Was she trying to psychologist him? Akira had enough of it from one person, let alone another. The hours and days he'd spent in circles of other people, or the time he'd spent explaining how he felt - honestly, Akira was simply sick of it. Akira rolled his eyes, and turned to face her - arms crossed now, standing, and preventing himself from pacing across her living room like it was her own.
He
knew that Kyoko was acting in his best interest, that she loved Akira and wanted the best for him. It was a difficult process.
The man found himself wordlessly disagreeing, only for the sake of disagreeing and not because he thought she didn't have a valid point. It was him being obstinate if only for the idea of it.
"But I'm not happy." There was so much that he had to achieve just yet, so much that he needed to accomplish and leave everybody else in the dust. Akira was like Yoshiko: never stopping, with his own responsibilities though not as involved with other people from being a clan head.
It wasn't because things weren't good in his life, it was because he was not yet satisfied - not yet ready to call it quits. He didn't have everything yet.
Sure, Yoko had brought a smile to his face - but in his mind it was no different because others brought a smile to his face as well, though it was a lot less than what envisioning in his head.
It didn't help that the man was picky, he didn't form close friends at all at least, not as sincerely since Aoshi and Naoda - and held many acquaintances. That was its own can of worms as to why he'd avoided creating such close friends. There was Ouritsu, potentially? He knew he could count on Yoshiko but he didn't see her as a particularly close friend. Was Kaito even a weird contender? He couldn't really tell. But acquaintances didn't equal friends. Then there was him being clanless. The clan and clanless topic was always a hotly discussed one in the modern day, given how it'd started a civil war before and how tension didn't cease to exist after the fact.
It also held logistical problems: being a Shinobi wasn't a nine-to-five job that he could be like a civilian and destress from. Akira was always doing something, always out of the house every single day without fail. If anything, Akira set pushing himself too much and not allowing himself to fail - by setting his own standard too high. A hedonistic treadmill, so he had read up.
Just as it had been when he was thirteen, he didn't know where to turn. He'd remembered speaking to an unknown woman, Akatsuki: about how he'd wanted to take up new hobbies. Again, nothing had been actualised of that. Akira nearly sighed but was content in just his eyes drooping, gazing elsewhere in her home.
He was in his head a lot, and realised he'd really just been silent throughout his thoughts.
"Well.. uh." he cleared his throat.
"Things are fine as they are. I'm getting better... Doing therapy again." His volume was growing lower, only because he didn't really want to admit it.