[Yuie Junichi]

The Chuunin Exams were over. It should be a relief. To be done, finally, to know that it could end and he could go home. That he could get back to his routine and not have to worry about this for another year, or even another two years. Yet, it felt impossible to embrace failure and move on when he still had a guilt sitting on his shoulders.

The tricks he'd pulled in the exams were ultimately for naught. If they'd worked better he probably would've felt worse, but even with their abject failures the guilt made him feel grimy. Itsuki had told him that honor was for samurai, that a shinobi shouldn't feel bad about being a bit underhanded, that people like them needed to be able to pull off such tricks. And Junichi thought he was right, but he couldn't shake the sense that in a friendly competition, it had been wrong.

Though he felt bad about making Tsuri cry, he felt really terrible about the trick he'd pulled on Hitsukai. It had been petty and immature. And Hitsukai had gone against Hotarubi the next day - it was a miracle that nothing bad had happened to him, and Junichi wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt of Hitsukai had gotten hurt because of Junichi's own stupidity.

When all was said and done and the exams were properly wrapped, Junichi sought out the monk of Kaze no Kuni. He was anxious to approach, yet he needed to.

"Ya-Yasuraka-san," he greeted, nervous that the man would get irritated at his presence immediately and dismiss him. "Would you mind if- if I talked to you?"

[Yasuraka Hitsukai]

Hitsukai earlier in the day had tried to walk around the city to take in the sights, but after a few hours had begun to feel as if every eye was watching him, somehow knowing he was a foreigner. Perhaps it had been individuals in attendance to the exams, maybe it was those meant to be policing the streets or perhaps it was merely just his unusual monk attire drawing gazes.

Regardless of the reason, the level of attention and left him feeling uncomfortable, so he eventually left to find a more quiet section of town that the exam attendees were permitted to be within. The quiet place he had finally found was a small courtyard before what seemed a church constructed relatively recent with peculiar colored stone.

The monk simply sat cross-legged within the small square with his back to another statue and his face facing towards the church, although his eyes were currently shut and his fists clenched across his lap with the knuckles pressed together. The typical meditation pose combined with his robes with a place of worship nearby had seemed effective in deterring the eyes which had felt to be burrowing through his body earlier in the day. The peace however was interrupted by his name being hesitantly spoken. Opening his eyes and turning his head towards the sound the monk was greeted by the sight of Junichi standing before him with obvious anxiety asking if Hitsukai would mind speaking.

"I suppose that depends entirely on the words that are to follow."

The monk turned his face back towards the church and kept his knuckles pressed together, but did not close his eyes again. Apart from that the monk simply waited and listed for what the ame-nin wished to say, his own body language showing no immediate hostility, but also not very inviting either. Admittedly his mind was a bit less composed, Hitsukai torn between indignation that the one who had attempted to sabotage him had the gall to try and speak to him, but oddly enough some level of appreciation towards the uneasiness the boy currently was displaying being around Hitsukai.

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[Yuie Junichi]

Understandably, he was still mad. He didn't seem hostile and didn't shoo Junichi away immediately, but the tone and demeanor made the boy feel like he needed to tread carefully. His stomach was doing flips and he clutched at his own arm. Some childish part of him warred with his mind - Hitsukai had snapped his arm, but he was acting so angry with Junichi... But it was all about the context in which these things had happened.

Junichi steeled himself, taking a deep breath. Then he bowed, deep, even though Hitsukai wasn't facing him and wouldn't see. He wanted to be respectful, show that this was a conversation he was having in good faith.

"I... I wanted to apologize for my conduct at the end of our match," he said, closing his eyes, squeezing them tight. He felt his voice start to waver and the rest of the apology spilled out of him.

"You were respectful, and kind, and I- I took advantage of that. I was frustrated with myself, and my performance, and I... just wanted to show someone that I could do something. I wanted the proctors to see me pull a trick, or- or to kick me out for cheating, or for you to think I was clever, or anything, and- I took it out on you. And it was immature. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

Kenichi would probably be so disappointed in him, too. Junichi didn't care about the whole heroism thing that much, but still - there was a certain level of honor that Kenichi expected from everyone, and especially from him.

[Yasuraka Hitsukai]

Hitsukai listened with a rather stoic expression on his face, his eyes fixated on the church across from him. On the inside however, the same mixture of anger, disappointment and regret he had felt during the end of his match slowly crept in once again. This time however there was also a slight tinge of appreciation. While the boy's apology did not change his action during the match, his willingness to apologize was at least a step in the right direction; at least if it was genuine.

"So, did you gain any of this validation you so desperately sought?"

The question was a simple, if possibly unexpected response from Hitsukai. Many others might have voiced gratitude for the apology, or ripped it apart and simply opted to berate the boy further. Hitsukai while harboring a great deal of irritation towards the whole affair, was doing as the monks had taught him though and attempting to turn this into a teaching moment for the boy, both for what he thought of as the good of society at large and the boy's own benefit whether he realized it or not.

Even with such a goal, many might have just opted to state what they thought, but The Sage of Bishamon had often displayed the effectiveness of asking questions to lead one to the answers they needed rather than telling them the answer immediately.

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[Yuie Junichi]

Hitsukai was a respectful person, so Junichi wasn't expecting him to tell him off or anything like that, but the calmness of the response did still take him off guard. There wasn't any berating for his decisions or for his underhandedness, just a simple question.

As he straightened up to look at Hitsukai, it was clear that it had caught him off guard. He thought about it for a second, mind still racing with everything. There was a very simple answer, of course, and that answer was,

"No."

He curled his fists, looking down at his hands. His arm still ached a little, but he was sure it was more of a phantom pain than anything else.

"It didn't really amount to anything. You're the only one who even noticed I'd done it." When he talked to Itsuki afterwards, the boy hadn't even noticed what he'd done. None of the things Junichi had tried to do during the exams had been seen. To everyone he looked just as incompetent as he felt. It wasn't even a hard pill to swallow, because Junichi had known it the whole time. There was no reason he should've made it to the final round. He wasn't good enough.

"Other people have told me that I- that I need to be harsher, or more underhanded, to be a better shinobi, but I don't think I have the stomach for that kind of thing..."

[Yasuraka Hitsukai]

Listening to the response, Hitsukai was possibly almost as frustrated as Junichi that his underhanded tactic had gone unnoticed by the crowd at least in the light of a blatant disregard for the rules of the match not receiving appropriate punishment. On the other hand however, if Junichi's attack had gone unnoticed then in a strange way, it made the boy's apology that much more meaningful. Should Junichi wished, he could have easily pretended that the event had never happened and no one would be the wiser except Hitsukai and Junichi.


"Other people have told you much and you've expressed doubts. Tell me, how do you intend to move forward then?"


Once again the monk did not tell Junichi what to do in any manner, instead he opted to ask yet another question meant to make the boy search his soul and fine the truth within himself. As far as Hitsukai thoughts were concerned however, it seemed as if the boy had two main options left to him. Either Junichi would need to give up the path of a shinobi and take up a career where violence would not be necessary or he would need to find some sort of code to live by so as to more easily bear the burden this life placed on one's conscience.

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