[Saeko Ayukawa]

All in the Mind and Muscle ""88...89...90" Moment Music To better adjust to a change in both body and surroundings, one had to be capable of going with the flow as it were. It could be from development of other skills or noting the change in the environment and setting up tools in which to better survive. This was the method known to the huntress and it had more than served Ayukawa well in one way or another. Both physically and mentally. It had been some time since the events that had taken her arm, and while it wasn't as daunting as it had been at the time, it didn't change the fact that she now had to constantly adjust her fighting style and movements to go along with her extra weight, or lack there of. It certainly made for a more mindful experience, but it didn't change her attitude about her fighting style. She was going to be a Taijutsu Specialist. There was no going back from that, and she had the strength to do it. In balancing herself against the surface of the sand, her body would rise up and down as she adjusted herself while lingering upside down. With her arm pushing and holding her upright, she'd continue to lower herself slowly into the sinking surface, her concentration of keeping herself steady as to remain balanced. So far though, the most difficult part was keeping herself from getting dizzy. "Okay Ayu...just ten more..." Lowering herself again, she'd continue to push herself back up with her one hand dug into the sand, gripping at nothing but managing to stabilize her as she continued her routine.

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[Saeko Ayukawa]

All in the Mind and Muscle Moment Music The challenge of trying to maintain a singular position upon sand was how it constantly shifted under the weight. It wasn't exactly firm in footing when someone was standing, so trying to keep in one place for a long period of time was difficult when it was moving. Near impossible with one hand. As Ayukawa continue to push upward, holding herself with the one good arm she had left, she'd find herself slipping before fumbling forward in a tumble. Rolling to the ground, the teen would groan as she rose back up and began to flip herself into another handstand. "Great...now I have to start over..." It was part of her own regiment to repeat herself from the start if she made a mistake. In truth, she figured it was one of the ways she could keep focused. Plus, it was hard to remember exactly what number she might have left off on after a few falls to the head. Even with the sand being a decent enough cushion for the blow. "Okay....1...2..." She'd feel the strain on her arm as she did this, but she knew that switching to the prosthetic wouldn't exactly be fair. In fact, it'd be cheating. She'd gain nothing from using it and all it did was make the training easier. It made a lot of things with her usual training easier, which was part of the problem. She had to continue to rely on her own body and abilities without so much keeping her fake on the side but as a secondary resource. The fact that it didn't feel strain or pain was great, but all it did was make her all the more dependent on it's strength. Though that could have been because it was on the side that the usually was quick to use in a fight. Being right handed wasn't exactly fun when your fingers were made of wood and metal wiring.

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[Saeko Ayukawa]

All in the Mind and Muscle Moment Music Time would continue to pass and before the girl realized it, it was nearly the end of the day. As she stopped her current pace of training, her eyes would glance to the sky, recognizing the change in day. The chill in the air kissed her tan skin as the sweat from her routine had shown from the dampness of her attire. Before long, she'd sit herself down upon the ground, taking the time to retrieve a bottle of water from her pouch to drink. The hours spent in training were just as consuming as those in the field, but she often felt that she was more engaged and fosued when doing them. It was at least in training that she could really keep her mind occupied. There was no real challenge in throwing a punch or balancing herself, or even simply just being herself. But out there...there were so many other factors that she had to consider....things and people that were on the line... She had to think, to plan, to outwit, to strategize and in the end, try and have a smile on her face at the end of the day's effort. This was far harder for someone who often didn't have the right answers and in recent events, learned that she was far from someone who could state that she was innocent of not holding a bias against certain people. Ayukawa used to be able to say that she didn't hate anyone...but these days she couldn't make such a claim. She did hate...and she did have anger....more than that...she had regrets...

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[Saeko Ayukawa]

All in the Mind and Muscle Moment Music Ayukawa had never been a thinking person. In fact, one the few things she enjoyed was to think about hard stuff. Most of the time it confused her, and other times it was just so complicated that it didn't seem to do herself any good to consider it. But she wasn't by any means stupid as most would assume. The young woman put her focus in the things that she care about. Her clan, her friends, Issei, and her dream. She wanted to be the worlds greatest Taijutsu Specialist...one that could rival that of her idol Oonakayama Kasumi. Her passion was to help others and to challenge herself to be better than she was yesterday... But as time had passed, those goals and dreams had started to wavier on just what she had managed to achieve.... She had become a Chunin at a pretty young age...even so, she wasn't anything compared to her friend, Kazui. More than that, she would easily admit that a part of her began to get more and more laxed in her routine as she drew closer to Issei. That wasn't his fault, it was just how she wished to spend her time. Then the events of her lost arm happened....and with it came the price of that affection. Not that this was a regret as she'd have done anything to protect Issei. Though what followed after had been something that she in a sense felt was her fault. Her actions in following her heart had almost cost her, had it not been for her resolve. She had even taken her own fair share of hits because of it. But, at least she knew where her heart was...not that this matter much to most. But it was something that most shinobi couldn't say at her age...

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[Saeko Ayukawa]

All in the Mind and Muscle It was rather impressive for a young girl who had been fresh off the boat in a new location. But then, traditions had been something of a fond memory for her and it was in a similar way to how Lady Kasumi had started out. She had arrived at the village with very little and simply worked hard to get to where she was. She had even managed to find love and create an alliance between Sunagakure and the Saeko Clan. That said, she could only hope to emulate such an icon... Which she hadn't.... In nearly a year, she had managed to isolate herself from her clan, nearly get exiled, her name removed, almost killed twice and basically attempted personal murder against a former elder. Granted, the man had been corrupt in the end, but it wasn't exactly a pretty picture of someone who might one day become as recognized a leader as Lady Kasumi. It made her wonder what her brother would think of what she'd done? In truth, Kouta would likely have been disappointed in a lot of her actions. For getting into as much trouble as she had, it was almost a blemish on his memory. Though she had started to realize more and more that she couldn't live simply for the benefit of other people. If anything, doing that was what made her unhappy and placed so much pressure for her to want to be perfect. But, was that not the same as emulating her idol?

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[Saeko Ayukawa]

All in the Mind and Muscle So then came the question....a similar one to another she had before....what was it that she wanted? In addition to that....who even was she? "Ughhhh...I hate thinking so much..." Rubbing her head with a pouting expression, the young Chunin would then cross her arms over her chest and began to think even harder on the matter. After all, a mature shinobi was able to know themselves right? It made her wonder if Kazui had to do this? She always seemed so calm. Issei too...and Zakku...Arashi...even Asahi... So who was she? Honestly, she had worked so hard to get her supposed identity back that it didn't even occur to her why it was so important? Especially since it seemed like all it did was make her blood crazy. Even now, she questioned if she'd ever really been much of a Saeko in the first place?

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[Saeko Ayukawa]

All in the Mind and Muscle Ayu had always considered herself to be honor bound by the discipline she had grown with in the clan. There was a sense of family duty, as well as a moral center that kept one from acting outside of the best interests of the the clan itself. Granted, a Clan member was able to do what they wished, even if it may be at the displeasure of the clan as a whole, but it often came with an understanding that despite the difference of opinion, they were still a family. That belief had been questioned heavily in the last few years, and with the events connecting her own experiences, she couldn't say for sure if she really believed that any more. While the root of the problem had been removed, what was there to say that it couldn't come back>? Arashi was just one person, and with Lady Kasumi still no her trip, there was no one else that could support that understanding outside of that. Did she trust the clan to be willing to heal after being lead by such a corrupt individual for so long? More than that, her own understanding of the events...save for what she had been through, was that much of it had been done in order to reveal the true identity of the one responsible. It had worked, but in the long run things had been said that could never be unsaid. Even now, she still shivered at the realization that her mother had yet to state or mention anything in regards to an apology in disowning her. Not that she had done much in reaching out to them save for a letter or two.But those two things didn't connect did they? What she wanted, what she felt she needed, was it a place within the clan or just a place in general?

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