Kenjin Nōdo: Kaminari-ken

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Kenjin Nōdo: Kaminari-kenMar 15, 2021 9:56:38 GMT -5
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Thunder Sword Branch - Universal


One of the five main styles that branch from the Sun Sword style, the Thunder Sword branch is a style that is said to embody thunder and lightning itself, even incorporating lightning into the styles attacks. The technique utilizes remarkable speeds to close in on one’s opponents, and overwhelm them with them with their quick and powerful strikes in a similar fashion to Iaido. While these techniques often utilize quickly closing the gap between the user and their opponent, the Thunder sword branch also has access to a fair amount of ranged techniques, allowing the user to stay on the offensive when closing the distance is not an available option.

NOTE: The mass majority of these techniques apply chakra to the user’s blade in some way, shape, or form. As such, a bladed weapon with Chakra Conductive or Reactive abilities is required for any technique that utilizes such effects.

NAME: Kaminari-ken: Hekireki Issen [Thunder Sword: Thunderclap and Flash]
RANK: D
CHAKRA USAGE: Low
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Speed SA, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
The first technique of the Thunder Sword branch, which nearly all it’s child techniques stem from. Developed in a similar fashion to the Shunshin no Jutsu, the user will amplify their legs and feet with the chakra, while coating their blade in the raiton element. In doing so, the user can move at incredible speeds for a brief period, about half that of the shunsin's capabilities, albeit only in a straight line, and is able to close a distance of about ten meters, or a little over thirty feet. During the initial lunge, the user will make a vertical slash during the motion, in an attempt to strike their opponent.

It should be noted that the use of this technique is much more taxing on the body than the chakra use it requires, and can only be done three times in succession before the user’s legs will go limp, and permanent physical damage will be taken.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Inadama [Thunder Sword: Rice Spirit]
RANK: C
CHAKRA USAGE: Low
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Speed SA, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
One of the more basic attacks of the Kaminari-ken branch, though it’s speed more than makes up for its simple nature. After sending raiton chakra into the user’s arms, they will unsheathe their sword to make five arcing slashes in the blink of an eye, before resheathing their weapon once more. During the initial unsheathing of their blade, the user will begin to siphon the chakra they have stored in their arms into their weapon, not only slicing their opponent with five quick strikes, but also jolting them with lightning in the process.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Hekireki Issen [Thunder Sword: Thunder Swarm]
RANK: C
CHAKRA USAGE: Low
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Speed SA, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
With great haste, the user will begin to dart around their opponent in a triangle formation after coating their blade in raiton. Each time they pass their opponent, the user will attempt to strike them, leaving a small wave of lightning in their wake. Using their speed to their advantage, the user is able to strike their opponent up to three times in rapid succession with both blade and lightning from a multitude of different angles. Tracking the user to predict their movements during this technique is quite difficult due to its speed, however, more advanced shinobi, or those who have access to powerful dōjutsu, are usually able to keep up with the users movements.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Enrai [Thunder Sword: Distant Thunder]
RANK: C
CHAKRA USAGE: Medium
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Speed SA, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
While much of this style is all about quickly closing the gap between the user and their opponent, this technique was created for when that does not seem to be an option. The user will begin by coating their blade in raiton, causing a build up of lightning. Once an adequate amount of lightning has been generated, the user will make between three to five quick thrusts, and cause the lightning to extend from their blade like a lightning bolt. These bolts of lightning are about the same size as the blade of the weapon used in the technique, and move quite quickly, to a distance of fifty feet, or just over fifteen meters. While this technique is quite fast, it’s strength is not quite on par with that of a ninjutsu style lightning bolt, and is typically only used when the user needs to attack from a distance.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Tōtatsu Kairai [Thunder Sword: Reaching Lightning]
RANK: C
CHAKRA USAGE: Medium
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
Sending lightning into the blade, the user will make an upward vertical slash. Using the lightning in their weapon, the user is able extend the range of this attack if necessary to a distance of around ten feet, or around two and a half meters. While it does not provide the reach that is granted by some of the other Thunder Sword techniques, this technique does offer a little bit more power packed behind the strike.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Rokuren [Thunder Sword: Six Fold]
RANK: B
CHAKRA USAGE: Medium
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Kaminari-ken: Hekireki Issen, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
A more advanced version of the Hekireki Issen technique. Just like it’s parent technique, the user will send lightning chakra into their weapon, and basic chakra into their legs and feet before quickly lunging at their opponent at an incredibly fast rate. However, while the original technique can only be done in a straight line, this technique allows the user to pivot after the initial lunge, allowing for six strikes in rapid succession. As this is a more advanced technique, the speed and strength of this technique is also slightly increased from the original, however, it is also much more fatiguing to the user. At this speed, the user is able to maintain movement of what would be expected for a tier below what shunshin would provide. Because of the pivoting motions between each dash, the distance covered is also halved from it's base form.

It should be noted that the use of this technique is much more taxing on the body than the chakra use it requires, and can only be done twice in succession before the user’s legs will go limp, and permanent physical damage will be taken.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Dengō Raigō [Thunder Sword: Rumble and Flash]
RANK: A
CHAKRA USAGE: High
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Kaminari-ken: Rokuren, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
One of the stronger techniques that the Kaminari-Ken is known for. The user will channel lightning into their blade, and chakra into their legs, before they begin to dance around their opponent with incredible speed. The user will dash and then pivot four to five times throughout the duration (one rotation) of the technique nearly identical to the Rokuren technique, only from a distance. With each pivot, the user slashes their blade in an arc, releasing a single quick and powerful bolt of lightning toward their opponent at a maximum distance of twenty five feet or just over seven and a half meters. The multiple angles of the users strikes in combination with the speed utilized in this technique is incredibly unpredictable, making it extremely difficult to track their movements. That being said, though, it is not impossible to do so, especially with the help of powerful dōjutsu.

It should be noted that the use of this technique is much more taxing on the body than the chakra use it requires, and can only be done twice in succession before the user’s legs will go limp, and permanent physical damage will be taken.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Hachiren [Thunder Sword: Eight Fold]
RANK: A
CHAKRA USAGE: High
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Kaminari-ken: Rokuren, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
The stongest variant of the Hekireki Issen. Sending chakra into their legs and raiton into their blade, the user will lunge at their opponent with blinding speed, to unleash a series of strikes at their opponent. Whereas the Rokuren utilizes six separate pivots, the Hachiren uses eight attacks that all happen in the blink of an eye. The speed and strength of this attack is notably on par with Rokuren, however it does provide the user with two additional strikes and dashes in the same timeframe, proving it is only slightly faster, moving at about three quarters of the speed of what Shunshin would allow for. In addition, the range for each lunge is also lessened to about ten feet or three meters to keep up with the number of lunges the user makes. As the speed of this technique is quite impressive, this technique can often prove difficult to track for even for more skilled shinobi. It should be noted, though those with dōjutsu can often react to the jutsu.

It should be noted that the use of this technique is much more taxing on the body than the chakra use it requires, and can only be done once over a great period of time before the user’s legs will go limp, and permanent physical damage will be taken.


NAME: Kaminari-ken: Honoikazuchi no Kami [Thunder Sword: Thunder God’s Reincarnation]
RANK: S
CHAKRA USAGE: Very High
CLASSIFICATION: Bukijutsu
ELEMENT: Raiton
REQUIREMENT: Knowledge of all Kaminari-Ken Techniques, Chakra Conductive or Reactive Weapon

DESCRIPTION:
The strongest and fastest technique that the Kaminari-ken has to offer, the Honoikazuchi no Kami is only capable of being executed by the fastest and most experienced shinobi. The user will coat their weapon and their entire body in lightning for a brief period, as the lightning takes the form of a bright yellow and blue dragon. The user will then dash forward at near impossible speeds, in an attempt to pierce through their opponent. Sparks of lightning will jolt around the user as they dash forward, creating a tunnel of superheated air and lightning around them as they move, followed by a trail of sparks and electricity.

It should be noted that the use of this technique is much more taxing on the body than the chakra use it requires, and can only be done once over a great period of time before the user’s legs will go limp, and permanent physical damage will be taken.


last edit by Deleted on Mar 23, 2021 8:11:52 GMT -5
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Kenjin Nōdo: Kaminari-kenMar 17, 2021 17:12:46 GMT -5
Yoshiko
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In General: That top section should JUST say Universal, Personal, Clan or Village. So please change it to 'universal'.

Please list actual requirements in the jutsu requirements. As the jutsu should hopefully at some point be added to an index.

"One of the five main styles that branch from the Sun Sword style, the Thunder Sword branch is a style that is said to embody thunder and lightning itself, even incorporating lightning into the styles attacks. The technique utilizes remarkable speeds to close in on one’s opponents, and overwhelm them with them with their quick and powerful strikes in a similar fashion to Iaido. While these techniques often utilize quickly closing the gap between the user and their opponent, the Thunder sword branch also has access to a fair amount of ranged techniques, allowing the user to stay on the offensive when closing the distance is not an available option." This paragraph is fluffier than Gabriel Iglesias.

Please don't list buki second or buki prim as a requirement, the rank of a jutsu determines that and that alone.

Kaminari-ken: Hekireki Issen [Thunder Sword: Thunderclap and Flash] - This feels like shunshin plus an attack, which like is the balancing point of shunshin is you can't attack. Give me a clearer range, increase the rank to C-rank and if it's shunshin fast, well then just make it use up shunshin counts and require shunshin jutsu.

Alternatively lower the speed tremendously, change up the downside and try to remember speed enhancement through raiton is going to make me question why this isn't apart of lightning armor.

Kaminari-ken: Inadama [Thunder Sword: Rice Spirit] - C-rank or make it a single strike. What you're doing definitely feels low rank, but the whole, super fast thing with lightning always makes me question, "Well how fast?" But I honestly don't have a gauge for that anyways. So I'd rather just keep the real good speed raiton behind a higher rank.

Kaminari-ken: Hekireki Issen [Thunder Sword: Thunder Swarm] - This jutsu has no explanation to number of slashes and it also is immediately trying to jump to the highest comprehension of speed. Maybe that was the goal of the others, but like no... this is a c-rank jutsu. I get speed SA and breathing SA... well I assume both are needed, but even then it's accounting you have two SA, so likelihood a genin invested in both is slime and thus I don't see this as a C-rank genin level technique.

Options; depends on the clarification of number of strikes, as well as whether or not speed... Honestly all of these I wanna know if I should be applying both SA's or one, or neither? The top makes it sound like simply being buki second or higher equals can do.

Kaminari-ken: Enrai [Thunder Sword: Distant Thunder] - "While it does not provide the reach that is granted by some of the other Thunder Sword techniques," So far this is the only technique to mention extending the reach, so without reading further, I can confidently say it provides the most reach. Unless the other techniques have a hidden reach not mentioned in which case mention it and expect the rank to go up again.

To the best of my knowledge lightning hasn't really been given a heat element, especially in simple cutting application. Sorta feel this technique should just boost range, like it's initial description otherwise I'm lowkey considering a hard no on this technique.

Kaminari-ken: Rokuren [Thunder Sword: Six Fold] - "pivot after the initial lunch" You forgot the requirement of a hearty midday meal. x3 You mean lunge.

This has like the right verbage of being the better version of an earlier technique, but shunshin is describe as near instantaneous, so faster than instant isn't really possible and coming close to it is usually going to cost you. If you keep my earlier options of shunshin and a range, then similarly add that to this and just say it uses two shunshin per movement. Also change the number from six to one... since you're gaining a ranged attack with increased strength for what will be a single rank higher as the first is definitely not a D-rank. Possibly should be the B-rank and this an A-rank, as you're still doing the one thing that jutsu wasn't supposed to be allowed with it's attribute of speed so broken we only allow it x amount of times.

IF you went the other route of slowing the first jutsu down, including range and so forth, than this might be good.

Kaminari-ken: Dengō Raigō [Thunder Sword: Rumble and Flash] - How many pivots / slashes per duration? I assume one duration is equal to one post. The fact this is another evolution jutsu means it falls under the same concerns as the above ones, so keep in mind the path you choose at the start shifts these further reviews too.

Kaminari-ken: Hachiren [Thunder Sword: Eight Fold] - It's the pinnacle so why isn't it an S-rank? I seriously feel everything getting a rank boost is probably necessary. This is 8, I assume incredibly powerful attacks with a 30ft range, that happen almost instantly... so yeah S-rank seems fair. Or again cut the numbers either in strikes or speed. Range?

Kaminari-ken: Honoikazuchi no Kami [Thunder Sword: Thunder God’s Reincarnation] - If we put this at the bottom of a universal bukijutsu list the words "The above jutsu" could go from 20 to a 1000. You'll have to clearly label which techniques are requirements. Or don't make them requirements.

"It is said that the speed this technique requires is so great that the user’s clothes will often be singed, and ripped after its execution." Not that this can't be tastefully done, but we're PG-13, so let's just not include that to not excuse pervy lightning person to go into deets about their hot naked bod.

Other than this again makes me think lightning release armor, which honestly lightning's boast is speed, so I won't deny you for treading loosely on it. I do think this jutsu especially as an S-rank is probably fine as it is.





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Kenjin Nōdo: Kaminari-kenMar 18, 2021 8:33:35 GMT -5
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In General: Changed header to simply Universal, added Speed SA to jutsu where necessary

Kaminari-ken: Hekireki Issen [Thunder Sword: Thunderclap and Flash] - Changed to be half the speed of shunshin and added a distance of 30 feet total. That being said, I did not see a noted distance in shunshin itself, so if you think the distance or speed should be lower than what I changed it to, let me know. I also changed to wording to clearly state lightning is going into the blade, and "regular" chakra is what is being used in the legs and feet.


Kaminari-ken: Inadama [Thunder Sword: Rice Spirit] - Changed to C Rank

Kaminari-ken: Hekireki Issen [Thunder Sword: Thunder Swarm] - Reworded to reflect the user moving in a triangle formation, so 3 dashes, 1 strike in each dash. I also rephrased the tracking bit to reflect that typically higher ranked shinobi than the user can keep up without too much trouble.

Kaminari-ken: Enrai [Thunder Sword: Distant Thunder] - Rephrased to better reflect your request.

Kaminari-ken: Netsu Kairai [Thunder Sword: Heat Lightning] - Changed name and description to remove the mention of heat, Jutsu now reads as Kaminari-ken: Tōtatsu Kairai [Thunder Sword: Reaching Lightning] with a more accurate description

Kaminari-ken: Rokuren [Thunder Sword: Six Fold] - "pivot after the initial lunch" You forgot the requirement of a hearty midday meal. x3 You mean lunge. - Thank you, fixed that!

Similar to the base version, changed the wording to reflect standard chakra into the legs, and raiton only into the blade, lowered the speed and added a max distance equal to have of the base technique, as with the addition of pivots, I wanted to make sure the user couldn't dash such a long way and simply turn on a dime. Hopefully this is more in line with your liking.

Kaminari-ken: Dengō Raigō [Thunder Sword: Rumble and Flash] - As above, changed to reflect chakra differences to the weapon and legs, added a total number of 4-5 dashes, and specified a total distance and duration of one post/rotation.

Kaminari-ken: Hachiren [Thunder Sword: Eight Fold] - Changed the wording to reflect it being the more advanced version of the base technique and clarified the speed and distance traveled. I know I worded it a little weird "The speed and strength of this attack is notably on par with Rokuren, however it does provide the user with two additional strikes and dashes in the same timeframe, proving it is only slightly faster, moving at about three quarters of the speed of what Shunshin would allow for." But I hope that makes enough sense? I also clarified it is still slower than shunshin. I am basically trying to say that its only addition to speed and strength is the simple addition of two more dashes and strikes in the same timeframe. Like I said, I know it's worded a bit funky, so if you want me to change the phrasing just let me know

Kaminari-ken: Honoikazuchi no Kami [Thunder Sword: Thunder God’s Reincarnation] - Removed the mention of singing/ripping clothes. I don't think there were any more requested changes?


Thank you Yoshi! <3





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Kenjin Nōdo: Kaminari-kenMar 18, 2021 14:50:35 GMT -5
Yoshiko
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Shunshin is a comparison I don't like, but I am not sure the verbiage I would prefer, soooooo.... with these edits. I am going to approve. I will let second staffer decide if a new phrasing is needed and whether ranges are okay. I am pretty alright with them...

1/2, approved.

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Kenjin Nōdo: Kaminari-kenMar 29, 2021 10:53:50 GMT -5
cocoa
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I am inclined to agree with Sharp on this one. Though there are multiple SAs here to attempt to offset the encroachment, I still feel like it's a different-method-same-solution issue that results in chomping LRA's flavor, since LRA itself is a raiton enhancement of shunshin. Even the straight line nerfs do little to prevent it from being as powerful as LRA since one of the conditions of LRA is that its speed causes tunnel vision/usually results in the user travelling in a straight line without the proper SA. The higher ranks of jutsu requiring dojutsu to perceive the movement are what really start to get into LRA territory for me. 

Possible fixes: 
1. The style is dependent on the ability to close gaps quickly, not necessarily to maintain rapid speeds or disorient/surprise, seeing as the lightning imbuing the blade would likely give away the trajectory anyways, meaning that the shunshin-like isn't essential. You could rewrite the abilities to close the gaps in a different way, such as with a more predictable supercharged leap, which is something we've allowed in past for similar bukijutsu styles. 

2. One of the primary uses of raiton that is not represented in this style is its paralytic effects. If you wanted to maintain a style around outpacing your opponent, you could create a priming technique wherein you paralyze or slow your opponent with a ranged attack and then move at a normal Speed SA-reliant quickness while your opponent is recovering. 

That's a lotta reworks, so I think our best course forwards here is for me to deny. Once you've made edits you can repost in notify for round two of lightning sword hour. 

2/2 denied. 
Cocoa has written 196 posts