[Shizu Amaya]

Kuromoya cartridges | personal OWNER: Shizu Amaya RANK: C CLASSIFICATION: Supplementary ELEMENT: - RESTRICTIONS: - DESCRIPTION: Small cartridges which fit into the hilt of Akumaha: Hajimari. There are small black, nondescript containers. The bottom of the container can be flipped up to release the smog. Does not have to be in Akumaha to be activated.  ABILITIES: Kuromoya [Black Smog]: While meant to be used with Hajimari, they can be used as smoke bombs. When activated these cartridges begin to billow out a thick black smog. This smog is only able to obscure vision with its thickness, and can be inhaled without being harmful and contains no special properties. While the area is fully covered, anyone within has their field of vision reduced to 1.5 metres in any direction.The smog can resist being blown away from Fuuton jutsu, however powerful Fuuton jutsu will be able to blow away the smog. When used without Hajimari the smog is less effective, only spreading out ten meters.

[Eleri]

To make sure I understand correctly, is this a more advanced sort of smoke bomb?

The only difference between the sword ability and this one is that you can use these separate from the sword, yes?

[Shizu Amaya]

Basically yeah, the smoke is thicker and heavier so it is harder to displace. Its main purpose is to be used as refills or to be thrown.

[Eleri]

Regular smoke bombs are C rank, so right now this is doing too much, especially for a D rank, but even as a C rank it should be somewhat equivalent.

For context, here's what a regular smoke bomb does:

"Smoke bombs create a clouds of smoke when it detonates. They may look like small spheres wrapped in paper. Smoke bombs are typically used to blind opponents and make them easier to attack. Alternatively, ninja can use smoke bombs on themselves so that opponents cannot see what they are doing. The smoke itself isn't particularly dangerous, and only induces a slight cough from those trapped in its 5 meter radius."

[Shizu Amaya]

Updated to C

[Eleri]

Because it's currently a better smoke bomb, C is a little low for what it actively does. Your sword is B, so it's fine if it works like that with the sword, but when used alone it should be equivalent to what a regular smoke bomb can do, even if with different effect.

For example, if it's harder to disperse, maybe it has a smaller area of effect? Or some other drawback that you prefer.

[Shizu Amaya]

I halfed the AOE if not used with the sword

[Eleri]

Rereading it, I think it's less confusing if you take out the sword's special ability entirely and just say what the cartridges themselves do, so something like:

Kuromoya [Black Smog]: While meant to be used with Hajimari, they can be used as smoke bombs. When activated these cartridges begin to billow out a thick black smog. This smog is only able to obscure vision with its thickness, and can be inhaled without being harmful and contains no special properties. While the area is fully covered, anyone within has their field of vision reduced to five feet in any direction.The smog can resist being blown away from Fuuton jutsu, however powerful Fuuton jutsu will be able to blow away the smog. When used without Hajimari the smog is less effective, only spreading out ten meters.

If that makes sense.

[Shizu Amaya]

That is wonderful, I replaced it with what you wrote.

[Eleri]

I feel like I'm forgetting something, but I can't think of what, so I'll leave it to the next mod

[1/2 Approved]

[Han]

A standard smoke bomb has a 5 meter radius. So this is saying it is better than a smoke bomb by 5 extra meters but at the same rank + resistance to Fuuton.

If you would like resistance to Fuuton make it smaller, reduce radius to 2.5 meters. If you would like to expand it out to 10 meters remove Fuuton resistance entirely and improve general visibility within the smog itself.

If you would like this level of resistance to Fuuton, and a larger overall radius please raise the rank of this item to B-Rank.

Also the first part says reduces vision to 5 feet (which is about 1.5 meters) and the second part says 10 meters. Please change both to feet or both to meters.

It is also unclear if this is a universal, personal, village etc piece of equipment?

[Shizu Amaya]

To avoid redundancy in my available B ranks, would making this only usable with the blade the effect was originally approved for keep it at a C-rank? The original item already has re-stocking mentioned in it, this can just be used for that and unusable on it's own.

Added personal to the post, it was only in the thread title.

Changed all to metres.

[Han]

With the current powers that it has, making it usable only with the blade would not keep it at a C-Rank.

It says that without the sword it is less effective going out to 10 meters. Which is *more* effective than a regular smoke bomb. Which implies that used with the sword it goes further than 10 meters, on top of being capable of resisting Fuuton.

If we were to say it is weaker without a sword then it should be 2.5 meters w/o it. With a sword it should match a smoke bomb at about 5 meters.

If you would like to keep the Fuuton resistance then that 5 meters should be reduced to 2.5 meters (which reduces the w/o a sword activation to 1.25 meters). If you would like to maximize and say it expands to 10 meters WITH the sword (since this is already more than a standard smoke bomb times two) then the fuuton resistance should be entirely removed (without a sword it will expand to 5 meters in this version).

[Shizu Amaya]

So would you say it is redundant to app something as a refill when the idea of a refill is already in the original app? Or the original blade cannot be refilled until Amaya is able to have more than one B-rank?

Edit: or should the cartridge itself be the b rank than Hajimari itself be just a sword? If the smog is what makes the blade a B rank, perhaps we just do a shuffle? Blade becomes a blade and the cartridge is the b rank attached to a normal weapon?

[Han]

Why is a refill being apped that does the exact same thing as what the ability of the sword does? I thought this was a separate cartridge being attached to the sword, however it seems that the sword *already has* a similar black smog ability.

In other words I do not see the point for this application at all. Was your goal to be able to go beyond 20 rotations in a singular thread?

20 rotations is already a preposterous amount it's literally at minimum 40 posts (between two people) which is an S-Rank mission all on its own. I do not foresee you being allowed to have infinite access to this in a singular thread, twenty rotations is in this case based on the original weapon - plenty.

The normal weapon would need some kind of attachment making it capable to utilize this black smog situation... But again I don't see how you would be allowed to go beyond the 20 rotations from the original application of the sword.