deny the jutsu.  If someone blasts your wind technique with fire, you're also in for a world of hurt, but that's no reason to deny it.

As I stated previously, there is no listed maximum range on Shunshin, which allows shinobi to teleport great distances in an instant. They are not teleporting, though, they are physicaly moving through that space. They don't have to worry about pebbles? They don't have to worry about smacking into a bee and getting a concussion due to the velocity they're moving at? That's perfectly acceptable for a jutsu, but running fast isn't.

I'm sorry, you're just making no sense. I'm clearly not going to just take "I said no" as an answer, so fell free to actually explain your problem with this jutsu. There are a dozen and one and jutsu around that make people move faster. This is no different. Explain. Motorcycles go 200mph pretty easily, and do so with a rider on them. The rider has to worry about holding on, and has to worry about debris, and also exist in actual reality where actual rules of physics apply. My character, riding atop a giant bird made for sprinting, has none of those concerns, because this is fiction. Seriously I don't understand at all your problem with this jutsu. It's not game breaking, it's not over powered, it doesn't give Saya a massive edge in combat. Literally all it does, is let her run from one village to the next at breakneck speeds. For crying out loud, travel time isn't a thing here, this jutsu literally does nothing but give my roadrunner a jutsu to actually let him be among the fastest sprinters in the animal kingdom.. At about 6 inches in height, a roadrunner is already able to run 20mph. Stop just saying No, and explain yourself.  OR.. or..

Explain how fast people can run in this game.  Still no clear answer on that, which means 200mph could be slow for all I know.  It's difficult to quantify these things, so please be a mod and help, and stop just saying no.  Seriously, that's so damn annoying that people are like "I'm a mod, so I'll tell you what your character may have".  You're not the boss of me.. =P  Please note that "running stupid fast" is not on the list of banned techniques.

[Aika]

Oki doki. I feel like I explained myself pretty well with science and reasons for why on this site this jutsu isn't acceptable. And you're really taking the biscuit with being rude. Let me remind you of the site rules that you adhere to by playing on the site:

"2.) Listen to the Staff - This is fairly obvious, but sadly still needs mentioned. The entirety of the staff is taking time out of their lives to perform their duties on this site. They could have remained a regular member, but instead they decided to do their best to help everyone. As such you should treat them with respect and listen to what they have to say. (First number is character's age plus thirteen) If they ask for something to be changed on an application you should do it. If you feel they misunderstood or missed something, feel free to mention it, but if they still feel it needs changed then you change it with no further argument."

I'm not your mother, no. You're quite right. But as a mod on this site I do have the responsibility to ensure that what people get passed makes sense and is fair in every sense. This jutsu is not fair. You tried to re-explain yourself because you thought I might have missed something or misunderstood, I re-explained the logic to why I said no to confirm that I did not misunderstand or miss something. Rule 2 exists for this reason and if you're going to be rude enough to insult me then I will throw the rules at you. I'm not the boss of you personally, but I am part of a team that ensures we have reasonable jutsu passed.

Either take out the jutsu or this entire app is going to be locked and archived and you'll receive a strike for breaking our site rules.

[Saru Saya]

Pardon my continued defense of myself, but you're in a position of authority and I'm not. That does not mean I'm going to take things lying down. I have responded only with the same amount of attitude I saw given to me in your first reply. You still seem to be opperating under the premise of "I say jump, you say how high". I don't agree with that, and never will.

Instead of providing valid reasons on why this jutsu is to be denied, and not just be balanced out (as a moderator should be trying to do), you're still just insisting that I obey you. I'm not going to do that. I would prefer a second opinion on this jutsu, from a moderator that didn't come in denying a jutsu without even trying to balance it, but fell free to do whatever you feel is best.

You'll have to excuse me while I continue to find that extremely insulting.  For the record, I am listening to you.  I'm also disagreeing with you.  I'm not obeying you.  I am listening just fine and have reacted to all your complaints on the jutsu.

[Natsu]

You do need to watch your attitude towards the staff. There was much in that in which people would have found strikes or bans immediately rather than a warning in the past.

In regards to the jutsu, at the moment is unacceptable. The detail put into the jutsu very much makes it seem like it's on par with body flicker, which you and I both know we've danced around this issue in the past. Being a blur, barely able to make details, covering vast distances in little time at all.

One of the nice things about other speed jutsu is their relative way to compare. "This boost speed." So in a roleplay setting. You have Character A and B. Each with their own speeds. Do either have abilities that add to that? Do they add jutsu to that? Using one another as a comparison tool rather than the jutsu itself more than arguably comparing to a jutsu in canon that finds itself so broken it needs vast limitations on it.


If you really want it, you'll need to talk to Aika about how to make it acceptable. She's your reviewer. Play nice. Ask for suggestions if there's any way the idea might be allowed.

My suggestion? Make it more vague. "Birb gets a speed boost."

Keeping in mind I'm of one mod. She might not particularly agree that's enough.

---

Edit: Turning on a dime for a speed jutsu is... immensely nifty. Which I forgot to add into how broken I believed this was in being described. That vast control over the immense speeds could be compared to what Chidori users need abilities and special gifts for in order to not topple over. And I still don't think they can turn.

[Saru Saya]

I'm off to work now, I'll give this a look when I get home with fresh eyes.

I've been trying to find a way to balance it, but I'll I've gotten is what's wrong with it, being told no, and absolutely no suggestions on how to make it passable.