[Deleted]

Akira waited in.. with tension. Waiting for an answer from her. It was a curiosity and he needed to give her the time to get to a conclusion herself. The longer she took - he would take a gulp. Why was this so difficult? She was a heretic. She was better laid across a sacrificial altar, let alone an object of gentle affection for him.

The eyepatch? Sure. "Why did you give it to me if it's that important?" Akira would ask her. As far as she knew, he was just another... another shinobi. Maybe it was just another? He would rub at his face. Perhaps he should have just been thankful? "Thank you. I'll treasure it." Well. That was reason enough to keep it on for now- even if he had a working eye. "It's already night..." Not that she needed the information given that it was already very dark outside. "Would you like if I caught us some food? Did you need a sleeping bag? It's cold out," There he was again, taking care of her needs like she was incapable of making those decisions herself. "I can cook it and bring it to you, if you want?" Akira would give her the opportunity.

Still - she was giving him a chance. That was good. One thing at a time, his soul would put the jigsaw pieces back into each position, back where they needed to be. Though he didn't run out of physical energy (relatively speaking) it didn't mean he didn't need to never stop. Even then - the cold was setting in as the sun finally fled from the sky. Snow began to fall. It was light: only dusting their clothing. Did he approach her? Was that the right thing to do?

Thoughts and morality were the most difficult for him in this stage. Then there was the desire to tell her of his true nature - but he couldn't trust her. He could only trust his Lord and the Harbinger. It did not call to him. When was there an appropriate time? "I got some of my memories back," Akira spoke. In the time that they had been away, she might've asked what had changed? The man would tack on.

Ultimately it was coming down, how could he have tended to her needs? There was surely a reason that she could make use somewhere near to him. But no - she wasn't a possession. Her own thing. It had been evident by her... loose adherence to breaking the rules.

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[Akatsuki]

 

- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -

"Deathwish without a prayer"

"Because you're also important," she spit out quickly, before she could properly catch herself. She--didn't know anything other than just that. Perhaps if it had been someone else, she would have allowed him the use of her eye patch until he made a better recovery. Maybe then she could have made him something else--a more personalized one. Something from her. Something crafted by her own two hands. Rather than... letting someone keep something that was so precious to her, forever. She'd given it to him in a haste, because she didn't have the supplies or materials to help him fully, so she worked with what little she did have--and she didn't actively wear her eyepatch anymore, though she did keep it, so it seemed, to her, that he'd needed it more than she did, even if she had her own feelings about it.
    And, upon her revelation, she'd felt... more willing to let him keep it. Because, it was just as she'd said;
    He was also important.
    To her, at least.
    Akatsuki hugged her arms, still not looking at him as she buried into himself. He listed off various ideas and suggestions--things he could do for her, but she didn't find herself responding right away. She was pretty hungry, she was cold. In truth, she would have liked all of those things--even if she hunted by his side. She'd not done it, much. Most of her survival hadn't relied on killing wildlife--since on her own, there were no fires, and so there was no way for her to properly cook. She could forage--and she often did that. But meats usually were reserved for whenever she went into town and could afford a nice, warm meal provided by a chef in a tavern. She would have loved to sleep beside him, cuddled up under what blankets they'd salvaged from the tent.
    But, also.
    I'm... tired--of it being about what I want. What I want is-- she furrowed her brow, slightly, and bit her lip. I don't want some performance for my sake. I just want. You to be genuine with me--not putting on an act because you think it's what I want. You don't even know what I want, and I don't want to tell you--just to be met with. A wall. To be turned around with a clay puppet who is painted with whatever colors he thinks are most pleasing to my eyes. But if I communicated that--would it change anything?
    Memories?
    She'd turn--finally looking at him properly. A glance over her shoulder--surprise, alarm, excitement, or fear, perhaps. "Memories...?" she'd echo for a moment, before realizing herself, and quickly turning away against to hide her blush. Don't be stupid, Akatsuki. I remember plenty, now, too. I don't even know what he'd say, but. She'd want to hear it, anyway. Again, and again, and again--forever listening to his thoughts and feelings. No matter how trivial or repetitive, even if she didn't learn anything new--
    "I--" bah, she still didn't know what to say. "What I want--is. A secret. I can't tell you right now. But. I'd be willing to do... what you want." She knew how to get around the world, she wasn't too worried about taking care of herself--even if Sozin thought she was incapable of keeping herself safe. She knew her truth. Even now--she could leave and head to the next town or city, and there she could find a proper inn, restock on supplies, and... whatever else. She was happy to stay, too, though. She spent much of her time roughing the wilds--and she did not despise it. But, what she wanted--
    Was to be wanted.
    Not needed. Not pitied.
    And, so, she would try to communicate that, in her own way. "I could leave. I know somewhere I could go. Or we could go. Or I could stay here. You could stay here, or--anything, really. We could do anything. There is nothing stopping either of us. So I'll... let you decide--what you want to do. Because I... don't understand your intentions at all, and I can't understand your behavior at all, so... What... do you want to do with me?" She suspected he didn't want anything "from" her, she was uncertain if there was anything of value that she could give. But. Still--surely he had some sort of... intention? Motivation? Even if it was something simple, mundane. She just... wanted to know what he was thinking. "What... did you remember, Sozin?"

@tag | 744 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
Pink Text - Sign language
Violet Text - Common Language

Shin of GS + Adox

[Deleted]

Well. He felt appreciated - but also slighted that 'Sozin' was someone important to her, and that it was as easy as that to be one of her important people. Perhaps an oversimplification, perhaps a misunderstanding

She would do anything he wanted? He was not a lesser man and it was easy to have said that it would be sexual in nature, and yet he made zero indication of the sort - it was the furthest meandering from his mind. If anything, Akira was more hollow. How did one enunciate 'I want you to accept me?' There was no easy answer to that. She retracted into herself: and he was no fool enough, while not educated in the art of psychology as he once had, the common sign of anxiety by the way she cuddled her form.

He had even yet to get a good look at her in the dark - it was.. so dark. And so was he: illuminated by his backside by the fire in the distance. Akira would - then - take some tentative steps forward until he ended up by her tree stump, and he kneeled down onto his knees in front of her, to the side of the frozen glacial mirror she found herself using.

She was making a good effort of trying to understand him - he hadn't come for her out of lust, yet it also wasn't parental love. He hadn't appeared out of duty or sacrifice - obfuscating the easy answers. Yet - he couldn't really enunciate to her why that was. Akira wasn't even sure if he could trust her as to why he needed to say those things to her.

She was being secretive. That bothered him - even if in his subconscious he knew it was a hypocritical feeling knowing what he knew and yet feeling somewhat betrayed by her lack of trust. But they had only met 'a few times' in this body. So - it was a natural feeling. How could he bridge and mend the gap? Akatsuki quickly moved on. Did he go back to it? Did he interrupt her - or just answer her questions?

It had been easier with Azarea about his nature - because she was unknown and unimportant. A Genin... this was... scarcely the same thing. Azarea was not equal to Akatsuki. "I lived another life. Once upon a time - much younger than I was now." Was there a way he could get what he wanted without also revealing his position? This was why he didn't want to spend much time around her. Her presence made it difficult. "Adventuring - that's what I'd like to do." Did what he say tie in with what he had just been talking about? Again, his intention was unclear with her. "To help you find peace." That was better. Akui could make it all better for her - he would just have to show her the light! Not the light cast by a god who harmed her but by a god who could - would love her. "There's room in Kusagakure. I have power there. You wouldn't need to be aimless anymore."

That was good. Great! By his own standards. He could find her a home. In Kusagakure: he could make it happen... he thought. The practicality was not as easy, but with enough determination anything was possible. He could bring her closest to him - and the closer she was the less she would see.

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[Akatsuki]

 

- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -

"Deathwish without a prayer"

He approached, and Akatsuki wasn't certain what was going to happen--if he'd reach out a hand to touch her, if he was only drawing near, or what. But he walked around and crouched down in front of her, and she got a proper look at him--finally--after their conversation had started. She could have gone to him--but she'd not been sure if she should have. So.
    She appreciated that he came to her, and got down on her level.
    He still wasn't saying everything--but he wasn't lying to her, either. She... knew at least that much, as he spoke about a different life--and she didn't fully understand it. She didn't truly know what had happened, whether his memory loss was genuine or not--it was why she was trying to be patient with him. Trying to... learn. Watch. Get to the truth of it all. She didn't know all the details--and she hoped that would come with time. But she did know, somehow, that Akira was there with her. Dormant, perhaps, but not forgotten.
    Never forgotten.
    And it seemed he realized it, too. Maybe there was still something he was hiding, maybe he didn't fully know, either. She nodded, slightly, at his words--an understanding coming from her.
    She knew.
    Neither of them said anything. He'd not confessed all of the situation to her, and neither would she push him to that conclusion--he might not have known, and if he'd forgotten, there might have been a good reason for it. Many times, she wished she could forget all of the painful things from her past--and she knew Akira had suffered greatly in his. She had asked Sozin to remember--because the idea of forgetting someone had bothered her, and she hoped that if he remembered something, perhaps it might trigger one of her own memories. But she did not need Akira to remember--she didn't need him to search his mind, or have all of the answers for her. She had no intention of pushing him, or trying to force himself to recall something that was difficult or painful. There was no need for him to--she understood, better, now. Her frustration and confusion in the closeness of a stranger melted away when she recognized the behavior of a friend she'd deemed as so close.
    So, she would not tell him that she knew, just as he didn't tell her who he used to be. Maybe he didn't want to, she was sure he had his own reasons. Maybe he couldn't recall all of it--and maybe that was for the best.
    But still, even if he's like this now, and he can't remember everything with certainty, or maybe he doesn't feel like he can talk about back then--if nothing else, above all of it, somehow, for some reason, he still... She pressed her lips together to form a tight line as tears threatened the corners of her eyes. He could still remember me.
    "Hmm... Adventuring sounds nice," she spoke quietly. And she would reach out--delicately--her fingers brushing a strand of hair from his face as she offered him a weak smile. "You know, there's some places above the clouds, where the night sky is flooded with starlight and dancing colors. We could go there one day, and look at the stars." Just like they'd promised. "We could track down the best swordsmiths and see them craft their weapons in person. Or see the cherry blossoms blooming in spring." She curled into herself and laughed into her knees. "You don't have to think about me. I..." 
    There's room in Kusagakure.
    There was something about the statement--she wanted to cry. Like he was inviting her to live with him--to be close to him. He'd never offered her Iwagakure--she wasn't sure if it was out of concern for the fact that she was a nukenin, or because the thought had never crossed his mind. Perhaps it was different, now. Maybe things had changed. And maybe she was reading into it too much--but it seemed, to her, a blatant invitation back into his life. "I don't... care about your power," she'd speak quietly, looking back at him--shyly. "I don't... know if I could ever live in a village, like that... I..." She was so--against the shinobi world. But, still... "I think I'm just... not meant for that kind of life."
    She'd thought about it.
    Even with Kazutoshi--she'd thought about it.
    If she could settle down, and live happily with him there. Staying by his side and helping him protect his dream--it could have been nice, couldn't it? She did not even hate the idea of staying in one place. Yōkai knew, she did not need all of the world to be happy. She found much joy in the world--and there was great beauty to it. But happiness--for her--came from the people she loved. She could have nothing else but them by her side--and that was everything she'd ever need. And she'd thought about that, for Kazutoshi--perhaps they could have had a future like that, she'd thought.
    But it'd been nothing more than a dream.
    Just a silly, silly dream.
    It didn't seem right, to her. He... deserved better than to be stuck with someone like her.
    And so--the life of a wanderer seemed most fitting for her. Not to act on her own desires--only thinking about other people. Moving about, touching different lives--it was all she really had left to do.
    But if Akira asked her to stay--what would she do?
    She didn't care about the shinobi world. She could not, in good faith, devote herself to one village--knowing well in her heart that she would betray it again in a heartbeat if she had to make the choice between a nation or a person she loved. She'd turned her back on her home once before just to seek out her brother, and she'd have burned down all of Iwagakure in wrath of what she'd felt for Akira. It didn't seem right, to her. She didn't feel like she'd ever truly belong--not in Tori. Not in Kusa. Not anywhere in the world. It wasn't meant for her--there were some things she did not believe she was meant to have.
    But...
    An exception could be made--perhaps?
    She would never pledge loyalty to Kusagakure. She knew that. But... maybe she wouldn't need to? Was... that even a possibility?
    "I don't know." There were still... too many unknown variables.
    But it wasn't a rejection.
    Wasn't a refusal.
    Simply uncertainty.
    "Things like... a home, or a community. I'm not sure if I'm... really... suited for that kind of thing. I don't know if it's fitting for me and--" she'd look away, slightly, "I mean. If--it's just because you're worried about me or something, you don't need to be... I've... made it pretty well on my own even without those things..."

@tag | 1137 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
Pink Text - Sign language
Violet Text - Common Language

Shin of GS + Adox

[Deleted]

Akira was more than aware of his limitations and his time frame. He had what - a weeks tops, before being seen as a nukenin? He would need to delay it some by sending some letters out at the next available opportunity. One had passed, but he hadn't thought very far ahead. She had some knowledge that she wasn't sharing - and he was none the wiser for it.

The man could not go off gallivanting through the winter. He had responsibilities: but it didn't mean he couldn't entertain some travelling with her. At least as long as it was in the general direction of Kusagakure no Sato... relatively speaking. Any of the things with her sounded good: good enough. Her laugh unnerved him - it wasn't the typical response to someone being offered sanctuary.

But the secondary issue: resistance again. "There's ways. At least, enough to give you a place to stay. Somewhere warm - to keep your things, to spend your money..." there were benefits for Kusagakure: he was thinking of the angle. It was also a navigation through the blocker, because she had everything she needed on her person... but what if there was room for that to expand?

"You've got it within your hand to remove some of the pain in your life, and most would think you'd want to remove some of it?" Did she want to ensure suffering through her own life? He couldn't understand it. But, it was her view and her lifestyle. She didn't need a saviour... Akira remained there as he listened to her extrapolate why. It made more sense why she would.

But, he did have an argument for that. "It's not about just surviving. Wandering ninja - they develop relations with a village. They get contacts, missions, they don't always have to fight." She seemed to prefer the bite of the cold always nipping at her heels, or the feeling of her belly never being full. What of some of the easy joys of life? "I'm just saying, Akatsuki - there's more to life than going from crisis to crisis." It was his version, anyway.

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[Akatsuki]

 

- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -

"Deathwish without a prayer"

Somewhere warm, somewhere that she could keep her things... I already have something like that, already, she thought to herself--though she did not immediately speak. She often spent her money--renting rooms, buying supplies... then worked to earn some more. And while she did not live there day by day--she had a shrine where she could keep her things. It was somewhere warm. It had been somewhere safe, for her--while she knew not any one place was ever, truly safe. At least for a time, things had felt that way.
    But was any of that the same as a home?
    She supposed not.
    It's not like I enjoy suffering, she thought to herself as Sozin went on to give his own perspective on her situation--though he surely did not understand all of it. To him, this was an opportunity for her to make her life a bit easier--to give her something nicer, to give her something she had never had, before. And she could not argue against it--not entirely. She knew that there were likely things she could have done to make her life easier--
    --She could never have braved the world to seek out her brother, if she'd wanted to take the easy path in life.
    But she could not imagine having done anything differently. It was not in her spirit--to do simply what was easiest. She would face every horror the world had to offer, if her heart had lead her to do it. She did not enjoy the pain. She did not enjoy the loneliness, or the suffering, or the worry of never knowing if there would be a tomorrow waiting for her. But sometimes there was no other choice than to face it.
    And this--this was a choice, was it not?
    She didn't... need to continue on the way she was going. Sure--it was the only way she'd ever known. And, yes, she wasn't sure what else to do other than to keep with her old ways--but that did not mean that she needed to keep doing it. There was no real reason, anymore. She could fulfil her role with or without wandering, it was not as though she were being called without any room for denying. It was quite the opposite.
    She only wondered. She only feared--
    --That it wasn't meant to be.
    If she saw something peaceful, and wonderful and pleasant--and she reached out with both of her hands--
    --Would this be taken from her, too?
    Sozin spoke about her life--living crisis to crisis--and she nodded a little, quietly. He was wrong in some ways, and not in others. She didn't see the way she lived as being in a crisis--she felt as though all of her crisis had already passed. She had already suffered through so much--her tragic story had already come to a bloody end. She was unsure if it could possibly get any worse than it already had. But there was truth in what he said, too--the world was rife with danger, and she often found herself exposed to its cruelty and violence. If there was one thing that this life guaranteed her--it was pain. And living her life that way--from one tragedy to another--it was a miserable existence.
    She knew that.
    He didn't need to tell her. Didn't need to remind her.
    She knew.
    "I just--" she wasn't trying to argue, she wasn't trying to fight him. "I don't know--" It was the only thing she could say, for certain. She was cautious to accept his proposal, though she was thinking on it sincerely. She had thought about it many times--even before she'd met Kazutoshi, she'd thought about it. What if she had found her brother--what would her life have been like, then? Would she have settled down in one place, wherever in the world he wanted, and built her life up once more from the ashes, then? if she had stayed with Kazutoshi, would he have shared with her his home? Would they have been able to create a future with their shared hands? If she took Sozin's offer--if she was able to have a home. If she'd found a place, all on her own, even without the help of anyone else--could she actually have had such a nice thing? Would something like that even be allowed? "I'm just--" she blinked back tears as they started to form in her eyes. "I'm terrified." She bit her lip, then looked away, frowning. "There were times when--when I had everything I ever wanted." Times when she'd held her brother in her arms, or even when she'd held Akira's hand in her own--it had been so little, but she'd been so happy just to have them. A brother--a friend. Someone by her side, someone to suffer through life together, even if they had nothing else but each-other. No promise of safety, or anything else. Just their presence had been enough. It had been all she ever valued. Tears slipped down her cheek as she thought on it-- "I've held the entire world in my hands, but I'm afraid that if I hold it too tightly--everything will break apart and slip through my fingers."
    Her brother had been stolen away from her in the blink of an eye. Akira had been killed while her back had been turned.
    It was why she dared not touch Kazutoshi--no matter how she felt about him.
    Her cursed hands would damn him to misfortune.
    "It's not that I don't want to be happy, and I don't want to be safe, and I don't want to have nice things or a home or people to care about--" she did. Desperately, she did. "But there are powers greater than what my hands can fight." As much as she had tried.
    And she had tried.
    For the past decade--she'd done nothing but try.
    She had fought and warred against all that fate dictated--she had risen time and time again even when all of life beat her down into the earth. She had faced violence, and fear, and even death--and no element in the world had been enough to deter her. She had resisted it all, pushed through and carried on despite everything that tried to force her defeat. It had seemed like all of the world had wrenched her away from happiness, and for a decade she had fought--tirelessly--against it. She looked fate in the eye and gave it no quarter.
    But she could not deny that fate was cruel to her, and that she could fight it--and she could resist it so long as she had the will within her. But she could not deny that it was a powerful force. She could not deny its nature. She could not deny her relationship to it.
    She could suffer through this life alone. She could wander through the dark, her only purpose serving as a light to guide others. It was fine if she had nothing else, and if she faded away without anyone's notice. She did not want anyone to be sorry for her sake--she did not wish to be known or seen in her path. She could deal with such things--she had the strength to carry on.
    But to have those things, once more. To start putting down pieces and building up something that she cherished and held dear--something that could all be ripped away from her again in an instant.
    She didn't know if she could take it.
    Not again.
    "If you asked me to stay in Kusagakure, or Nohara no Kuni, or anywhere in the world--" she wiped away at her tears, trying to speak through her sobbing. "--I would do it. I will do it if you ask, I will do it if you would like me to. And if I build a nest and a storm comes scattering it all to the wind--I will rebuilt it, again, and again, and again. For as many times as I need to, because I have the strength to survive even despite every storm that strikes me down. But--I will still always fear when the next rain may come." She couldn't help it. For so long as she was a Kyōbō, she did not know if she could ever know anything different. It didn't matter where she went--whether she was on the roads, or nestled somewhere in a village that was hidden safely from the rest of the world. The rain would always come.

@tag | 1406 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
Pink Text - Sign language
Violet Text - Common Language

Shin of GS + Adox

[Deleted]

"Yes, we all have our deities." Akira would perhaps misunderstand her point but in his view, she was getting on the right path of righteousness. "Have faith," Even if that faith was not in his own: he could.. in time.. place her faith somewhere greater.


Akira wasn't quite sure what Sozin had done as to deserve such loyalty from Akatsuki and he didn't think the dark whispers were that powerful at this point: unless he had been playing the part all too well? But this was tremendous news. She could be that much closer to convert.

He was offering her home: sanctuary. Perhaps not as well as he had intended but her breaking into sobs and a fit of sadness? joy? It was hard to tell, that he would place his hands in her lap, facing upward: for her to take if she so desired. It was an innocent enough gesture: offering her palms. Almost... sacrificial in nature?

"Rain is every bit a nature of life, but you can make it so, in your analogy, that your nest is built on something stronger than twigs." He would stand up: and if she had taken his hands, would help her up (a bit of a pull, if anything). But if she had not taken them, or had pushed his hands away out of her own comfort: he would offer her a hand to stand up instead. "Then when the rain comes again, as I am sure it will: you can stay inside and wait it out. Come with me to Kusagakure. Please." There it was: another request.

And if the storm was too big and bad for her home to weather? Well, then she could fly off to drier lands. But - it was not without the attempt and planting the seeds... "I'm very sorry but I do need to get out of the cold."

Akira: Sozin: was not Akira. The Jinchuuriki who had steam release, the ability to exchange chakra for warmth was no more. The cold affected him and he would have preferred to get somewhere were there was warmth. But - he would need to accommodate for her... A way to bring warmth to her. That would likely manifest in ensuring she had more than enough clothing and blankets and sleeping bags to stay off the heat.

Sozin would snap his finger. He had thought of something. Because while he was trying to indoctrinate her, inside him somewhere was still the orange haired man who cared for Akatsuki. "Metal. warm up metal. Not to touch: but it radiates heat." He could: the dead shinobi a few days since having died still had metal, and lots of it. And that would be a way for him to keep her warm. Something for him to do.

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{Spoiler}Add any jutsu, relevant information here

[Akatsuki]

 

- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -

"Deathwish without a prayer"

It wasn't about deities or gods--though she supposed that the curse of her blood had once come from such an entity. And for her nest--was there really anything she could do to save herself from the heartache and trauma? Some things were out of her control--she could not force the people she loved to love her back, or to stay in her life if they did not want to be there. She could not bring someone back from the dead, she could not always fight off every threat that came her way--she knew she was strong, but she also knew she still had room to grow. Some things relied on her own power--and that was something she could control. But there were some things that she couldn't do anything to change--and that helplessness scared her the most. Sozin made it all sound so easy--but, still, his words did bring her a kind of comfort nonetheless.
    He placed his hands in her lap, and Akatsuki made no hesitation to slip her own into his palms--her heterochromatic eyes lightly scanning every line visible in his skin despite the darkness. She gently brushed his skin with her thumbs--grounding herself.
    Sozin stood, softly pleading that she join him in Kusagakure, and she rose from where she'd been seated to stand with him.
    She nodded. "I will," Akatsuki said quietly.
    There was a fear and uncertainty in the path that lay ahead--but she was willing to traverse it nonetheless.
    Sozin spoke of his discomfort with the cold--and Akatsuki cracked a grin, using one hand to dry her tears as she gave another small nod, her other still holding onto his. "You're probably not as used to it as me," she said lightly--finding humor in the situation. But she did not mind. She did not like the cold, either--so it would be good to go ahead and turn back to the camp, now. They had spoken, said what they'd needed to say, and she wasn't leaving him--so there was no reason to stand out in the cold like they were. At least, not when they could be making it easier for themselves. "Ah, but metal is really sensitive to temperature--so with how cold it is out, it'll probably cool down really quickly even if you heat it up." There was the possibility that if they gathered stones and metal they might be able to create a small kiln of sorts--just a small heater that they could fix in the center of the tent, and while there would be flame--the opening could be small, and faced away so that she didn't have to see or think about it. That could be something--or he could just stay outside with the fire, and she could stay inside on her own. Or, she supposed, there was--probably--what she'd have preferred to do, even if it was more simple and straightforward in nature. "Or we could sleep together? Underneath the blankets and sleeping bags inside of the yurt, we'd probably be able to retain our body warmth pretty well I'd think." It was easier with two people, in her mind.
    Though, of course, she wasn't thinking of anything carnal in nature.

@tag | 529 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
Pink Text - Sign language
Violet Text - Common Language

Shin of GS + Adox

[Deleted]

There was finally movement. Good. That was good. She would stand and he would follow her - still hand in hand. A strange occurrence. Akira would make a noise of agreement when she pointed out his wilderness training was... lacking. He didn't need it - it was a mundane exercise, given the power of his God. His God would satiate him but he also supposed that didn't mean that he needed to suffer as hard if it meant wearing extra layers?

He was rebuked in his idea. A fair idea, but not one that would hold.

Keeping warm outside of a fire or movement was beyond his thoughts at any given time, so it made sense when Akatsuki pointed out the obvious - heat retention. Well, she did have a point. The next alternative was rocks: but rocks that could be with water, also held a small risk of becoming fragmented projectiles in contact with heat. Like a plate too hot then too cold: it would crack. An act used for repairs: Kintsugi. Akira would admit the thought was stressful in how to cater for her and he was pulled from that with her suggestion.

What had she been suggesting? Did she do this with other people as well? It was a strange, chaotic feeling. "I don't- think of you in that? Way?" Akira was not so much confused as he was: oh, yeah, he was confused. Did she make a habit of sleeping with people - whether for warmth or not? Did she so crave the touch of another human? Now, Azarea? yes, that had been a bed he would have jumped in had the opportunity arose: but he was not so... physically motivated for Akatsuki. She was gorgeous, too - porcelain haired, fair on the eyes, soft skin albeit marked (but in a world of war and violence: was that such a bad thing?) and child bearing hips. A lot to like: but in the method that he wanted to care - did care for her, was not out of lust.

Still, skin to skin contact was alluring more now in the last few weeks than in the past year. It wasn't as though Akira thought poorly of her for the suggestion: unless she did specifically mean for the warmth? "Unless -" It did secondarily click that she might have actually on the occasion curled up with other people to retain body warmth if she had travelled for years and it was actually a survival tactic.

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[Akatsuki]

 

- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -

"Deathwish without a prayer"

He did not--think of her in that way? He seemed confused--and his confusion only brought about her own. "Why not? We have slept together, before," she spoke, uncertain. Of course, it was quite possible that Akira couldn't remember--or Sozin? She could not say for certain, but it wasn't unheard of that she slept by someone else's side--although it wasn't common. She usually traveled alone, but there were occasions when she didn't. And, during those times, she occasionally would curl up next to somebody else--whether for warmth, or to comfort them, or because she also needed comforting. She supposed it was a type of intimacy, but she could not understand why the thought perturbed him--especially if he had done so before? Had something changed, since then?
    --Well, she supposed a lot had changed, but...
    Did he really think so differently of her, now? That the idea of sleeping with her bothered him? That he could not even imagine the thought, and that the mere idea was rejected? She looked at their hands--was even that uncomfortable for him?
    Akatsuki frowned, pensive. He was confused, she was confused.
    Unless--
    It seemed to click for both of them--in opposite directions. Oh wait, that's right--in this language "sleeping" also means--
    She blushed. "Oh--no, no, I didn't--" Well--that certainly made more sense. And made her previous statements--well, all that much more embarrassing. Had she accidentally implied that the two of them had that kind of history? "I--know that we both love different people," she tried to correct, flustered. "So, I didn't mean--I didn't--I wouldn't ever ask for something like that of you, Sozin." It hadn't been something on her mind, or something she'd even thought about, really. Already, she was just happy that he was back in her life. Here, in the present, alive and breathing--that was all that she wanted. And even being able to hold his hand like this, it felt like more than she should ever have asked for. If it was just to stay warm, or for closeness, she was happy to hold him in her arms but--never would she have thought of anything more than that, and she would never have asked for something like that from him, either. It would be unfair.
    Just a few days prior, she was uncertain if he even wanted her in his life at all--she questioned what their friendship meant to him, if it had meant anything to him to begin with. So, of course she didn't think he viewed her in that kind of way--and she would never have asked for him to.
    And besides--even if things were different. Even if she wasn't already in love with someone else, and even if she viewed him in a romantic light, which her mind had not once before considered-- "I would never take advantage of you like that."
    He couldn't fully remember himself--even if he said he recovered some memories, there was no telling how much that was. And whether it was only some, or none at all--he didn't have the full picture, he didn't know entirely who he was, he couldn't remember everything. She doubted he really knew her, either. There was a power dynamic there--whether he was aware of his vulnerability or not. And Akatsuki--had been coerced, and manipulated, and had others try to take advantage of her when she was vulnerable--she would never do something like that to someone else. Especially not if she cared for him.
    "I just meant--like--actual sleeping. Or at least, like, you know--cuddled up close? To keep warm and stay safe, but--" She used to sleep with her brother in a similar way, and even her sensei, she'd curled up by his side in the past. Perhaps it was a part of her naivete, that she viewed such things in a more innocent light. "--No hidden meanings or secret intentions. Just what it is." She looked away awkwardly. "Though, truthfully, if you are not too tired right now, and if you wanted or felt you were up for it, we could probably make it to another town." Not the last one they went to--Akatsuki had no intention of going back. But she could lead them in a different direction. She knew Yu no Kuni was south of them, so perhaps if they went there instead-- "We could leave this wilderness behind us, and find an actual inn with actual beds and an actual roof over our heads?" She was not so exhausted that she thought they couldn't make it. And the night was still young--she supposed it just depended on how he felt.

@tag | 764 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
Pink Text - Sign language
Violet Text - Common Language

Shin of GS + Adox

[Deleted]

We had slept together before?


That made the hairs on his end stick up, and it made him so much more aware of his surroundings and how cold he was, that in the nape of his neck and the crook in his lower back held little cold droplets of sweat. There was an element of shock, with how blase she had been: did she know and not care? Was she being a cryptic woman? Was she testing him? Did she know anything? Was she just saying something as though she had remembered a memory that he was not a part of? Frankly, because it was the least bit of his desire to murder her - wanted to avoid the potentiality of the fight.

So he did say the same thing, but it lacked much of the original certainty and assertion, which made him sound just that much more feeble. It was a little lost on him that this wasn't her first language: and he just expected everybody to know the same one, with some difference in dialect or accent. But it was good to know. "Ah. Right, right. I see. uh.." Akira trailed off, embarrassed: it was for survival, not other reasons. She would talk first - never take advantage of him like that.

Someone, somewhere, some thing would likely smirk at the irony of that statement. And it didn't help that she would go on to explain even more - yes, he understood. Was this anxiety talking - or just trying to fill the empty space to stop it from feeling awkward. But, eventually - he would speak. "No. I'm fine with that." Did he really want anybody touching him after the several hours he had spent? When the time would come, he would definitely flinch and retract back from her touch, even if inhibited by clothing. "I don't mind." He had taken care of what he needed to and he had about a week - though, by heading to the next town, he could send some messages and extend his ... vacation. "But the cold bites," It wasn't meant to be cryptic: more literal. This was one of the more colder nights and he no longer had chakra to supplement the weak frame he had formerly inhabited.

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[Akatsuki]

 

- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -

"Deathwish without a prayer"

So, it seemed that he would have enough energy and drive to continue on to whatever next town that they went to--Akatsuki was intending to head South this time, instead of taking the path they'd last travelled. Having little interest in returning to the old temple, but knowing there were cities and towns and villages elsewhere in every direction--if only one knew how to get there.
    Which, Akatsuki had done nothing but traverse the world for the past decade.
    And she was glad of it--if he had the strength to make it to the next town over, Akatsuki was certain things would be better there. He wouldn't have to expend his time and energy hunting for himself--or both of them--and there would be a proper roof over his head, significantly less risk of freezing to death in their sleep. Less worry about wildlife or other dangerous creatures...
    Of course, Akatsuki knew that civilization had its own dangers as well--but she was less worried about that for the pair.
    She'd only have to extinguish the fires that Sozin had started, and then they could be on their way...
    "Are the clothes that you have now not warm enough?" Akatsuki inquired, noting how he pulled away from her touch. It hurt--but she would not fight his withdrawl, and decided not to pick a fight. She had her priorities set in different order. Of course, even with all the layers of warm clothing in the world--the cold was cold and nigh inescapable. Discomfort was bound to be ensured--though she wondered and worried if he was at risk of greater exposure due to lack of proper gear and apparel. If he had not had enough warm clothes to keep him safe--just how had he been getting on for the past couple of days while she'd been waiting for him?
    Just what had he been doing all this time?
    "We can grab more things if you need--sleeping bags that could be used like a cloak, extra layers to wrap around your hands and feet even if they're not proper gloves--" she just wanted to make sure that he would be alright. Even if he looked like a large creature constructed of fabric and blankets--so long as he wouldn't die, it didn't matter how silly it might have looked. At least in her eyes.
    Not everyone was as lucky or well-prepared to brave the cold, dressed in clothing that served to stave off the cold while still looking nice, too.
    Even if she didn't look cute or pretty--her clothes were certainly those of an adventurer, and she thought adventurers were pretty cool, too. And most importantly, of course--aside from being dark in color to help hide in the shadows and travel unnoticed at night, each layer was lined with warm fleece--which certainly helped. It was certainly better than cotton, and whatever else poor Sozin was probably wearing.

@tag | 481 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
Pink Text - Sign language
Violet Text - Common Language

Shin of GS + Adox

[Deleted]

"In this weather, I'm not sure any clothing is warm enough..." He didn't know how he survived when he hadn't been a Jinchuuriki, because wearing too much clothing was bad for fighting: and wearing too little was no issue for him when he had been one. But now, it was like training a new born again - and he didn't like it. There was still the concern of whether he'd done enough or if Akatsuki knew of who he really was... but he was playing it by ear, and keeping her close to him.

Akira nodded. "Yes. Good idea." They could grab a few more things from in the tent just in case. Akira would put out the fire, throwing some snow from the outside of the tent expertly over the fire on the inside. Yes, it took more than a few attempts considering fire was hot: but it would eventually be quelled. But they could get going. It required a bit of knifework to make the sleeping backs into something that would fit over his body, and he looked like a puffy refuse bag but it had done the intended role of keeping him alive.

"I look like a catapillar." Akira would comment to himself. It was clear he wasn't happy about the situation but it was what needed to be done in order to survive. "What makes you say that we slept together? Before?" Akira wanted to ask. It would give him a direct answer, he supposed... he hoped.

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[Akatsuki]

 

- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -

"Deathwish without a prayer"

Akatsuki grinned a little at Sozin's complaints. "Oh, it's not that bad," she said light-heartedly, trying to keep his spirits high. Of course, it was cold. She couldn't deny that. And she was aware that frostbite was just as deadly a threat in thirty-degree weather as it was in negative thirty. And any time there was snow, there was bound to be trouble. Nature was a beautiful thing--but often deadly in all of its wonder, Akatsuki had learned. Still, even so. "Up in the North, there are some places where it's so cold it's almost impossible to stay warm without doing something drastic like setting yourself on fire." She smiled lightly at him. "We will be okay. We'll also warm up some by moving around, so it should get better soon."
    When they moved back toward the campsite, Akatsuki helped pile snow into the flames that Sozin had created. A part of her felt bad about it--he'd likely worked quite hard to set the fires up. If she had just been normal--they could have spent the evening enjoying it's warmth. They could have cooked a meal for themselves, and fallen asleep in the comfort of their own creation with complete independence from the rest of the world. It would have been nice. Countless times, had she wished she could do such a thing with the same level of ease. That, even in the winter, she could take care of herself with little trouble--if only she didn't have that cursed affliction with fire.
    Life certainly would have been easier, she liked to think.
    They would get moving soon enough--Sozin fashioning something out of the blankets he could find. She looked at him and laughed lightly at his joke, nodding in agreement. "You do," she confirmed. Her light-hearted spirit would darken for a moment when he asked his question, however, and for a brief time, Akatsuki did not know how to answer him. She'd place a hand along the strap of her satchel as she walked, her attention on the ground as she began to lead them once more through the dark forest. "Ah, well." She wasn't sure how to put it. "Because we have?" That was the truth--something she recognized.
    Still, she was certain that he didn't know what she was talking about.
    How could he?
    In her spirit--she recognized him. Her heart knew him when her eyes deceived her, and it had taken her some time to come to that revelation--but from the first instance that they'd met, he'd been stirring memories within her. The way he spoke, the way he walked, the words he chose, the lift in his voice and how he pronounced things--to the very manner he would speak to her, and his actions toward her. They were all so familiar despite wearing an unknown face. It was not enough to jump to a wild conclusion--but at this point, it had become undeniable to her that, somehow, someway... Akira was with her.
    She didn't fully understand it. She didn't know all the details--of course she didn't. She couldn't have.
    But she did know that one, single thing.
    And how could she explain that to him? He said, himself, that he had recovered some of his memories--so amnesia still likely plagued him a great deal. She couldn't tell what he remembered, what he knew--if he even knew himself. Truly. Still, she somewhat doubted that he even really knew her.
    She still likely seemed as a stranger to him--and having a stranger suddenly seem so familiar was... well, she could understand his alarm or discomfort--if he felt any at all.
    "When we met in Kuwana, you said that we'd met before," she recalled, glancing at him for a moment before returning her attention to the path ahead. "And that was true. Even if I didn't recognize you at first, you weren't wrong. And, if you've suffered with amnesia as much as you seem to have, I don't blame you if you don't remember much of me, either. So, you probably don't remember that time at all." She blushed, slightly. "But not to worry--I meant actual sleeping, then, too. It was innocent, I promise--I didn't mean anything to you," she added with a small laugh.

@tag | 704 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
Pink Text - Sign language
Violet Text - Common Language

Shin of GS + Adox

[Deleted]

He was familiar with Yuki no Kuni: so cold there wasn't any moisture, and just breathing - well, that would cause icicles to form. Even with his steam technique, heating himself up caused ice to develop around his body. He nodded. "Sounds fine."

Still, it didn't ease his mind when she reconfirmed what he had heard. Was that so? Akira would look at her blankly, searching for anything in her eyes that might've indicated maliciousness. But - she was saying it so matter of factly that those orbs of his watched her. She elaborated. It could have been either she simply remembered of a person long past, as she had been grasping at straws to remember him, or she truly knew it and wasn't saying so.

He felt like he might've been steering closer to showing mercy and had to pick his path particularly closely. But if she knew him: truly, there was weakness to exploit. There was a memory to exploit. "I'm glad you remember." Akira felt more comforted from his teachings. He was also being nondescript about his own knowledge of the situation, since two people could play that game. Rather than being mildly offended at the way she'd phrased it then as well. But it depended on what she was actually getting at.


Another aspect to consider, was that it wasn't as though from everything Akira remembered about her for her to be self centred. Survivalist, yes... but not self centered. All of those historic clues, including how she was acting now was innocent. And for now he would take it as that. "Let's try and find a place. Preferably away from where we came." It had been several hours in a direction so there was little issue with their safety here. Akira would readjust his eye patch given to him, as it was starting to pull off his face and he needed to put it back on there.

It was - on the bright side as Akatsuki had suggested warmer. Even if it came with drawbacks. Trying to get through the dimness and darkness was bad enough and doing it with one eye was worse. So he was slower in response - this would only need to last for a while anyway.

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