blood upon the snow

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blood upon the snowFeb 23, 2023 15:33:15 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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age 24 years old birthday October 16 rank B-Ranked occupation
 
- THIS IS THE END OF ALL HOPE -
"Deathwish without a prayer"

Sozin wouldn't be able to find any malice or animosity when he searched for it in her eyes. There was something there--a melancholy, for certain, and despite how often she wore her heart on her sleeve, it would be more difficult to tell what she was thinking, this time. Whether she had him all figured out and was keeping it a secret, or she truly had met "Sozin" before and was referring to something she'd experienced with him in the past... he wouldn't have any way of knowing. After all--if she had discovered his secret, what reason would she have not to tell him? He wouldn't likely be able to guess.
    And, of course, if he was so worried about her finding out--it wouldn't be safe for him to keep prying. After all, if she didn't know--he wouldn't want to give her any ideas, right?
    Still, she would take his words at face-value. He was glad that she remembered, and she'd give a weak smile in response.
    I'm not.
    At least, she wasn't as certain. Maybe things would have been easier if she hadn't realized it. Or if she didn't "remember".
    "I'll lead us South, then~" Akatsuki would return lightly. She knew the way, and she wanted to get them out of this cold and snow just as much as he did.


----

Akatsuki would be quiet for most of the journey there, and the two were likely too cold, too tired, and too uncomfortable to try having any deep conversations, anyway. If she hadn't been tired from the time of day it was, she'd grown exhausted by the emotional turmoil he'd put her through. The good, and the bad--it all took a toll on her. So, she was likely just as excited as he was to get a proper place to rest.
    They'd make it into town after Akatsuki guided them across the border--and immediately the town appeared quite welcoming. Well-constructed traditional buildings, paved roads, plenty of plants, trees, and other garden work that seemed quite taken care-of. Even in the dark of the evening, lanterns illuminated the paths, and despite the late hour there still seemed to be plenty of life by visitors and the locals through the town.
    "Alright~" Akatsuki spoke with a sigh of relief. "We've made it! Now we've just got to find an inn or something like that. Sozin, help me look around, would you?" she'd ask nicely. Hopefully we can find somewhere that has a shower so I can get this blood off of me and actually wash my clothes, too. Of course, considering how dark her clothing was--it wasn't all that jarring upon first glance, but she'd still rather not alarm people. And she'd just rather not be covered in blood, too. It was unpleasant all in all.

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blood upon the snowMar 2, 2023 11:40:04 GMT -5
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Even in her woe, Akira would not be able to gather it beyond her initial look, which couldn't give adequate description of what was beneath the surface. Without anything to go off, it was probably better than not that he actually watched her for a while. Ensure his own safety, first.

Akira did wonder, however, if it was always going to be like this. His own dismay at the situation: someone he knew being so ... dismissive of her for his own needs. Well. It wasn't his needs. The needs for servitude, sure.

"Sounds good." It would leave him between the silences and the vague conversations for him to mull about the situation and if there was anything he even needed to do at this point in time, but he kept Akui on his mind -




Even as time had passed they did eventually get themselves somewhere. In honesty, Akatsuki was mostly leading this one. Akira had followed the route he'd been - had she moved, then they definitely would not have ended up in the same place. It was quaint, and a bit nicer than some of the other villages he'd been - in Tsuchi no Kuni there had been some areas of superb deprivation while the very rich suck all of the life out of the area. He didn't like them that much, even through another life. At least that much was the same.

When asked to find an inn - Akira would point. "There." In the distance was the tell-tale sign of the outward facing sign hanging from the afts of the external of the building. Search over. Akira would nudge her shoulder as he walked by her, with his own hand - a sort of 'I'm walking. Come along.' type of movement. His hunch had been correct, and they walked into an inn. The staircase was right there in the foyer - the reception beneath it and dim lanterns keeping the place warm. There was the noise of a fire, but if they got a room it wouldn't have been her concern.

They looked between Akatsuki and Sozin - Akira in his own puffy self, more akin to a caricature of himself. "Well prepared?" They were monotonous, but objectively funny at the comment. "Very funny." Akira was more mentally frayed than physically tired and even the non-stop walking hadn't completely stopped the biting nature of the cold tonight. He would move on. "Let's get a room for a night, please." It was all he could afford, realistically: by himself? He wouldn't have needed to stop or rest. It was good to rest, purely from a mental perspective since he was still human, but

"Money now. Key there - check out is before midday." They would run through the standard procedure, what one could or couldn't do, but that was about it before a long mortice key. All too typical of their situation. And, then - the door would click behind them and they'd be in a room together.

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blood upon the snowMar 2, 2023 12:36:24 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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age 24 years old birthday October 16 rank B-Ranked occupation
 
- we sang of the grief-
"Your very voice is in my heartbeat, sweeter than despair"

Thankfully with Sozin's help, it wasn't long before the two did manage to get to an inn. The innkeeper gave a half-hearted joke at Sozin's expense, and Akatsuki grinned cheekily. "Not at all!" But the jokes fell to the wayside and the duo paid for the room before heading up. See how nice this is? Sooooo much nicer than a tent out in the freezing cold, Akatsuki thought to herself, uncertain if she should say it aloud or not. Sozin probably realized it, now, and even if he didn't say anything she was sure he probably appreciated having an actual roof over his head.
    Or would he?
    She supposed it was possible that some people truly would prefer the viscous experience of nature.
    Well, either way, they were here now. If he really wanted to camp out in the forest, she was sure there would be other opportunities for him.
    Akatsuki gave a sigh of relief when the door was closed behind them. "So nice~" she breathed with a smile, starting to take off her boots to leave them by the door before she began to undress. She took off her cloak, first, and then some of her outer, warmer layers. "I'm going to go shower first," she said, holding her bundle of clothing in one arm, using her spare hand to remove her belt and set her katana down against a wall with gentle care. "But I'm also going to wash my clothes, so I may be a little bit. Then you're free to use it after, okay?" Akatsuki asked for permission but, really, unless he gave strong protest or had some extreme reason why he needed to shower first, she was just going to go ahead anyhow. Ladies first! Or some silly saying like that.
    And, so long as he didn't have any issue with it, Akatsuki would do just that. She'd take her belongings with her to the bathroom--her toothbrush, soaps, shampoo, and a spare set of clothes. And with the door closed and locked behind her she'd fully undress and start with her shower, leaving the rest of her belongings in her satchel in the bedroom. It felt nice to finally get the blood out of her hair and off her skin, and while she wouldn't hop back into her warm clothes immediately after she washed them--they'd need to dry, of course--starting off a journey with fresh clean clothes was always one of the best feelings.
    She'd come out after a while, a soft humming on her lips from the song she'd been singing while she'd worked. Dressed in a white night gown, she'd be brushing her hair as she exited and reentered the room. "All yours~" she announced.
    The bathroom, of course.

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blood upon the snowMar 2, 2023 13:04:42 GMT -5
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Sozin had uncovered his own things - putting them in the corner of the room. Unlike Akatsuki's approach which had been measured, he had pulled them off and dropped them - because they were trash in reality that only served half its purpose.

"Take your time." She deserved the amenity - one that she might not have had in a while, though he didn't think she had never been to one as a wanderer. Money came in drips and drabs, and sometimes it was stolen out of one's hands, much like he had on another mission. By the time he could have got himself comfortable, she had already gone in and the sound and smell of steam - the moisture like the petrichor of a summer evening.

Speaking of warmth, it was much warmer: though there wasn't a direct fire into the room they were somehow getting a good warmth from the other rooms, and some sort of convection system that he noticed from the corner at the top right hand corner of a room. But the time alone gave him pause, and he crossed his arms as he was silent - staring out of the window. There had been so much movement in the engine - in his cogs, in his mind, that he hadn't accounted for the slow moments to process. Even there in his hand as it was lightly moving his fingers, wondering if steam would just magically come from them like he had been before.

Now that it was quiet beyond Akatsuki's form behind the doors and being pattered by water, he kept running his own hands across his body. The faint memory of his ... everything. There had been thought and thinking been done on his journey back, but he had managed to keep his mind mostly empty on account of muscle memory: to focus on his breathing, his running. Akira remembered who he was. Large portions of his memory - all... clicked. He'd had them, but how he hadn't known it was him. That was - the feeling of being entombed by Doton. Then back. Then like his soul was being drained through a sieve. Then back - and had died several more times in the last day - he had already lived several lifetimes. Death.... death didn't bother him anymore - but never had he been felt like that. Pain was like a faint buzz - and his throat was dry as he tried to swallow.

When she did finally return she would have found him by the window having pulled up a chair and staring out of that same window rather than standing, not that there was too much to see but the lights around the rest of the street and the occasional passer-by. He didn't even recognise that she had come out - one of his legs jogging up and down on the spot with his arms remaining crossed. In his own world. It seemed in any life - he was always going to be a thinker.

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blood upon the snowMar 3, 2023 14:54:16 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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age 24 years old birthday October 16 rank B-Ranked occupation

 
- we sang of the grief-
"Your very voice is in my heartbeat, sweeter than despair"

Akatsuki slowed to a stop when she got no response from Sozin--initially worried that something was wrong. But, from what she could tell--well, she couldn't discern if he was thinking about something stressful or bad or just had some other plot on his mind but--he wasn't on the floor passed out and he didn't seem to be in poor physical shape. He hadn't had a heart attack all of a sudden while she was gone, and as she drew nearer and looked at his skin--from his fingertips to his exposed neck and his face as well--there didn't seem to be any signs of frostbite, either, which was good.
    So whatever the situation was--if it was good, bad, or neutral--at least it seemed to be confined to simply whatever he was thinking about. His brows were narrowed slightly in concentration, and his attention of his surroundings seemed dulled as his focus was elsewhere--just as it often was whenever he got deep in thought. But he was still stoic, in a way--and it was difficult to know if he was thinking something negative or not.
    Ah... I'm sure he's got plenty of negative things to think about, though, Akatsuki thought to herself. Chances were, if she had to take a guess, it probably wasn't good. Still, if I asked if he was alright, would he answer? Would he lie and say everything is fine? If he need to talk to get something off his mind, I'm happy to listen to whatever his problems are but--how can I get him to trust me? Her expression softened slightly. If his memories are limited--does he trust me anymore? Did he ever even trust me to begin with?
    Well, there had been the times when he'd talked to her about things he'd been haunted by, before. The situation with his most beloved friend who he had fallen for, the frustrations of being expected to move on from such a person so quickly... the regards of his village and how he was perceived--training, wondering what it meant for him and his life and his path ahead. His struggles with his emotions, and even his identity.
    No, surely. Even if he was often reserved, and even if he didn't tell her everything, and even if Akatsuki never really knew what he was thinking--there had been trust, before.
    And if she'd earned it once, before, she could establish it once again. Even if it took time, even if they were starting from the ground up.
    They could rebuild.
    Akatsuki slid a chair over to where Sozin was seated--making sure to drag it with enough noise that he might be alerted of her presence. Though, if he'd been so lost in thought, before, perhaps he still wouldn't notice even when she got closer to him. Still, nonetheless, she'd bring it over and placed it nearby him. She turned the chair around, then straddled it as she took her seat--folding her arms on top of the backrest. "What's on your mind?" she'd ask. Perhaps that was a good start. No expectations of good or bad, just an open invitation to vent.

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blood upon the snowMar 3, 2023 17:26:28 GMT -5
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There were so many other thoughts as well while the sensory memories played, dancing across his skin as a reminder - as more time went by, the more fuzzy the exact pain would feel. Felt. Did he lie to her? It had been so easy before, and he would maintain that. But some of them were clear as day: and it felt like he had a renewed sense of respect for science and human biology.

Yes, he had meant it when he believed he wouldn't tell her with self preservation above all else, that was a driving force for him. But, self preservation could manifest in other ways: selectively revealing the truth. Manipulating the truth. All such things that his God would be appeased by... ultimately, his own goal was about maintaining his position in Kusagakure... even if the other two were Nukenins - he'd been chosen because he was in a position unique to serve them, and Akira was afraid they'd take it away if he was found out.

Maybe it wasn't for him to interpret his God's will? That was for the Harbinger. 'Brain.' Akira would attempt to communicate. There was no response yet - and that likely meant the Brain was dealing with something more important, and they were sparse in their communications to begin with, let alone what had taken place over a day prior. He didn't like the idea but... he could have used guidance.

Akira could still bring the truth to the world, through chaos, irrespective of his village - it wasn't like the Harbinger had direct, and he was a mortal. He had been found in Akui's favour, it was how he had become one of the three pillars - had he been attributing it to the wrong thing?

He was interrupted from his thoughts and the memories pooling around him when his head sharply moved at the scraping noise across the floor, Akatsuki having come from the shower and finished - she had been kind enough to make him aware of her presence and for that he offered a small, tiny smile. Time had gone by so fast.

When she sought a glimpse behind his eye(s) and into his thoughts the man didn't respond: his voice caught in his throat, as he deliberately stared at her without a word as he searched her expression yet again, another mini test like the several times he had before - watching her come to a seat. "Memories are returning to me. Slowly." He took a deep breath in, and out. Though - he had never seen just how scarred she was. His near honeyed brown orb(s) dotted across her clavicle, like reading a book. In this case the book was on history and suffering. Akira had seen her arms in time past, but she was more scarred than she let on.

Still, a half lie was better than the truth right now - even if he was starting to lean on the side of telling her. Had he changed radically? No. But, he wasn't going to do more than necessary and if he was able to figure out that she in fact was lying to herself and her own memory of Sozin - then he wouldn't unnecessarily cause himself issue. "But perhaps I'm just tired." He was not in fact tired, and none of the behaviours and mannerisms that people would do, from yawn to drooping eyelids: would be seen from him. "How was the shower?"

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blood upon the snowMar 4, 2023 4:40:25 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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age 24 years old birthday October 16 rank B-Ranked occupation

 
- we sang of the grief-
"Your very voice is in my heartbeat, sweeter than despair"

For a short while the two would be locked in a gaze, Sozin searching tirelessly for--something, she didn't know what--in her expression. But there was only latent curiosity--as she tried to study and figure him out, for herself. Just as she'd intended to. Even with a revelation, there were still so many questions she had for him. But none of them were pressing--she would much rather stay in the moment. Her answers would come eventually, so she wasn't worried about it.
    He gave an answer to her, though, slowly. His memories were returning to him--bit by bit. Little by little...
    "Ah, I see." She wondered what kind of memories were returning to him--if she should pry and ask more about it, or if not... A part of her felt bad about the whole thing--she wondered if he was forcing himself to think about things from the past just because she'd asked about it, before... Really, she didn't want him to remember if it was just going to cause him pain. But could he even help it, really? The mind was a fickle thing--she certainly couldn't control the things she remembered or not, it would be foolish to expect him to be able to.
    Akatsuki caught his stares, and while he didn't make any comment, she pulled the top of her gown up slightly--a weak attempt to conceal more of her skin from him.
    Is he staring at my boobs or at my scars? She blushed slightly, looking away. Probably my scars, right? He's never seemed bothered about them, before, but I guess these are probably new to him so I guess it makes sense he'd notice. Plus if he can only remember seeing me in winter clothes, I guess my skin is probably pretty shocking. She wouldn't call it out, and instead carried on the conversation without acknowledging her awkward feeling. "You might be," she replied. "I've heard it said that 'a heart is a heavy burden'..." She smiled gently. Of course, he didn't look tired, but... "There's all kinds of memories I wish I could forget. I suppose I envy you in that way... I'm sure that you've been through some pretty horrible things; having to remember things like that would weigh anyone down, I think."
    She wasn't sure what to tell him.
    Talking about it might be able to help--but sometimes having a distraction was the kindest thing.
    "It was really nice~" she answered with a smile. "You should probably take one too! Maybe it'd help get some things off your mind, and if nothing else at least you could enjoy the warm water after being out in the cold for so long, yes?" It was an idea, she supposed. Maybe it'd help him. Or, perhaps he'd decline. Either way.

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blood upon the snowMar 4, 2023 21:01:03 GMT -5
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The evening had set in and all that remained outside of the dark were the candles of light, burning away as the wax left it - dripping out onto the floor of dirt, or into people's porches. Even there, Akira could smell a sort of... dryness, perhaps from the floorboards? Humidity too - from the shower. He would jar a window open very slightly.

Akira averted his eyes when she pulled at her own clothing: a sign of discomfort - and he was aware to the tell enough to be kinder to her and did just that. Still, she would come out with great advice and conversation as per usual. He looked down. She had taken his invitation to move on with the conversation though, and he was thankful for it.

The Herald would get up and make his way over to the bathroom. "See you soon." and the door would close behind him. The first was the eyepatch, carefully taken off and placed on one of the many sides they had available. Then his clothes - it was still a bit humid from the area, and clothing that yet needed to dry. Akira would start a shower but yet made no move to get into it.

It was... the feeling of thousands of needles on him, from the shower: it was ... he wasn't sure if he could do it. Akira would first place a hand under it, flinching as he did so. But, having retraced his hand back he returned to try again.

The steam and the patter - as he held his hand over it and closed his eyes it was... not at all like what it had been in that torture chamber. 'Arm?' The Brain finally responded. The noise finally made Akira step into the shower, and the sound would change as the drips became more prominent against a porcelain floor. 'The situation we spoke about before. I need advice?' There was silence as the Arm guessed that the Brain was either happy, smug, or laughing at the failure that he was. 'Yes?' Was the response. Akira would run his hands through his hair, trying to not outwardly react to how the warmth felt icy in comparison to how his body had been set afire. 'What does our Lord make of mortals?' Again. More silence, as he waited for a response - laid his back against the cold tile, seating himself down to let the water batter against his body. It was colder down there.

'I have no time for riddles, Arm. Say what it is you want to know.' There was a sharpness to their voice. Akira would outwardly sigh. This was... self preservation at bay. 'Did I become a Herald because of this body or because of who I am?' This time produced less silence. 'I don't know and I don't care. Don't contact me for pithy things like this.' The man ran his tongue on the inside of his mouth. This was unhelpful. Why had he even bothered?

But, the Brain did respond. 'You were chosen because you were not found in wanting, or you would have been sat with one of the abominations. Our Lord has their plans, and you would be wise to hasten your agreeability when it comes. We do not question the Lord. That is all I need to know, Satori Akira.' and he felt a bit better for it...

Akira would have the rest of his shower and get out, and similarly to her be dressed in a white robe: it was a dry and scratchy material that he deigned was so it dried off the person wearing it... but it would do. It could almost be called better than his own clothing. But, he looked down on the side, having placed down the eyepatch earlier that she had given him. Staring down at it - pulling his hair out of the front of his face, as strands were coming from all around him. After thought, he did put it back on his head, and he exited the room to her again.

Provided that she was sat down still, or comfortable on the bed, he'd either sit back down or pull the chair toward her so he could sit down again, and crossed his legs. Until he had her attention, he would wait. And when he did - "Akatsuki." Akira would ask for her attention, his voice sharper and deeper. His heart was pounding through his chest, and his heart felt like it was caught in his throat.

And with that, he pulled the blindfold off and he put it in his lap, revealing a completely fresh and unharmed eye. "I think you know who I am," Akira was very cautious of his expression - no folds in his eyebrows as to indicate suspicion, to make her as comfortable as possible, because the last thing he wanted to do was to try and smother her with a pillow from the room. "But I need you to tell me who I am, so that I know I'm not imagining it." He hadn't started to disintegrate yet - which was a good thing. Not immediately anyway, but he knew he was being watched. This was a herald at work first, and a human with a history second.

He hadn't said it out loud properly yet. And he was asking her to. Say it.

She could've played with it and reminded him he was Junichi Sozin, Councillor of Kusagakure and he could easily lie about his religious abilities, being an 'enforcer' for peace. And he was, to a degree - but she didn't need to know the details.


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blood upon the snowMar 5, 2023 11:59:05 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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- we sang of the grief-
"Your very voice is in my heartbeat, sweeter than despair"

Akatsuki greeted him lightly when he returned from his shower. She had moved her chair closer to the window so that she could gaze out to the town outside while she waited, one palm catching her cheek with her elbow propped against the windowsill. Even though it was dark and there wasn't much to see, it had been something to do while she waited and thought. Sozin returned to his seat near her, and he'd have her attention quickly enough--his serious expression quick to draw her concern.
    His voice sounded grim--deeper, and more intense than it usually was. But it was a familiar tone--the resonance more closely resembling what she recognized. She wondered for a moment if he was upset at her--what had caused the change? But as she moved her hands into her lap, it seemed less that was the case.
    Sozin began to remove the eyepatch, and Akatsuki's eyes widened.
    Ah, he... How was that possible? When the medical ninja had healed his wounds, had their powers been stronger than they'd realized and he'd regenerated an eye, too? Was his eye actually just wounded and not missing entirely..? No, it was gouged out completely--I know it was. She didn't understand--but she supposed there could be all kinds of explanations as to how it'd happened, even if it was unlike anything she'd seen, before. More amazed than suspicious, whatever had been the reason, she supposed it didn't change anything. Regardless of what had caused it--he was fine, now.
    She supposed that was the only thing that mattered.
    "I think you know who I am."
    His words rung through the air, and it felt like the whole world went still. But he needed to know with certainty.
    Slowly, Akatsuki would nod her head--just a little, and averted her gaze. "I do." He wasn't imagining it. She knew. "I... recognized you from your voice. The... way that you speak, the manner that you talk to me--even the kind of words you use. From how you treat me, to how you're always so reserved, and even your footsteps and how you hold your body, I... I recognized you long before I even understood why." And it'd bothered her. It was why--before she'd come to the realization of it--she'd disliked being around Sozin so much, even if she'd tried to be polite and hide it. "Even if my eyes can be deceived, my heart would know you anywhere..."
    She looked at him, a tinge of shame on her expression, though she offered a gentle smile.
    "You're my friend. And I've only ever had one."
    Not Sozin. Akira.
    But the way he posed his question--she didn't think the name mattered. He would always be himself, and he was more than a name and a face to her.

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blood upon the snowMar 5, 2023 15:57:03 GMT -5
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Initially, his initial game plan had been to enforce the name on him: so that there was no level of interpretation and has her words danced in his mind he became disarmed. Akira smiled a little bit. This was all being put together so on the fly. His throat was dry and it was all a bit quiet, which he filled with the rap of the end of his heel on the floor.

That, and to take a look at his mannerisms with a fine comb - if she was putting it together, all of the other people he'd interacted with in any capacity could as well. That was not good enough. He was not good enough. Right there - normally, his eyebrow would furrow in thought but Akira stopped it before it took place. Perhaps that meant for the time being to just freeze up at his core, and change everything he had once been. But - he wasn't going to be so... rash.

"You can't tell anybody, ever. The name you know is dead." But, he at least owed her an explanation.

The Arm of God, was not rash. Not anymore. This was measured. The way she spoke of him, of who he was - with such familiarity that went beyond who Sozin was or who had been. His tongue ran around one side of his mouth. Bitter - "Once, a Shinobi. Another life given, a devout." The beat in his chest was still steady, but he finally leaned back. "My physical body degraded in Iwagakure no Sato and the body I had was borrowed. I was leaving the elemental nations - and I died in Kaze no Kuni a second time, what was borrowed was taken back, because I broke the rules to protect the woman I had loved." Skipping over the part where he had been placed into an unwilling subject. "Sozin -" he gestured to himself. "Departed the world suddenly, and I was thrust into this body to follow a different path. Still on the path of peace, but something that was no longer physical... only, I was there to perform and take on the sin so that others do not, and it comes at a cost." A fabricated lie: but one that had been ever so practised. They did have a religion that was based on peace. He was no longer something 'physical' if one wanted to be technical. Akatsuki was one of the fewer people that both followed a religion and the understanding of personal cost - the cost of her own fire.

"And as something that was human once, I still remember the feeling of self preservation. There is no technique, no skill that a mortal has that can overwhelm a God's. At first, I was disoriented - Yoko was there to guide me to begin with, but I wasn't the person she thought I was. Then came the Shinobi of the Fields, and their good natured will took me in - the councillor, they called me. Then the tests, and I claimed to have memory loss. It was the only thing I could have." And yes - his tone did indicate that of an empty threat to anybody who would threaten it, even if apparently the biggest threat was himself at this point by being too much of who he was. "They tore around my insides - they were mine now, but they wanted to check for interference. There had been evidence of damage - I was checked for Fuinjutsu... had my memories probed. But, mortals don't have the techniques that can overwhelm a God's." He sniffed, feeling moisture developing, and he cleared his throat of mucus.

"I have been clawing, and scrambling, to survive. Don't deprive me of that." For intents and purposes: He had been given the best disguise of them all. One that was fool proof, for as long as he wasn't a fool... and Akatsuki kept her mouth shut. Akira hoped she would understand that need for safety - someone who lacked it from her own travels. "I have been stuck between self preservation and mastery of self. From running from my past to embracing my present. It has not been easy. Do you have any questions?" It was clear at this point that he was still clinging to self preservation and he wanted more than nothing else to feel safe in his room - and his situation that he was sharing with her.

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blood upon the snowMar 6, 2023 2:57:07 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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age 24 years old birthday October 16 rank B-Ranked occupation
 
- we sang of the grief-
"Your very voice is in my heartbeat, sweeter than despair"

Akatsuki stared as he spoke, his choice of words hurt. Dead. She didn't want to think of anything about him in that way. But she understood his message, even if there were elements to it that were difficult for her to grasp. There was much to the shinobi world that she didn't understand--it's rules, systems, values, structure, and culture--but she did understand what he was asking of her, and that was all she needed. She knew the truth--the discovered reality that she had come to realize, and if he didn't want anybody else to know his old identity, she would keep it. Nobody else needed to know.
    It would be a hidden truth, sacred between them.
    Just as so many times, before, he had listened to her speak, she listened to him. Without fail, she captured every word that spilled from him as he relayed the past accounts leading up to this moment, and she felt her heart break for him. He had suffered through so much. Hardship, pain, suffering, and even death. He looked at her with a kind of desperation in his eyes--a quiet plea that she not deny him the life he had fought so hard to keep despite every odd stacked against him. Akatsuki rose from her seat and quietly walked over to him, her gaze gentle on his features as she stood in front of where he was. Gingerly, she cupped his face in her palms. "You're really something else, aren't you?" She smiled lightly, a tinge of sadness in her heterochromatic eyes. "You know... I don't really consider myself human, either."
    There was much about her religion that he didn't know or understand--and likely he never would. But even so, it was something that she felt she could understand in him. Her religion was constituted for outcasts; those who were rejected and scorned by the rest of the world and who could not find their homes anywhere else. For they who were denied their humanity, or seen and treated as monsters--then so be it. The Yōkai would love and cherish them for who they were, even if the rest of the world denied them kindness. Akatsuki saw herself as something other than just a physical body. She was a spirit. A soul. A flame. When she became an Aspect of the Yōkai, this truth only solidified in her.
    She admired humans, and held much affection for them in her heart. But even as she walked among them with a mortal body, she did not consider herself to be the same. As a Kyōbō, she wondered if she'd ever qualified.
    "You and I... we've both been through so much, haven't we?" Her expression softened. "You've been through so many horrible things that no soul should ever have to endure. And you have survived despite it all." Of course she would not deny him that. But if he asked such a thing of her--it was possible, that even if he said he'd only been telling other people he'd lost his memories, that perhaps he actually had. Maybe he truly hadn't remembered much of her at all. "When you told me that you were recovering your memories, I don't know if that was a lie or not. I don't know if you actually remember me at all, or if I fell to the wayside in your mind. But even so, let me tell you this." She took a deep breath. "You and I are not bonded by the light. When we met, you were hated and feared for something that was not your fault, and I understood your pain because I was the same. You and I have been through all kinds of awful, terrible things. Heartbreak, anguish, despair, fear, anger, pain, solitude... It is in every horrible thing that we have suffered that we are bonded closer together."
    It wasn't pleasant, but it was the truth.
    There had been many who had been kind to her, before. She had others who had saved her life. Who had been friendly. Who had given her things, and made her promises. But not one of them had meant to her what Akira had.
    "And that bond is stronger than you know. Strong enough that I don't even think anything could break it." Not even death, it seemed. Not amnesia. Not heartbreak. Not even the gods. "A long time ago, you offered your friendship to me and taught me what companionship looked like. You told me that even if you couldn't take away my suffering, even if we couldn't fix each-others' problems, if nothing else, we could suffer through it together. I don't know if our friendship meant anything to you, but there was a time when you were all I had left in this world to cherish. I still want everything you told me about." Her eyes were dotted with tears, and he would be able to feel a tremor in her hands. "If you remember nothing else, remember this."
    Even when her voice trembled she spoke truly.
    "When you were still worried if you would ever be able to earn the love and acceptance from your village, I made a promise to you. I told you that even if the whole world turns their back on you, or despises you, even if nobody else cares about you, if nothing else, if nobody else, I do. No matter what, I would always believe in you. I meant it. No matter what name you use, or face you wear, through death or even into the next life--I'll never stop believing in you." A tear slipped down her cheek. He had asked if she had any questions--and she did. Only one. "I just need to know... when you asked me to join you in Kusagakure. When you offered your friendship. Every promise that you made to me. All the care that you've shown me--was it out of pity? Is it because you thought I was pathetic? I can handle whatever it is. I just... I need to know the truth. Just... what am I to you?"

@tag | 1017 Words | Notes:

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Shin of GS + Adox

last edit by Akatsuki on Mar 6, 2023 3:10:08 GMT -5
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blood upon the snowMar 10, 2023 7:27:48 GMT -5
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She was ginger, tender in the way that she embraced him with her hands - not the silkiest of hands but in a comfort of a warrior capable of protecting. But underpinned by a kindness that was pure. He intook a breath and held it there. Her touch hadn't disintegrated him, his God hadn't suddenly decided him unworthy yet. There was still time. But the human of him was still enamored in another way by Akatsuki.

Before he could tell her that she was a human, she'd carried on and the breath was still caught in his throat, making his face feel redder and closer to bursting. She started speaking again and he took a breath - making no attempt to remove her hands from his clean shaven face - still warm and moist from the shower he'd taken, and his hair pulled back - a style that he'd had longer and thicker hair to use before.

That much was true of their history - feared, whether by Kyobo or Jinchuuriki and where Akira had veered off the path to become something more feared, more powerful and to outshine the master(s): he paid the price of his life for it. Akatsuki on the other hand veered in a different direction. A better one. Where she and indulged in a history that was no longer his own, he wondered ... and when her eyes were dotted with tears he assured her. "Of course are friends." It did seem too coincidental that across the entire world and he'd ran into the wanderer over and over. They were like minded.



His mouth was agape a bit as he thought about it - was it romantic? Possessive? Obsessive?

She was a paragon and he was a parable. She was a light and he was a moth, and while in reality he would smother her light - he thought it would make her shine that much brighter. And he would offer her some true insight inside his mind; unvexed, truthful and undeniable.

"You are the thing that can still be saved." Akira knew it, and Akatsuki might have as well: projection of the things he wanted for himself, for her. "-I can give you what I hadn't been able to - safety. Happiness: you've lived your life in search of your brother and that might not have worked out. But you can have peace, and life. You are to me what a relic is to a priest." In another life, Akira might've seen her romantically: they had slept in one another's arms and that had been confusing enough, but she had given him what nobody else had, which was acceptance. Acceptance without condition, and he had been foolish.

She had maintained the same belief that she had before he had even inherited this skin - and she had remained consistent and it had been him who had changed. It was for the better: but he could objectively say he had.

It was evident now in his eyes that what he would've killed her over wasn't possession - it was protection. By protecting her, he protected his own virtues and peace from the projection that was taking place. He valued her in the same way he had once valued some of those virtues - and how pure it would be for her to bask in the light of Akui, to embrace the natural order of chaos and to find comfort in being an entity of purity in a world of improbable, imperfect humans.

And for those thoughts, he would look downward, resting his forehead against her upper abdomen: and he would hug her. That was something human that she deserved at the least.


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blood upon the snowMar 25, 2023 16:03:00 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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age 24 years old birthday October 16 rank B-Ranked occupation

 
- we sang of the grief-
"Your very voice is in my heartbeat, sweeter than despair"

Her breath caught in her throat when Sozin assured her without hesitation. Of course are friends. The thing that had haunted her spirit for what seemed entirely too long dissipated in a moment; what had been one of her greatest fears, Sozin had not doubted for a moment. She listened, further, as he went on to shed some insight on his mind. Relaying to her what he thought, and how he'd felt.
    It was sweet. Tender. His words offered her a kind of sincerity she was not often presented with, and any tension or worry in her body completely melted away as he returned her touch--pressing his forehead against her and wrapping his arms around her form. For a moment, she didn't know what to say as she'd felt overwhelmed with positive feelings. Relief, joy, security--something foreign and pleasant. "That was--such a lovely thing to say," she'd speak quietly, wiping at the tears that slid down her face. Even when people spoke kindly to her--they hardly carried the same weight of his words. "Thank you."
    She would carefully wrap her arms around him and offer him a gentle embrace, before cautiously guiding him away, her gaze attentive as she studied his own--silently asking for permission. If he gave no protest, she would climb into the chair with him, sitting on his lap with her legs straddling his waist, and wrapping her arms around his form tightly with their bodies pressed together. She'd nuzzle his cheek with her own, her skin soft and warm--though slightly damp--against him before she'd rest her head in the crook of his neck.
    I want to hold him tightly and never let go, the thought came as she closed her eyes. And I want to be held. She'd always been more physically affectionate than her brother--between the two of them, it was often her that engaged in hugging, cuddling, and hand-holding. Hanging onto him like a leech at times, even. And she wasn't one to shy away from such things even with strangers. But there was, too, moments when she craved a kind of closeness that she often couldn't ask for--even if she made a request, it often wouldn't be the same. A kind of safety and intimacy that couldn't be shared with strangers.
    But she could have it, here.
    "Sozin?" she asked quietly, her voice almost timid. "You know... earlier? Back in the forest when... when you asked what I wanted, and I said it was a secret..." She gently ran one of her hands along his back, her fingers carefully trailing along the place above his spine and branching outward across the fabric of his robe absent-mindedly. "Hm... this was it. More than anything, I just wanted... selfishly, I just... I wished that the people I loved also cared about me, too." But she hadn't wanted to say it. She didn't want to ask and be offered an act in compensation. And there would be no way for her to know if he'd answered truthfully or only because she'd made the request.
    The young woman would shift, slightly. One hand remaining wrapped around him, while the other shifted to the front of his form. Her fingertips lightly brushing against his chin and guiding him as she turned her own head slightly to give him a kiss on the cheek.
    "So... thank you. For everything."

@tag | 560 Words | Notes:

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blood upon the snowMar 25, 2023 17:07:47 GMT -5
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Guided by her in that moment he had pulled away when her body beckoned for it. One had to 'read the room' as it were. It actually eased him more in that moment when she did - the static pins and needles from the touch of her skin receding. But - for his own personal torture was that she had not been done with the embrace of another human, a medicine of her own kind that she needed and he would not protest for he put on his own brave stoic face, even wearing another face it still bore some of the characteristics that she would find - before nuzzling her own face into his neck - and with some trepidation he placed his own arms up, around - lightly touching the top half of her back - where even he could feel the curvature of her spine. Her warm breath against his body was giving him a psychosomatic response, he could definitely have sworn that it was getting too hot in there: or perhaps the moisture was just giving way, because he felt his head slick with sweat a bit.

It had been a stress response.

In that moment, they likely smelled similar - but he would be florally, having used the soap that had been provided in the room. One did not always have the luxury of buying, maintaining and wearing perfume: even less so as a Shinobi and a vagabond.

She called for his name. Well - not his name. His obtained name. hm? He didn't need to speak loudly for her being so close. He leaned up, and forward - upright. Though it tickled by the way she was so gentle with him, she might not have noticed his cheek twitching impulsively - like a subtle response. Deeper breaths.




"I don't even think he's there - Akira, had you ever heard of an eagle? Wonderful birds from Kumogakure. Wide, beautiful wings - like they could blot out the sky. We're going to give you wings as well. Wouldn't you like that?" The Tongue of God had the most wicked words for Akira as he remained chained to a rack, facing out towards fire as his orbs were dilated, absent, and the fire danced in its reflection.




Yes, the secret. mm? He intonated again, understanding that he remembered what she said. And as she spoke - his body seemed to pulsate. Excitement? No, that wasn't it. Understanding? No, that wasn't it. With passion? That was hard to tell. Most people didn't think as friends to be straddled, but they weren't exactly conventional.

But while she made the assertion thinking that perhaps she hadn't mentioned it because she didn't want a false declaration or a transactional relationship, Akira had come to a different conclusion. See - he wondered if she had known in that moment and wanted to be sure and judging the content of his character before being honest. Would he have blamed her? He was judging based of how he would have himself reacted, but that's because they were still fundamentally very different people.

And 'Sozin' would accept the graze upon his cheekbone, he didn't directly make eye contact with her as she lifted his gaze up - only when she had moved her head back to thank him did he look at her. With the silence that followed he felt compelled to speak. She and they - were magnetic in a way. And of relics it occurred to him in the moment, one that he had not had the foresight to make the connection to and he became compelled to say it in a moment of wit.

"You thought that your bloodline doomed you to anguish and were cursed people...but I don't see you as cursed, I see you as a treasured tool from the Sage of Six Paths. And if you need it, we will find someone who is worthy of having you." His voice was soft - quiet, a small moment for the two of them. He would fight for her place in Nohara no Kuni - and where else? The village had been so... welcoming to those outside it. He referenced her to a work of yore: of mythical nature to the legends of old. It was a rough story of the old times and the famed development of 'Ninjutsu' as history foretold it to be from 'Ninshu.' Most household names would be aware, but it held some baring in the modern day - everybody had their own rendition or name for what was the Sage of Six Paths.

Was there manipulation behind his words? Yes - his loyalty to Akui would not have allowed him to profess such idolic words to a person had it not been for their primary objective. But - the contents of his soul had been judged enough to know that it would have been the kind of thing for him to say, and his proclivities remained unchanged. "Do you want to stay like this?" He had to have resilience. For himself, for her - and with that, would allow her to lead him.

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blood upon the snowMar 25, 2023 23:44:51 GMT -5
Akatsuki
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age 24 years old birthday October 16 rank B-Ranked occupation

 
- we sang of the grief-
"Your very voice is in my heartbeat, sweeter than despair"

They were close, and his voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke to her. Sharing yet another kindness to her, though she wondered if what he said could really be true. Of course, she saw herself as cursed. How could she not? It was the legacy of her clan, and even her own story had seemed to do nothing but uphold it.
    But he believed differently.
    That there was a way--she could be safe. She could find security, and happiness, and he was willing to try showing her those things; carving that fate for her with his own hands, if he must. Something she hadn't believed possible, but resting against him as she was, feeling his heartbeat against her own, the gentleness of his voice and the poetry of his words, she felt convinced. A glimmer of hope, which he had shown her when it felt like nothing good could ever find her again.
    "Sage of Six Paths...?" she asked quietly, unfamiliar with the legend. It sounded like an important figure of some kind, and she wasn't sure if she could ever view herself in the way he seemed to. Treasured. She could almost feel her spirit melting away in his grasp.
    Sozin spoke, too, of finding someone worthy of having her--if she needed it. Too elated to be concerned with the statement, she was still curious by it. Her fingertips fell from his chin to rest by his collar bone, lightly tracing along the bones there as she nestled her cheek against the crook of his neck once more. Taking in his scent, her eyes fell at half mast as she was relaxed by his hold on her.
    She thought, briefly, of Kazutoshi. Had Sozin been speaking about someone like him?
    Kazutoshi had been kind to her--even moreso than that. He'd saved her life. Pulled her from the brink of death when all hope should have been lost, and hadn't given up on her in her darkest hour. He'd shown her kindness and admiration that she'd not often experienced elsewhere--and the words of affection he'd used to her could only be rivalled by Sozin's own. He had been nothing but wonderful to her, but Akatsuki was convinced that he deserved someone better than she.
    Someone unmarred by the cruelties of the world, someone who was tame and delicate. Someone who was not a Kyōbō. He'd been convinced that she was beautiful--but she feared that if they were together, she would only have damned him to some kind of misfortune, and he would be too kind-spirited to leave her for someone better if the opportunity arose.
    So, she'd never give him that choice.
    Sozin, on the other hand, seemed to think far more highly of her than she did of herself. Calling her such precious things--things she could never have perceived for herself. What kind of person was "worthy" of her, in his eyes?
    "Already, you have me," she said quietly. At least, in her eyes, things were just fine as they were; like this. Already, Sozin was everything she could have hoped for and more--it was alright if all she had was him. A home, a village, security, or someone else to keep her warm and safe, and all of those other lovely things he wanted for her--she was convinced she didn't need them. Any hell the world wished to unleash upon her, she could face it all--if only she had one person to call her own. A brother, or her friend--it was all she wanted. So long as she wasn't alone, she could face anything. "I don't need anyone else. You are enough."
    He asked if she wanted to stay like this--and she nodded.
    Just for a little while longer, at least. "If that's okay." Her voice would be soft--meek. No... she didn't want to let go. In truth, she could probably stay in his arms for the rest of the night and be content.

@tag | 660 Words | Notes:

Blue Text - Tsuchi Branch Kyōbō Only
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Violet Text - Common Language


Shin of GS + Adox


Mika has written 372 posts