[Akira]

Walking into his house (an overstatement) - more of a dilapidated apartment with broken floorboards, ripped wallpaper and dust that covered the area. It was unfortunate, but such was the case of his nature and not one that he tried to exterminate since it wasn't like anybody else was coming over. It was plentiful insofar as most of the traditional things a place needed... a fridge, kitchen-like apparatuses, they were not here. His natural state meant he didn't need to eat a whole lot, so he chose to eat out when it was time.

The only indication that this was used as a place of residence and somebody lived there was because there was a shelving unit that was cleaner than the rest: cleaner because it held lots of rows and columns, each with their own rock. All of various sizes, shapes, colors - some were rough and some were smooth. Some of them sparkled and some of them gave dull shines. They were all placed centrally to the row as best one could with all of the differentiation.

As Hotarubi walked by, he placed a new one down in the last remaining spot - lowest right corner, just above the floor. Insofar as 'geology' collecting meant, that meant it was a boring find, otherwise something else would have been placed there.

Hotarubi stared around the apartment, wondering what it was he should have done. He wandered: first to the living room, with a single large cabinet and what housed his shinobi relevant equivalent (which was little), and then he turned around - also the bedroom: a bed and a wardrobe for clothes. Such was life. It was what he could afford. There was no outside, no balcony. Just a window: and there wouldn't be much of one because it looked out into an alleyway, and as expected: it was where people kept their bins. He sighed, looking out the window: looking at nothing.

He sat down on the bed. Or rather: concrete stand. Not many things could hold his weight naturally, so he'd had to lug in something a little more... construction material. Same reason that he'd managed to find a ground floor place: nothing to fall through.

Did he sleep? It was still light out. Days had rolled by... same routine. Hotarubi wasn't sure how long he had sat there and he shook his head and stood up. Too much energy... and back out of the door again. Out into the village - and into the night to whatever it brought.

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[Hotaru Tadashi]

[attr="class","ren"]AND NOW I'M ALL ALONE IN MY STARLESS MIND

He couldn't do this. Not today at least. The tension, the guilt, the anger, the confusion. It was all too much. Why did he let his pride get the best of him and stay in this household? Why couldn't he just leave? It would be so easy for him to do so yet he always found himself returning to the estate of their combined families for a false marriage that held no love. The glow of his clan was completely gone from his body every time he saw her face. Not to mention the disdain his son seemed to have for him. He had no one to blame but himself for this he never spent time with him, but still, he longed to be a part of his boy's life now. Wasn't that enough?

Life at home was so suffocating to Tadashi so he always spent most of his time at work hoping to bury himself in the running of the academy this worked pretty well, but with how often he stayed the more often he would catch up on his work which meant he had no reason to stay there. This would lead him back home to feel the pain of betrayal and the heartache every night. So leaving for the night simply to pretend to go on patrol or just to get some air seemed like such a good escape for the grown man. The sky practically gave him a sense of freedom as he could wash away his woes even just for a second. However, what helped was the vice he ended up taking up more recently. A pack with him every day just in case to take the edge off him. It was like he could take his trouble suck them up and blow them out of his body as a form of release. It was satisfying, to say the least.

Finding a spot in which he could just look up to the sky and not be bottled down with questions or even simply bothered by many he would sit looking up to the sky wondering what he could do next. Each puff of his cigarette made him feel more and more at ease as his thoughts floated around a mix of his child and the children at the academy. Was his life even as bad as he was making it or was he simply just letting it spill over from holding it in so often? Honestly, he wasn't sure, but at the very least he had his wits about himself to not let his inner rage out on the innocent. It wasn't like his in-laws caused the falling out nor was it his son's fault. No this was something he needed to figure out on his own though when that would be he wasn't sure.

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[Akira]

The cooling sun was nicer to be out in - that illustrious orange glow covered the sides of buildings as he walked. That wouldn't last too long as fate would have him interacting with someone before long. At first, Hotarubi had only glanced as he walked by - and then double taked, and then stopped on his path, then turned toward them.

As one of the older entrants to the academy and one who had been a 'returner' - that is, one who joined the academy, left and then rejoined, Hotarubi had seen Tadashi around the academy for various purposes as he knew a Head Instructor to be. A difficult job most likely, but he had been so focused on getting through quickly this time, that he had barely seen him this time. But - there was no doubt Tadashi would have been involved with him being allowed to rejoin. Tadashi would have likely put a face to a name if he had looked, the pink hair that mopped his head was a good starting point - but the Shinobi-ism clothing was nowhere in site, since he would have ultimately fit into his environment and maybe only taken notice when Hotarubi had stopped, so close to him. Other people were passing, so this was nothing new - right?

And maybe - this had been the person he needed to speak to? Tadashi was there ultimately to teach, and maybe he would listen? There had to be more to life and Hotarubi had not yet found it.

It had been a hot minute and a whirlwind adventure between rejoining the academy, leaving the academy and becoming a Chūnin. "Yo - Taichō." He offered a short and curt wave before his hand retreated into his pocket. "Do you mind if I sit to talk?" The man would not stay if he was not wanted of course, but as one of the older Shinobi in his time for the academy, it would hopefully feel a little different than had it been one of the first year new entrants who came from the ages of 7 and onward.

Monotonous, blinking, and his face rather deadpan as he awaited the man's answer.

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[Hotaru Tadashi]

[attr="class","ren"]AND NOW I'M ALL ALONE IN MY STARLESS MIND

Something about the sky and the silence was very relaxing to Tadashi almost like he could just let his worries slip away staring at each cloud or star as if they were a stagnant being that would never judge or discriminate on the choices he made. It made him wonder just how far away they were and if maybe just maybe there were people out there doing the same as him. Was he alone in this life of his or was it just his mind always playing tricks on him? Certainly were questions he would need to be answered or at least figure out some sort of direction with, but for now, he would let each puff of his cigarette calm his nerves and let his mind wander.

A voice would soon call him back down to earth and when Tadashi turned to it he saw a familiar face. Well not familiar in the sense of personally knowing like a friend, but someone he had seen around the academy and in the paperwork of being an instructor for the academy. Hotarubi was certainly a rough child based on the reports he was given but was also just as talented. Even more so when he found out the boy had passed the chunin exams already. Despite his late start, he was certainly someone people could be proud of or at the very least be fearful of if they weren't careful. Tadashi was the former. So the fact he was being asked to talk by the student he couldn't help but smile and say, "Not at all." Tadashi would scoot over to give him room on the bench he was sitting on so Hotarubi could stretch out his legs if he wanted to. "Now what can I help you with?" Tadashi would ask the child who wasn't a child anymore.

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[Akira]

Hotarubi nodded and came to sit.


Hotarubi had always been rather strong minded - tough to change. "Thank you." and he would stretch out his long legs a bit more and would rest them on their heels as he sat - the bench creaked under his weight, but did not yet move, although the man would have likely felt a little lighter as his side of the bench rose a little bit, a slight environmental indicator of the Yamakira's weight.

The scent of smoke did not fall or go unattended as Hotarubi watched the wafts and pillars rise away into the wind. "You're a Jonin, yes?" Hotarubi would have assumed that the teachers, at a minimum, needed to be Chunin - Jonin to be higher. But that was all it was: an assumption. "I thought there'd be more. Don't ask - just... more." There wasn't a particular topic he meant in mind. "Like all of my problems would vanish now that I'm a Chunin - but I don't have any family, not any more. I barely see Nageku now," He clicked through his teeth as a sign of being bothered. "All I do is missions, go home - stare at a rock collection. Shinobi training. Nothing's fun anymore."

And he trailed off.

Then he exhaled - deeply. A pointless exercise, since he wasn't breathing oxygen as an earth body. "But I enjoy hurting. Dominating. Fighting. It's thrilling." Hotarubi sounded frustrated, even though it was something he liked. "Like the - uh. Best fuckin' thing you could ever eat. Then you go back to rice, and eggs." His return back from the exams. It was quarrelsome: but he hadn't yet even figured out what he was trying to do or what he wanted. This was just open complaining at this point, but he didn't stop to think whether or not this was a conversation Tadashi wanted to have. It was too late for asking, now. So - through everything he was saying, what he was not saying was that it was a struggle. Perhaps it was him being a stubborn man, perhaps it was him not trying to deny his base nature.

But - even still, whatever words Tadashi might've had the man would have listened all the same, it wasn't like he had to listen if he didn't want to...

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[Hotaru Tadashi]

[attr="class","ren"]AND NOW I'M ALL ALONE IN MY STARLESS MIND

It didn't go unnoticed by Tadashi when his side of the bench rose slightly when Hotarubi sat down and honestly, it was a bit amusing to Tadashi. He had read about his weight and what the clan was like so to experience the whole weight portion of it was rather amusing for the adult though he wouldn't show this to Hotarubi simply because he wasn't fully in the best space to gawk about the situation. Especially after Hotarubi decided to spill his guts to him.

He understood the feelings the boy had while not as aggressive he still could get a grasp on what the boy wanted. The mundane and repetitive nature of the shinobi life was a bit dull and life just felt routine after a certain point especially if one was alone. Something Tadashi, despite having a family technically, felt every day. "Can't say I can give you all the answers," Tadashi would say taking another puff from his smoke in response to Hotarubi.

"What I can say though is to try and find your place in the village that outside the shinobi system," Tadashi would say looking towards the pink-haired youth. "Create a family of your own, Find a way to share your expertise, or even take up a hobby to pass the time with," Tadashi would look out on the sunset and add, "Take your rock collection maybe see about turning them into a weapon collection by forging the rocks yourself for example. Create something beautiful and handy while still collecting. You can also look into teaching students like I have taken up. Sometimes molding the young minds might help pass the time though I'm guessing from how things went from the exams you probably wouldn't want to teach children." Tadashi said this in jest as a way to relieve any tension Hotarubi might have had as he chuckled at this comment.

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[Akira]

The man ruffled through his own pink feathers atop his head. That was typical, he normally had to find his own answers. Cast out of his own home, cast out of his own family, there was nothing but to be successful and to find answers. While he had his hobbies that were not combat related he couldn't help but feel a bit empty at Tadashi's words. Rather than answering and giving his own thoughts on the opinion of 'rock work' -

"You know my father, and you know what... a piece of work he is. Who doesn't, in this village." Hotarubi looked left and right, with nobody around he was able to finish the sentence. It was clear that even Hotarubi was afraid and deferential to the man. "I'm not ready for a family and I'm too young for that. There are many things I believe but being like him is not on that belief system." His voice was still terse and low. The man was the kind of destructive force that Doka and Oka were reknowned for: that destruction of entire squadrons, his father was an effective shinobi, but Doro was not a good shinobi. The man was evil, twisted, and had imparted some of that to Hotarubi. "If you didn't know, he is twisted and evil. My mother was afraid of him, didn't love him, she was... she was stolen on her own wedding day and claimed by him." Hotarubi was seldom truthful of his own nature. "And that is what the Yamakira are. They claim without regard for others. I inherited that legacy, and it is what I will become or die trying. Like a bunch of bastards."

Even though he said those things, Hotarubi seemed dejected in saying it. This was probably the first real conversation he'd had in years (and certainly the most talktive he'd been A) since the exams and B) since being banished from the family home). "I could try teaching. I guess. I'm a natural leader." And there it was - back to the stereotypical and unabashed confidence.

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[Hotaru Tadashi]

[attr="class","ren"]AND NOW I'M ALL ALONE IN MY STARLESS MIND

Tadashi understood too well what Hotarubi meant about his father. While he never experienced the man himself he had read the reports and the issues he caused others so he was, at least in theory, familiar with his work. So to hear Hotarubi felt he was destined to be like him ruffled Tadashi's feathers. He never believed in destiny and believed in hard work its how he became who he was after all. So why wouldn't that translate to Hotarubi? In his mind, the child had a lot more to him than simple anger and power. A diamond in the rough if you will. This meant Hotarubi, in Tadashi's eyes, had a lot more potential than he gave himself credit for.

He had to chuckle slightly at Hotubi's response about being too young to start a family. "That's not what I meant," he would say before taking another puff of smoke and putting out the rest of his cigarette. "Family can include friends or pets. People you build a bond with who aren't directly related to you. Create a friend group whom you are close to and can share your troubles and woes with. You will find it a lot more helpful if you have someone to vent to when things get tough." This was advice Tadashi was still learning himself of course, especially with how his family situation was going, but who better to help those starting on the path than one who was already on it?

"I also don't believe in destiny. You may be a Yamakira, but that's not all who you are. It's simply the name you were born with." Looking at Hotarubi with a gentle smile he would add, "I see a strong-willed young man who has gone through a lot of torment and trouble and who only wishes to prove himself to the world." Tadashi turned his gentle smile into a goofy grin that probably looked a tad odd for his age. Then when Hotarubi said he was a natural leader he couldn't help but ask, "Why don't you sit in for a few classes at the academy then? Not as a student, but rather to observe as an outsider. Learn the ways of how being a teacher is like from a different perspective." Tadashi would have to fill out some paperwork for this of course, but he figured it would be a good lesson for Hotarubi, and if things go well Tadashi might gain an assistant in the process of it.

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[Akira]

That was easier said than done: Hotarubi's growth and throughout his adulthood, Ninja-hood had only been associated with his time and experience in the Yamakira and that led to a warped view - he had become somewhat craven and dulled to the sense when it came to friends. It was easy for Hotarubi to think that he didn't need anybody: but friendship was hard to come by and it was something that he did need. This was not a fact that the man would admit to himself, nor would he be able to come to that conclusion. Yet - as he struggled in his feelings against the man's advice he could not decipher why it was.

Hotarubi wanted a lot more than to prove himself to the world: he wanted to stand on top of it. He got why Tadashi was offering this as an olive branch: many people had their own families, friendship groups. Hotarubi had come from a small, dust covered apartment by himself as a result of being forced from his home. Hotarubi crossed his arms and looked out at their surroundings while Tadashi spoke, looking up at the twilight shroud of the canopy the great tree provided them with.

"I... could do that." It was an opportunity to learn different things outside of his usual ninjutsu foray: but learning how to control people, controlling classes - that was a skill that he could feel himself learning. Being a leader in an Ops team was fine and all and it gave him some help in how to order people around: but it was scarcely helpful when you had colleagues that essentially were the same rank as you. If he wanted to stand on top than he would need to learn how to actually put it into practice. "I'm going to take over this village one day. But for me to do that, I need to kill my father." The reason it probably came so easy to Hotarubi to say out loud was that clan politics yielded above the personal laws of the village, and it was not an easy subject for them to delve into even if the man didn't agree.

In honesty, it was surprising that Hotarubi was blurting this out, his usual internal monologue being deciphered and tossed out - and maybe it was because Tadashi had that calming effect on people.

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[Hotaru Tadashi]

[attr="class","ren"]AND NOW I'M ALL ALONE IN MY STARLESS MIND

Tadashi couldn't help but chuckle at the boy's words. Taking over the village? That was something to strive for that's for sure. Shoot even he thought about it and who knows maybe he would throw his hat in the ringer for it if the time ever came, but he doubted he would get it. Not that he didn't think he was underqualified for it, but rather he felt his place in the world wasn't as big and grandiose as being the leader of the village was. He would be content for the time being working in the academy though if he could continue helping the growth of his son he wouldn't mind going higher up in the shinobi food chain.

"Can't say I fully approve of killing him for no reason, but if that's where your heart is set I can't stop you now can't I?" Yadashi would look at Hotarubi with a slightly stern look on his face when he said this, but he would soon relax it again into one of his rather goofy smiles. "Just promise me should you do become Lord of Taki you vow to change it for the better." Tadashi would beam a bright smile at Hotarubi at this comment and began thinking of the things he would do if he were in charge and hoped they would to some degree align with his ideals. While he was used to being a soldier of war since he was raised that way he couldn't help but feel Taki had this opportunity to be more than he currently was. Pulling out another cigarette to smoke he looked at Hotarubi and asked, "You want one?" He wasn't one to normally share his vices, but if the boy was as stressed as he said it couldn't hurt him.

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[Akira]

Maybe the Yamakira was just coming off as the overshooting, rambunctious child that he had been during the academy, and that was fair - he wasn't known as a 'king of ruffians' just because he was good and nice.

It was a problem that had been on his mind for a very long time. Hotarubi looked over at Tadashi with some mild disgust: if he knew what Doro was like, then if he wasn't for it, what did he stand for? "Eh. Probably won't happen. Lord Ryu is the sky above the sky." Hotarubi would wave the idea off. It was one thing to suggest the idea of being the village leader but he was only a Chunin - he had his projection and his ideas but actually executing them required help, and that was not something he would seek himself.

But, noted, he never really answered Tadashi's question. If it were asked again: Hotarubi would have happily provided his own ideology. Tougher military, more effectiveness: less crime. Maybe Ryu was already doing that and he didn't get to see the outcomes since he was right down in the mud with the people, as opposed to looking from above for the commander's view? Looking over again when Tadashi offered him a cigarette, Hotarubi shook his head. "No."

But really, he had his own problems to actually fix first. "How's my brother doing?" Hotarubi would ask, quietly. It was another source of concern as well, and there was a softness in his voice that few would ever get to hear, as it seemed to be one of Hotarubi's few weaknesses. Even if they had a temperamental relationship it had always been Nageku there at heart.

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[Hotaru Tadashi]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ren"]AND NOW I'M ALL ALONE IN MY STARLESS MIND

Tadashi couldn't help but chuckle at Hotarubi's response about Lord Ryu and responded with, "Yeah I agree. Don't see anyone taking his place anytime soon myself." Tadashi would never admit it out loud himself but there were times he wished he could get the position though his reasons for it weren't as noble as others might be. So it wasn't something he put a lot of stock in for himself besides he was content with staying at the academy for now as it felt right for him and how his life was currently going. Maybe down the line in his life, he could make a career change, but for now, he was good.[break][break]

Tadashi wasn't upset when Hotarubi decided to decline his cigarette and honestly was happy for the boy since it was a tough habit to break once one did it. So he was proud of him for not falling victim to its call and simply putting them away as he continued to look at the night sky while he talked with the boy as the subject changed to his brother. Tadashi had to sigh a little bit though not in dissapoint but rather to relieve his thoughts for a second. "He's doing fine should be graduating sometime soon I believe," Tadashi would say honestly giving Hotarubi a gentle smile before adding, "If only he could control his temper around his peers he would be able to get things done a lot quicker though I don't see that changing anytime soon." A small evaluation he had of the boy, but not one that was bad since having a temper could prove useful out in the field at times though it would affect his teamwork skills when on a gnein team so hopefully he would be able to get past that at some point.

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