[Jinjōi Chiyo]

Chiyo stayed after classes, today.

She did it often. When not rushing off to help parents with their work at the Araikettei household, she was commonly found in the Academy's dojo, practicing her stick-wielding. Sometimes, other kids joined her, other times she went at it alone, flailing her wooden bokken at the target dummies. So, there was that girl again. Wearing her samurai-like kimono with a sash, going through the motions of practicing various blows on the target. 

'Empty the mind... stuff like that...'

She couldn't though, lately.

Things were just ... forcing their way into her mind. They were distracting. They were ... scary. And they were something that could very likely happen! But maybe they wouldn't, if she kept hard at it. Yes, strike that dummy with all your strength! Do it harder, faster. Then, maybe, they won't happen. Or it won't be as bad... 'Or it would be all for nothing...'

TWACK!

The wooden bokken flied out of Chiyo's hand. Her grip was too loose. The previous swing, it was too hard. Her palms were red from the impact. Blinking, and refocusing, she realized her hands were empty. The girl sighed, and waddled off, to pick up the bokken. Sitting in the seiza position on the floor, placing her weapon in front of it. She was proud of her sword, on most days, but now she just looked at her trusty wooden blade with pity.

'How will you protect me? You're not even made of steel...'

_____________

miyake mikio

[miyake mikio]

CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED As a junior instructor, Mikio was not often (read: never) responsible for full classes of students on her own—more often she was shadowing a more experienced instructor, leading small breakout groups, or helping with afterschool training. Today she was helping with afterschool training in the Academy dojo, working with two young Takeda students on some basic hand-to-hand maneuvers. Her hands and feet were taped up, her usual girlish uniform forgone in favor of the sweatpants and loose top that were more practical for a physical training session. TWACK! Mikio’s ears twitched. She turned her head just in time to see a wooden bokken go flying; tracking its source, she spotted a familiar head of white hair. Chiyo-chan was in one of the classes that Mikio frequently assisted with, and Mikio had always liked how enthusiastic and eager the girl was in all her training endeavors. All that joy seemed gone, now, replaced with a despondent look that made Mikio’s heart feel as heavy as the rain clouds outside. "Keep practicing with each other, okay?” Mikio said to the two kids she was working with, patting them both lightly on the head. "Mimi-sensei will be back in a little bit.” Mikio went over to where Chiyo was sitting and mirrored her position, her legs folding up neatly underneath her as she settled in to face the troubled young student, Chiyo’s bokken on the ground between them. "Chiyo-chan looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders,” Mikio said, folding her hands neatly in her lap. "Can Mimi-sensei help?” Jinjōi Chiyo -- 262

MADE BY NIGHTBLOOM

[Jinjōi Chiyo]

"Hm? Oh~ Iwa-sensei..."

Chiyo blurted it out without thinking, when the pink-haired lady approached and sat in front of her. That was the teacher's name at the academy. Everyone gossipped about how the woman was actually from Iwa. The skin color and cat ears helped. Along with the strange accent and oblivious to local customs. Some kids speculated she might be a spy. Chiyo did not believe such allegations. 'She'd make the most obvious spy in the history of spying...'

The question, though, made Chiyo look down on her sword again.

"I'm... not sure..."

There were lots of things in the girl's mind. And she felt like it was her burden to carry. She wanted to be able to protect oneself. And her friends. And fight for their honor. But what could one do when you're a tiny academy student? You will grow, sure, but that is in the future! What if you needed strength now? So many questions and doubts boiling in that little head of hers. Her hands balled into fists, placed on her ankles, as she looked up at her teacher again.

She was an adult, after all, and a teacher at that! Surely, she'd have the answer.

"Iwa-sensei... Have you ... ever lost a fight?" 

The girl didn't know how to approach this better, but ask it directly. Her tone sounded uncertain, and a bit hopeful too. Hopeful for something reassuring. 

[miyake mikio]

CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED Iwa-sensei. Mikio hadn’t heard that exact version before, but some iteration or another had made its way to her ears at some point—and it had always left her feeling a little confused and a little adrift, like she was wearing a shirt that didn’t quite fit. She’d left Iwagakure, her clan, her family, everything she’d ever known… but it stuck with her still, like an itch she could never quite scratch. She pushed the thought from her mind. Chiyo-chan didn’t mean anything bad by it, and she was clearly in need of help—so help she would! "Sure have!” Mikio chirped, an honest and shameless response to Chiyo’s heavy, heavy question. She reached out to Chiyo’s balled-up fists, gently but firmly prying them open and wiggling Chiyo’s fingers around. Holding up all that tension in her hands was no good for anyone, especially not a swordswoman-to-be! "Mimi-sensei has lost a bunch of fights. Playing, training, missions, chuunin exams. Chuunin exams was a big one! Lots and lots of people saw and it felt pretty bad, Mimi and Azuki were really bummed out… but we got to become chuunin anyway!” She held Chiyo’s hands firmly between her own and gently swayed side-to-side, trying to get Chiyo to physically loosen up, move her body instead of hunker in all sad and distraught. Mind-body, right? "Did Chiyo-chan lose a fight recently? Do you want to tell Mimi-sensei about it?” Jinjōi Chiyo -- 237

MADE BY NIGHTBLOOM

[Jinjōi Chiyo]

It's not what I meant...

Iwa-sensei was very bubbly. She chattered about her various experiences like they were no big deal! Like she got over them already. But these weren't the fights Chiyo was worrying about. She didn't mind being beat by a stronger opponent as part of the training. What she was worried about was losing ... when winning really did matter.

When asked if she lost one, Chiyo shook her head.

"I didn't lose a fight... yet." - she said, avoiding her teacher's gaze, still sitting respectfully on the ground. Trying to find words that would better convey what was the source of her worries. This teacher was nice and kind, she wouldn't look down on her for worrying. Right? Breathing in and out, Chiyo looked back up.

"I meant... have you ever lost a fight that mattered... You know, like when you're trying to protect someone and fail... Or when you lose to an enemy who wants you dead... And left at their mercy..."

She shuddered a little. Imagining herself in either of those situations was ... scary! What if she went to try and beat up that bully who broke her friend's arm, and ... lost? Would she end up with a broken arm too? Worse? The thought of one's life being in someone's hands so directly was terrifying! Paralyzing even. Chiyo's shoulders drooped even lower. 

She kept looking at Iwa-sensei, hoping she'd give her some ancient wisdom. Something to put her mind at ease. Anything, really.

But there was no magic trick to it, was there?

[miyake mikio]

CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED Chiyo-chan hadn’t yet lost a fight… she was worried about losing one. This was a foreign idea to Mikio, who had little cause to worry about much of anything in her life, so utterly unafflicted by the little anxieties that plagued most mortal folk that this question gave her pause. How to answer? "Mimi-sensei did say missions, yes?” she replied gently, tilting her head. "Sometimes you fail. Mimi-sensei had to do an escort mission a few years ago with her sensei and it went, um… really badly.” Still swaying back and forth, she seemed generally unperturbed by this—as if it didn’t weigh on her in the slightest. "We failed the mission, actually, the person Mimi-sensei and Mimi-sensei’s sensei were escorting got killed ‘cause we were ambushed and didn’t react fast enough. No money for Iwagakure! And Mimi-sensei was badly hurt, and it was really sad to tell his family. Everyone cried a lot. But…” She thought about this for a moment, following the rabbit along its trail. "But sometimes you fail, and it’s really hard and it hurts a lot. But Mimi-sensei had her sensei to help get away safe, and we trained a lot harder after that, and we tried a lot harder after that.” She frowned minutely. "Not that we weren’t trying! But it was… different, after. Bigger. It felt more important to do the best we could so we could make sure nothing like that happened again. And sometimes it will still happen again, because it just does. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.” Jinjōi Chiyo -- 267

MADE BY NIGHTBLOOM