[Mikazuki Aikawa]

[googlefont="Playfair Display"][googlefont="Alice"]

I'm scared that you'll compare and I'll look a lifetime past repair

Yoko misunderstood. The point was to get to a level of tolerance where even if her mind and body were in pain and agony, her soul screaming for it to stop--that she still wouldn't give in. That she wouldn't show it, even if she was in such a state. That she could mask her pain even if it was there.
    That was the point.
    Not to make it so that she couldn't feel pain, but so that she wouldn't submit to the demands of those inflicting it upon her, despite it.
    Yoko disagreed. Said she was like every other person she'd known--which Himari hadn't said she wasn't, just that she didn't want to be. That the goal was to be the one different one. Not to be like everyone else. Yoko claimed that there would always be a weakness, and perhaps that was true. But Himari wanted to narrow down that number of weaknesses until which ones remained were so obscure that practically nobody would have had access to exploit them.
    Yoko didn't think she'd be able to achieve the level of tolerance that she wanted, Himari didn't let her words deter her. She'd still try. She wasn't quite as convinced.
    Maybe she couldn't have a casual discussion over something pointless while her spine was being dissolved, no. But maybe she'd be able to endure such without screaming, without blurting out things without thought. To still be able to concentrate on what she was doing and saying, and monitor her words and keep her will in tact. Maybe there would be physical limits--if her leg was missing, she probably couldn't run, if her spine was dissolved she probably wouldn't be able to sit up or feel anything from the waist down. But she didn't want to let those things hinder her from what she could do.
    To most people, if you lost your arm in a fight the shock would halter your movements--if you didn't freeze from it. The amount of pain might be enough to stop many shinobi from continuing to fight, because it was unbearable. Intolerable.
    But Himari wanted to be one of those few who wouldn't have even batted an eye. Who'd still continue to fight as if it hadn't happened.
    Maybe when most people had their fingernails ripped out and their eyes gouged from their skulls, they'd scream and beg for the pain to stop. They'd give in and offer up whatever information was being asked of them.
    Himari wanted to be able to keep her cool, to still function. To still be able to focus on what she was there for, what the mission was, and try to still formulate a means of escape. Not to scream, and cry, and beg. And certainly not to give up any information she wasn't meant to.
    If someone was being beaten to a bloody pulp, barely recognizable as human anymore--perhaps they would give up. Perhaps they would do what was being asked of them, even if it went against their morals or mission--if only just to cease the punishment.
    Himari wanted to have such conviction and will that it didn't matter how thoroughly she was broken, she wouldn't become someone else's puppet.
    That maybe the pain and agony and torment would affect her body, but it wouldn't affect her spirit. That she had such a high tolerance that nothing could break her. Not truly. Not that she couldn't feel pain, that she couldn't be subjected to agony, but that it wouldn't do what it was intended to do.
    That she couldn't be hurt in a way that mattered.
    Not that she couldn't be hurt.
    That it would only affect the physical, not the spiritual.
    To be impervious, but not indestructible.
    Yoko didn't think Himari could accomplish such. That there'd always be something that could break her. But you couldn't break something that had already been shattered. Only things that were whole were vulnerable.
    Yoko thought Himari was like everyone else.
    She didn't think Himari would be able to do it.
    Which was fine.
    Himari didn't need the moral support. The doctors said she wouldn't make it to her first birthday, yet here she was at eighteen. The villagers said she could never become a shinobi. But she was a chūnin, now. Fate whispered that she'd never amount to anything, but she was a jinchūriki, now.
    If Yoko wanted to tell her she couldn't accomplish it, that was fine.
    She was willing to meet again, and follow through with another session.
    All Himari needed for her to do was subject her to such atrocities. To push her to those limits and really test them.
    She didn't need her to believe it would be possible to achieve what she was intending to.
    She didn't need Yoko to agree with her. Just to break her as much as she was able.
    And so, she wouldn't comment on that bit. There was no point in arguing it, and it didn't really matter. "Tuesday at three, then," Himari repeated, nodding. "Sounds good. I'll be there." She glanced over her shoulder at the other woman. "Thanks."

OUTFIT

TAG

854

NOTES

ⒶⓀⒾ of Adoxography and of GS

[Deleted]

With the agreement on their next meeting, the day and time were set and there wasn't much else to discuss. Yoko finished up addressing what remained of the injuries, healing everything evenly among the punctures, cuts, bruised tissue, and burns. Soon enough the last hint of damage was gone. There would be a few scars, as Mystical Palm only sped up what the body would've already done to heal itself. But it was nothing that Himari couldn't have cosmetically corrected if she was that particular about her appearance. The biggest scar was on her back and she wouldn't see much of it anyway.

With the healing done, Himari was all set to leave. "I'll show you out, then." She rose to her feet and would lead the woman out of the lab and back up the stairs from the basement. Then it was down the hall and to the entryway of the first floor. Himari's silence on her points earlier would imply that she was going to stubbornly cling to some unrealistic vision of success where it concerned torture training, but Yoko couldn't heal idiocy, and so she let it go.

With a short wave at her door, she watched the other woman leave with a simple, "Bye now." Their connection was a simple one and there was no point trying to embellish on it. They would meet again, there would be more pain, and then Himari would leave. Simple and easy. Some of Yoko's neighbors might have wondered why a woman in tattered clothing was leaving her home. So far, though, none of them had been bold enough or stupid enough to ask questions about some of the sights and sounds that originated from her property. But the flower gardens out front were pretty. They definitely didn't scream "basement torture chamber" or "chemical lab" so all was well from the outside--where it mattered.


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Mikazuki Aikawa ❤ HEX: #d85266 ❤ End