[Yume Esha]

✚ Yume Esha

NAME: Tomogui [Cannibalism]
RANK: S
CHAKRA USAGE: Very Low
CLASSIFICATION: Medical Ninjutsu
ELEMENT: N/A
HANDSEALS: Tiger
DESCRIPTION:

A blasphemous kinjutsu, this dangerous technique applies a complete reversal to the theories behind most medical jutsu. Instead of stimulating growth of cells with chakra, this jutsu tears perfectly healthy cells asunder. Reaping them in the reverse process of healing, the chakra sustaining the cells is freed to be used for other means. Each time this technique is activated, the user regains 1 very high amount of chakra.

To understand the mechanics of this jutsu, you have to break down a user's over all health into different damage catagories.  There is no threat to a perfectly healthy person using this jutsu once, however it becomes increasingly dangerous, and quickly lethal, to use this jutsu when not uninjured.  The catagories are as follows.

Uninjured:  A perfectly healthy person that has no received any injuries.  Minor scratches do not count towards this.  An uninjured person using this jutsu will cause widespread damage throughout their entire body.  While not life threatening, the damage is wide spread enough that healing even with mystic palm would take hours of tedious and constant work, and cost more chakra than the jutsu provided.  A day or two of bed rest is enough for the body to recover on it's own from this damage.  A single use of this jutsu while uninjured moves the medic into the next catagory.

Injured:  An Injured shinobi has received damage from one or more sources.  Bruises, minor cuts, nothing as serious as broken bones or internal bleeding.  An injured shinobi is still able to act normally, however they are noticeably damaged.  Using this jutsu while injured is dangerous, and can easily be fatal.  Lacerations rip open in the skin and major organs are harvested for their chakra.  Internal bleeding becomes a quick issue, and pain becomes severe and widespread.  Healing from this is almost impossible without proper medical aid, and even with medical aid could requires weeks in bed and days of careful application of the mystic palm technique.  Without medical care the wounds are almost always fatal.  Using this jutsu while Injured moves the medic into the next category.

Crippled:  A crippled shinobi is a near death shinobi.  Excessive bleeding both internal and external, broke limbs, deep cuts, severe burns or crushed limbs have all slowed this ninja down, weakened them, and put them on a downward spiral to death.  Without even using this jutsu, this character is likely to die without quick and effective medical treatment.  Using this jutsu while so injured puts the shinobi into the next catagory.  It should noted that a shinobi who uses this jutsu while so injured is dead (noted below) but has a single post in which to use their harvest chakra for some heroic end.

Dead:  A dead shinobi is.. dead.  Healing will not help them.  They are dead.  Maybe resurrect them instead.  A shinobi can not use this jutsu while they are dead, because they are dead.  Their body almost dissolves as the final harvesting of chakra rends nervous and muscle tissue to shreds.  They bleed from nearly every inch of skin and every organ will fail.  Even their brain is slowly rent to pieces as the shinobi is reduced to a softened pile of brittle bone and soupy biomass.  Even resurrecting them would take some effort.

It should be noted that shadow clones and their elemental derivatives, being made of chakra and lacking true biology, may not use this jutsu.

NAME: Jinja no hogo fuin [Shrine Protection Seal]
RANK: B
CHAKRA USAGE: Medium
CLASSIFICATION: Fuuinjutsu
ELEMENT: Doton
HANDSEALS: Tiger
TRIGGER: Four seals must be placed on the exterior walls of the building to be protected. Each seal must be marked with the with a simple Fuuin symbol for Protect.
DESCRIPTION:

Once the seals are placed, the caster need only make a tiger seal and spend some chakra to activate them. Immediately the building becomes nearly impenetrable. All doors and windows are secured through locks that can be released only with through the shrine protection seal. The doton chakra used infuses through every exterior wall and window, greatly increasing their ability to resist being crushed. This makes things about twice as tough as usual, which is still easy enough to get past if you really, really want to.

Otherwise, passage into the building while it is locked either requires the pass phrase, or for the seal to be broken by a higher ranked unsealing jutsu.

NAME: Haha no hōyō [Mother’s Embrace]
RANK: B
CHAKRA USAGE: Medium
CLASSIFICATION: Ninjutsu
ELEMENT: Doton
HANDSEALS: Snake – Boar – Ox – Tiger
DESCRIPTION:

After forming the hand seals for this jutsu, the user released the chakra through either their hands or their feet. As soon as the jutsu is activated the earth around the user quickly erupts into motion. The ground can be pulled up rapidly, and with some on the fly customization on the shape. It can be formed into either a line, a semi-circle, or a dome that will rise up and fully enclose the user.

In any case, the earth is almost always shaped like a pair of hands and forearms which grow from the earth to protect the user. This defense is extremely durable, able to withstand all but the most powerful attacks from the other elements. Raiton is its weakness, of course. While this can be used to trap someone other than the user within the dome, as the jutsu centers on the caster the caster must also trap themselves in there as well.

[Q]

Tomogui [Cannibalism]: Although this is a rather unique idea, i think it's fine. The basic idea is in the same vein as calorie control for akimichi, but instead of transforming fatty tissue into chakra you're deconstructing vital tissue into chakra. I'll leave the final decision to the staff that looks at it after me, but I'd just like 2 things added/changed. Instead of

Using this jutsu while near death results in a near instantaneous demise. Tearing out the last bit of their essence, the user has 5 seconds to act, and then they will die.

i'd like to know how long this is in post rotations. The second thing i want changed that the second paragraph hints at is, i'd like the jutsu to explicitly put a limit on the number of uses the user can use this jutsu before another use of the jutsu kills them. Based on the wording of the second paragraph, i assumed 2 uses in a row would kill the user, but i'd like to see your thoughts on it.


Doton Suiei [Earth Swimming]: Considering the fact that you reference Underground Submarine Voyage, the cost should probably be comparable, at least medium. To my understanding, yours sounds like it moves slower, but in exchange for that you get to pull oxygen from plants in order to stay submerged indefinitely and sense everything within 15m. I would be willing to consider low to put it in line with Underground Fish Projection, but it does more than that jutsu. 


Bēru o yaburu [Breaking the Veil]: After double checking with natsu, this just sorta subverts the current genjutsu escape rules. So this is a hard no on this jutsu.

Oboreta mori [Drowned Forest]: While submerged does she get oxygen like in the earth swimming jutsu, or can she drown during this jutsu? I would like to see a Sustained cost added to this jutsu for controlling the kelp-like vines. I'm fine with the current activation cost though.

I could make a few other nitpicks, but this is all the most important stuff.

[Yume Esha]

Cannibalism: edited a little to better explain. Each use leads into the next, so I suppose that means a perfectly health person could use it 4 times if they were willing to die at the end. Or, depending on the level of injury already sustained, use it less times before dying. Or just use it a couple times, and maybe not die if you can get a medic to help you. That is pointless, as it will be rare that Esha, a medic, can not help herself. Still, it'd hurt a lot, and she'd have a net loss if she used all the chakra she gathered to heal herself.

Earth Swimming: Modified the chakra cost slightly. The way I am looking at it, submarine voyage only costs you once, then you can pretty much stay down there until you are forced up. You can come up and take a breath and go back down. For the Yume, the cost is less at first, however the longer they remain underground, they continue to pay the sustained cost. Eventually the cost would surpass that of submarine voyage. I have to admit, though, that this jutsu is faaar more useful than the other, so I could see raising the cost some. I suppose I could remove the sustained chakra cost, I am open to suggestions.

Kai: Removed. Fair enough, I'll have her start without Kai and learn it IC. It makes sense that way, anyway. *nodnod*

Drowned Forest: Upped the chakra cost a little, as I think it was a little low. Added details for how much it costs to mend the kelp, and a note regarding her mammalian need for steady oxygen.

Removed the chakra blade, cause I made to many jutsu, and need more space. Might end up deleting the kelp forest, I am not 100% on that yet.

[Q]

Cannibalism: I'm alright with the jutsu killing on its 4th use and requiring more chakra to heal a single use than the jutsu itself gives, i'll leave this to another staff to decide whether the effect needs to be tuned down.

Earth Swimming: Submarine Voyage has a continuous medium chakra cost every post rotation, and Underground Fish Projection which is similar has a low continuous cost every post rotation. So this not only costs less initially and has a lower drain than both comparable jutsu, but it has additional sensory effects and the ability to give the user oxygen while submerged. While another staff might ask for more, I'd at least like to see a medium initial cost and a low drain.

After the chakra cost of Earth Swimming is increased to medium with a low drain i'll 1/2.

[Yume Esha]

Wow, when did that change? I know that [continuous] wasn't on the jutsu before.

Noted, and chakra cost updated. Though now I worry, as it is an arguably better jutsu, with a lower chakra cost. I suppose the lower speed does limit it some, but c'est la vie. I am okay with it!

[Q]

The next reviewer can decide if earth swimming should cost more since compared to underground fish projection it moves slower but has 2 additional functions and costs less.

And id like their thoughts on cannibalism as well.


1/2

[Yoshiko]

Tomogui [Cannibalism] Let's say you're healthy, how many times do you pop this before it kills you? Also, I don't believe in you being able to get very high chakra from a technique healed by something with medium chakra. You want extra chakra at a cost, then that must be reflected in this technique. Change the wording to state the chakra needed to fully heal the damage done is equal to that taken, plus the very low chakra. I don't want you cheesing extra chakra than you start with, especially when it's all chakra drained from you to begin with.

Doton Suiei [Earth Swimming] - You'll need to specify being able to move through soil and not earth. Earth to me includes rock and this state will not travel through ground that isn't somewhat lose. Furthermore the less loose and moist / plant rich the soil is the slower you move through it, as I'd say in deserts or rocky plains there's likely little plant life.

Oboreta Mori [Drowned Forest] - If you're controlling all this kelp, then you'll be draining more than a low amount of chakra when it's damaged. I'd instead state it has a constant drain and just let it regenerating be an ability of it. Where does the kelp come from if the lake isn't present? If I read the Yume right they accelerate growth not magically summon plants.

-Yoshiko

[Yume Esha]

Cannibalism: The last paragraph already states that it costs more chakra to heal the damage caused by the jutsu than it provides in chakra with each use. Also, a perfectly healthy person could use it 4 times before killing themselves.

Earth Swimming: I am confused why this jutsu wouldn't be used in stone, or why it would slow you down with you were going through sand. Could you explain hat a bit more? This is just a jutsu that lets you move through the ground, not physically dig a path through it. I've already included in it a line that states that it moves at about a jogging pace. So far as the plants, it is pretty hard to find a patch of even desert sand that isn't full of pollen, spores, and other microbial plant life. Life is everywhere.

Drowned Forest: Like Kisame's shark jutsu, they are just chakra constructs. Like hyuuga lion punch, earth dragon, the lightning wolf lion looking thing, and mostly like Kisame's sharks, they are just chakra given shape and purpose. They're not real kelp. Regardless, as I still need to narrow my jutsu list down by 1 more, I decided to delete the kelp forest jutsu. I might make it again later, but in truth Esha doesn't really need offensive jutsu. She's a poisoner, not a fighter.  I just had the idea and wanted to see it on paper.

[Yoshiko]

Cannibalism: "Though the damage caused by this technique typically costs more to heal than it provides with each harvest, the damage caused by this jutsu can still be healed through techniques such as the mystic palm." Typically is not the same as always. Mystic Palm is a medium costing technique. You get very high chakra from a thing that costs medium to fix and that's what your last paragraph tells me. The fact you don't specify the four posts thing is also not helpful, so please include this technique will kill you if used four times.

Earth Swimming: You suck oxygen out of pollen in sand? And you mention moving like liquid, so I think a little more limitation than speed. Even at a jogging pace unaware victims are easy targets. I don't think you need to be able to travel through pure stone. Nor do I think you should get the breathing perk from plants not living and breathing themselves. This technique is significantly better than the other rock techniques by being cheaper, so to have two things on top of that I just want some reasonable level of limitation. To me that means no breathing in the desert sand and no traveling through stone. Iwagakure no Jutsu is literally a technique that specifies being the only rock technique to let one merge with hardened stone. Everything else is digging and I believe has been discussed to move slower through denser earth.

Drowned Forest: You wanted me to be cool with a lakes worth of kelp chakra constructs? That's so much more chakra to control than the sharks or other things you mentioned. I don't feel like we had the same scales in mind, but whatever I'll make sure to be first to review this jutsu if you re-write it elsewhere. ;P

[Yume Esha]

Drowned Forest: Yes! Well, I didn't 'expect' it, I just kinda hoped. ^ - ^

Cannibalize has been reworked, jutsu remain to be checked! yay!  

I think I need a 1/2 again, it's been a while.

[Yoshiko]

Tomogui [Cannibalism] - Good.

Jinja no hogo fuin [Shrine Protection Seal] - "or for the seal to be broken by a higher ranked unsealing jutsu." I'm not too keen on this phrase, as I'd say a higher skilled fuuin specialist with an SA devoted to breaking Fuuin could probably break it with an equal or lower rank fuuin, granted it was specifically designed to break this one. Albeit this situation might never happen, it's even less likely anyone would have an A-rank to counter as that'd forcibly require a fuuin spec.

Haha no hōyō [Mother’s Embrace] - Maybe the defense description is a little much, but I'm not confident it is and I'm unsure how to re-word it, so this'll get my pass.