[Sora Minami]

Sora paused when Ikana made her first remark, visibly taking in a long, slow breath as she finished tying the girl’s bandage. She had asked for openness from her- it was only fair to give the same.

"No, I’m not." The Jounin said, smiling sadly. "I’m a killer, Ikana, and I won’t pretend otherwise." She had slaughtered innocents in the name of peace, butchered families and burnt towns to stop a single Shinobi on the front, had helped spread a wave of terror across Mizu no Kuni whose echoes could still be felt over a decade later. "But I realized that I’m more than what I can do. More than what I’ve done… and so are you."

She let the girl speak then, listening intently as the pair of them stood, backs to the sea. She had known that the Mizukage who had given her the Sanbi had been… difficult to deal with, but hearing what he said to Ikan made her glad the man was long gone from the village. It would have been terrible manners to assassinate a former Mizukage, after all. No wonder she thinks the way she does.

"He was wrong, Ikana." Sora said after a long moment of silence, her voice soft as they walked, slowly, away from the sea. "You were never worthless. No one is." That was the secret she had come to understand, the truth that had helped her to understand, to cope with the pain. Her murders had been wrong because they took something valuable from the world… but if the people who died had value and worth, that meant she did too.

"I only have one question, Ikana. Well, a request, actually." The pink-haired Jounin said, turning to look at her younger sister, sky-blue eyes calm and open, her hair filled with bits of rock and dust from the explosion and combat. She didn’t need to know much. Just one thing, really. "Will you give me a chance to be your sister, for real?"

Miyamoto Ikana

[Miyamoto Ikana]

"I know that." She said, looking upon Sora. "We all are." She said it as if that was the most simplest thing. A self evident truth. "That's what Shinobi are. That's what I am." She says, taking that deep rooted wording into herself. However, when Sora mentioned being more than what she could do? More than what she'd done? Ikana slowly tilts her head and smiles, though for the first time. Despite her eyes being closed? It seemed genuine. More at peace. Before she slowly reaches out and places a hand on Sora's chest near her heart.

"Beyond what I can do? Beyond my usefulness. I'm nothing. I came from it. I lived in it. And I'll return to that. I'm sure of it." She says, expressing her seeming regression, growth, or perhaps conviction now. "But inbetween the end and my beginning, I realize now that my life's value and purpose is undecided. If I could be a useful tool for someone. If someone could look at me and say that they need me?...That's more than I could have dreamed of. More than I deserve." She says, before displaying how depressing that existence was. Sora mentioned a request, and she asked if she could be Ikana's sister. Asked if she could have the chance.

"...I had a sister once." She said, as if it were a distant memory. "...Honestly. I realize I'm too old to be loved by people the way I wished I could. I realize that love isn't just a thing you get and give. It's also something you lose. And when you do? It turns into ashes in your mouth. You want to be my sister? But why?..." She says, slowly letting her hand drop and fall to her side. Her smile was still there, but Ikana seemed so...tired. As if she'd seen too much. As if the burdens were just a bit too heavy. As if she'd given up and found a comfort in that hopelessness.

"Why would you want to try to love me? When I can't even love myself?..."

[Sora Minami]

Sora listened to Ikana’s words, her lips slowly shifting downward as the young Chuunin spoke, the storm inside a roiling pit of emotions that threatened to snap her fragile sense of control with every fresh breath. She had known the girl was hurting, that she had been used and discarded, but to hear that she viewed herself in such a way? Disgraceful. This was why she had to get stronger, why her search for her family ties had to bear fruit. It didn’t matter how thin the connection was, if she could just find a thread to pull on then maybe…

"You aren’t worthless, Ikana." The Jounin said, sighing as she slid her hand up to grasp her sister’s, holding it softly as she spoke. That was the problem with teaching a shinobi that their value could only be found in what they could provide for the village- eventually, you ended up with a child like Ikana, tossed aside for not being exceptional enough, treated as scum for simply trying to do her best. "You were never worthless."

Sora paused then, kneeling in front of Ikana as she brushed a strand of hair from the brunette’s face, not allowing her to recede into that darkness. Just as her Sensei had done, just as Shin had done, just as countless others had done for her, she would do for Ikana. She might not be ready to take the hand she offered, but that didn’t mean she was going to give up on her. Not now, not ever. It was the least the girl deserved, after what she had been through.

"I want to be your sister because I care, Ikana." She said, allowing herself a small, knowing smile as she stood, still holding Ikana’s hand. "Because, even though you don’t see how valuable you are, I do. I see you, every spot and speckle, every bloodied nightmare… and I say you are not worthless."

Miyamoto Ikana

[Miyamoto Ikana]

She listened to Sora speak. Listened to her words before she looked down to her bloody wound, and then back up to look her in the eyes. She seemed kind of drunk almost in those moments. When she mentioned that she was valuable. She wasn't really sure if she felt the way she did because of dogma, or the failure to meet up to expectations. Or if it was because there was once high hopes put up for her. She said she cared. The brunette found herself withdrawn and largely quiet. Thinking about the tears that were shed for her, she thought about how Sora had stayed up and worried of her health. Her well being.

"If I'm not worthless...Tell me what I'm worth. Guide me. And use me until you can't anymore." She says, tilting her head as she seemed to really think about it. "Right now. That's all I really want." How pitifully sad that had to be. Yet, at least to have that? The spirit of servitude, that had to be something right? It was a difficult concept for Ikana, if not outright impossible to understand for her that her life was worth something beyond skills, talents, and capabilities. However, she understood that it's applications came through service. The village invested in her, and her value was dependent on what she could return. Ikana couldn't believe or trust in anything else. 

"I don't need sisters. Or brothers. Or friends. Or family. I just need instruction now. I'm a tool. I want to be a valuable tool." It was too late for her to have a semblance of childhood, or the warm sentiments that would develop her in a healthy manner. It was probable that she was fucked beyond compare. But so long as she had this? Use to someone else, it gave her existence a sense of purposes, and would keep her from true insanity. Ikana had finally, finally been able to do it, as she looks Sora in the eyes with a dull, but somewhat hopeful gaze. She'd more or less killed her internal desires and had detached herself from everything; including what little value, decency, and self respect she had for her life. It was a role she designated herself.

But at least if Ikana was to be a tool, she could be used by someone who cared about it's condition. Who better to use her than Sora Minami? 

[Sora Minami]

Sora knew, almost from the moment that the words came out of her mouth, that they weren’t the right ones. They had been honest, heartfelt, brimming with emotion… but they weren’t what would help Ikana. She could see it in the girl’s expression, the confused, almost dazed look in her eye that said the word had sunk deep, but not deep enough. The trauma, the pain, the fear had been soothed, but not healed. And then the Chuunin asked her question, and her heart broke all over again.

Oh, Ikana. The Jounin thought, closing her eyes for a moment as she squeezed her sister’s hand, her words like daggers through the pink-haired woman’s chest. There was so many things she wanted to say, so many things Ikana needed to hear, to know… but right now, only one thing mattered. For all the young brunette spoke of wanting to be strong, of hardening her heart to be strong, the truth was she was doing the opposite. Steel cracks, stone is worn away beneath the storm, but a willow bends beneath the winds and endures.

"You cannot put a price on people, Ikana." Sora said, her voice soft and solemn as she looked down at the teen, all semblance of a smile, of happiness gone from her frame. The storm in her chest was quiet, the raging tempest silenced by the sadness of what she was hearing- though, deep within, it still seethed, waiting for a moment to lash out and strike. "But if you want to be of use, I have something you can do."

The Jounin paused then, breath hitching in her throat as she held onto Ikana’s hand, grip tight but not crushing, her tone soft and comforting, as much as she could manage.

"Live."

Miyamoto Ikana

[Miyamoto Ikana]

Live. That was what she was asked to do, and in that moment, Ikana looked on. "I will." It wasn't hard. If anything, she did so instinctively because she was too fearful of death. Maybe not the idea of it itself, but more so because of the fear of what came afterwards. No. Maybe the thought of it being so irrelevant and swift. Live. She was told, and slowly, she feels the throbbing pain in her leg kind of...mute. Sora told her there wasn't a price on people. That you couldn't quantify what a life was worth.

"I'm sorry that I didn't get to show you a lot of what I'm really capable of." She says, giving the idea that she'd actually had a lot more to offer. It was strange how they lived in the same house, adn how much Sora cared. Because in a way, maybe Ikana felt as if it was wasted on her. That she was undeserving. That she was filthy and disgusting, and that she was very much a wasted thing. Her face seemed marginally paler, and slowly, looks to her wound. Taking a deep breath, she gave a deep exhale as she looked upon the hurt on Sora's face. Before realizing that maybe her existence in its entirety was a misfortune.

"I'll show you more next time."

[Sora Minami]

"Don’t be." Sora said, her voice soft and gentle as she looked down at Ikana, noting the paleness of her face, the shuddering tremble that had begun to take hold of her limbs, the sharp intake of breath whenever she inhaled… She was definitely more injured than she wanted to let on. "You did well." No one really expected a fresh Chuunin to be able to fight a full-fledged Jounin out of the gate, and certainly not one as hyper-focused on combat as she was.

"We should get you to a medic though. That stab wound looks nasty." The pink-haired woman said, leaving no real room for argument in her tone as she knelt down and, with a single arm, scooped her student up in a fireman’s carry, hoisting the girl over her shoulder. She took care not to jostle her too much- leg wounds could be tricky, after all. Moving with all the speed she could muster, the Jounin took off towards the village, her feet bursting with wind chakra as she accelerated forwards as quickly as possible…

And hoped her former student didn’t notice the soft tears the blurred her vision the whole way home.

fin

Miyamoto Ikana