[Akatsuki]

[googlefont=Indie Flower]

❁

To Akira-San and Kokuo-sama,

Hello! I hope you were able to get this letter. I realized after we parted ways that I don't know your address, so I wasn't sure where to actually send this. But I sent it to Iwagakure and there's only one Akira who's a jinchuriki as far as I know.

I suppose it feels silly that I never asked, before. You know I'm a Kyobo, but I never asked you what your last name is. Is it okay that I ask your surname?

If this ends up being read by someone else then this is very embarrassing.

I wanted to formally thank you for your offer of friendship and penmanship. I really appreciate it probably more than I can even say.

How are you doing? And is Kokuo-sama doing well? I don't even know what to talk write about but I think that's a good place to start. You can send your letter back to this address (5089 Local Post Office in Hitsuji), I'm going to stay in this town for a little while. I wanted to make sure to send a few letters to you before I leave, just in case.

I hope you're doing well and look forward to hearing back from you.

Best wishes,
From Akatsuki

[Deleted]

---

To Kyobo Akatsuki,
Hitsuji
Tsuchi no Kuni

Hey,

Thanks for the letter. Please don't address Kokuo, as I have no idea who may be reading them.

He is well.

My name is Satori Akira. And I might say it's clear you don't write them often. Not that that's bad: there will be opportunity to practise.

Can I ask why you're staying at Hitsuji for a few days? Have you got some work? And I'm glad to have heard from you so soon. The last few days have been very stressing, and high octane. As of right now all I've been able to do was teach and train. I haven't paid much time to anything else.

If you have any ideas or would like to share what you do to calm down, I'm all ears.

My address is 168 Kasukabe Lane, Tochigi-Shi, post code 185-2353.

P.s. I have included some Ryo for supplies and stamps, so it need not inconvenience you to buy them yourself.

Regards,
Akira

---

[Akatsuki]

[googlefont=Indie Flower]

❁

To: Satori, Akira
168 Kasukabe Lane, Tochigi-Shi, 185-2353
Iwagakure, Tsuchi no Kuni

Akira,
I am very sorry. I didn't realize it was a secret, but I understand and you have a very good point. It won't happen again.

This is actually my first letter! Well--second, now. I've never had any need to write to anyone, before, and I admit I'm much better at speaking this language than writing in it. So this is a good opportunity for me to practice, like you said. I apologize if my hand-writing is bad.

I'm staying in Hitsuju for a short while because I have something in the area I need to take care of, and this was the closest town and I wanted to make sure I wrote to you at least once. I'm doing a little bit of work for right now, until I go. I appreciate the gift of ryo but please! you must not. Writing to you and getting my own things is not an inconvenience--you don't need to worry about me.

I'm a big strong girl who can take care of herself and get her own paper and stamps, yes?

I don't know what octane is, but it's unfortunate to hear you've been stressed. Has something happened? You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to, or I know sometimes it's not any one thing--but just responsibility and little things piling up. As for how to calm down, I have a lot of ideas but they really depend on you, and why you're upset, and what you think is best. You don't seem the type to get scared much, and based on our conversations in the past I'm guessing that something has upset you?

You could always try to calm down by getting whatever emotions out of you. Fighting--though that could be very dangerous if you're going against a person you don't want to kill--and training are good ways to get unwanted energy out, but sometimes it's not enough. If you really wanted to lash out, a mission where you're supposed to kill your opponents would probably be a good place. Sometimes a distraction can be good--if you focus on something else entirely that's not even related to whatever's upsetting you, you can pull your head away from it until the feelings pass like a storm. Do you have other hobbies that you could do? Something like painting, or smithing, or reading or whittling could be something to do. I'm sure there's lots else but it would have to be something you enjoy--I could suggest the world but it might not work for you.

Opposite of distraction, sometimes thinking about it can be a good and important thing. Processing your emotions is an important part of sorting them out--and once they're organized, you can know why you're upset, think about possible solutions, accept what happened, and then move forward. If you don't properly give yourself time to process it--it'll never be thought through and it might come up in an explosion later. If you keep putting off cleaning your house, no matter how much you try to avoid it, you're going to come home to a mess eventually, if you know what I mean? I'm always happy to offer advice or help if it's something I can do.

Sometimes, though, just venting it all out can be good, too. Depending on what it is, sometimes you don't even need to try to properly process something that happened. Sometimes, you just need to get the feelings out so they don't boil inside of you, and then once they're gone--you can move on afterward.

(P.S. Would it be okay if you actually addressed it as Akatsuki the Bleeding Sun? I really don't like my last name, but that way it still doesn't get mixed up with someone else. I'm sorry for the inconvenience...)

From,
Akatsuki the Bleeding Sun

[Deleted]

---

To Akatsuki (The Bleeding Sun),
Hitsuji
Tsuchi no Kuni

Hey,

Don't worry about it: if you haven't been needing to make use of it, why have it? It'll grow with time. I'll address you properly, because who wouldn't with such a great name?

But, you are right. I hope Hitsuji is fun: there's a great shop that sells clothes on the third ring of houses. I'm not sure what it's called, I'm afraid: but it's a brown shop with some green trimmings on the edge of a road.

I learned some things about myself that I don't want to talk about: I'm sure you understand. Again, relating to my anger, and who I have to come to terms with who I need to be. You are right, something has upset me greatly. I have been having therapy sessions which are coming out as helpful, though not as quickly as I would like them to be: they are helpful nonetheless.

I have been doing training, but what I am having to try and learn is moderating. I've been in the hospital needing treatment a few times this week, just like the iyro-nin who healed you up. I fear I'm overworking. I'll try something like whittling. I don't think I'll be any good at it, but I didn't know sign language until I did. So there's that, right? I do enjoy gardening, so I may try to use that to put my body to use that isn't towards the rage of fighting.

I appreciate your words being un-pointed, free of distraction and getting to the point. It's nice to know there's someone out there that cares about me. Maybe I'll just try to do that. How about you? Does the search grow stronger? I might offer any advice and help that I can. Free of charge, of course. You needn't worry about it. Have you tried whittling before yourself?

On the other side, I received a letter from someone that I sent a letter a year ago, so I'm going to go see them for what might be the last time. It was good to see, but it couldn't have come at a weirder time. Just trying to understand who I am, you know?

I'm still going to include Ryo for the stamps and paper supplies. Whether or not you use it on such is up to you.

= )

Regards,
Akira

---

[Akatsuki]

[googlefont=Indie Flower]

❁

To: Satori, Akira
168 Kasukabe Lane, Tochigi-Shi, 185-2353
Iwagakure, Tsuchi no Kuni

Akira,
It is a pretty great name. Plus I was given it by my sensei, so it's way better than a clan thing. Oh! Do you have any fancy titles, too? I'm really bad at coming up with them but I could give you one if you don't already have something special! It could be like a secret code only you and I know.

Hitsuki hitsuju Hitsuju Hitsuji.

HITSUJI

You have very good memory to remember that shp shop. I don't have all that much room for too many extra things, so I didn't get anything there but it was really nice to look! There were some pretty dresses there that I liked. I haven't worn a dress since I was a little girl, and I don't need one right now or in the immediate future. But if I do ever need a nice dress and I'm in Hitsuji again I know where to look now, thank you! There were also some nice pants and shorts there--very nice. One of them had a lot of pockets! I bet that'd be great for someone who needs a lot of little things.

I understand. It's good at least that you're looking for help and that it's been working even if only a little bit. You have to be patient with yourself. Keep at it, even if it's hard work, you're worth the peace of mind and every step forward counts.

Rest is also important. I know that fighting can be a good distraction but please take care of yourself. I don't know what's going on, or what happened, and I won't ask you for details. But I can't bear to think it's worth your well-being. You may be able to get help from medical ninja easier than I could, but that's not a reason excuse to hurt yourself so much. Three times a week is really scary. I'll go to your village and steal you if you keep it up. Don't make me have to do that.

Gardening would probably be a really good idea. It's something you know, and it's gentle and--repeat. Repet Meditative. Sometimes having another life in your hands forces you to stay calm. And even if you did something new like whittling, it's okay to be bad at something at first. Nobody starts off amazing, and, again, you must be patient with yourself. You are growing. You are learning. You may not be a tree yet, but you never will be if you don't give yourself time, and you will never get bigger if you cut yourself down.

I'm sure there's lots of other people who also care about you, Akira. It's not just me.

I thank you for your offer of help, but there isn't anything you can do right now and I don't want to worry you with it. I appreciate your offer of advice, but I already know what I need to do.

And I only suggested the idea of whittling because it's something small that needs focus, patience, and practice. You need to pay attention to details, think ahead, and be careful with your tool. It's something else to focus on. I haven't ever done it, myself, but I do like to do things with my hands. Whenever I'm upset, or nervous, or tense and anxious, I like to make flower crowns. Sometimes I do it when I'm bored, but usually it's something that I can put my attention to and direct my stress somewhere else. A way to get energy out, I suppose. Even if only in little doses.

I'm happy to hear you got another letter from someone else. An old friend, perhaps? It's good that you're going to see them, I wish you well on your journey. Why would it be the last time? Are they sick? Are they okay?

What part of who you are, do you not understand, Akira?

Please don't! Stop it! I'm only going to send them back--I thank you but I really don't need it! >:(

From,
Akatsuki the Bleeding Sun

[Deleted]

---

To Akatsuki (The Bleeding Sun),
Hitsuji
Tsuchi no Kuni

Hey,

I have to admit it's been some time since I've had to respond to a letter at length in the same way you've written. I'm glad you liked the shop. In other circumstances, maybe. But, agreed. Pockets are essential to any dress. (Not that I've worn enough to comment?)

I think I have been taking care of myself. I've been focusing a lot more than usual on things out of my grasp, so - I need to learn more thoughtfulness. You are right. As always. I need to take care of myself, something which I feel I've not been doing. I'll play nice.

You always seem to be very good at analogies. I get the idea. I've continued to do Gardening and as of late it has been soothing, I spent two hours in it yesterday. That aside, it was time spent not training which concerns me. But - as you say. I need to take time to rest. Everything has felt so amped up, possibly out of my own making. I'm not sure I could wear flower crowns but I'm sure they're pretty on you.

In terms of friends I'm sure there are many: my family, a few select friends. I try not to let it bother me because I compare myself to something like your situation where it could be so much worse. But even I know better that the suffering isn't invalidated because of that. I'm just being too emotional. My mistake. How about you? Are you faring well? Emotionally as well?

I'll be sure to send you whatever it is I happen to fashion out. (It'll likely be a spoon.)

Again. More history, more things that I need to right my wrongs where I've been the antagonist in my own story. Nothing that needs to be concerned just yet, but I'm aware of the effect I have on others. I think it's an overall journey towards figuring out who I am. To develop a cohesive identity, like yours: which isn't "I am from the -- clan." or "I am a Jinchuuriki." I just want to be Akira.

You know the help is there. If you ask it.

Regards,
Akira

in the envelope, although not mentioned, money is still enclosed

---

[Akatsuki]

[googlefont=Indie Flower]

❁

To: Satori, Akira
168 Kasukabe Lane, Tochigi-Shi, 185-2353
Iwagakure, Tsuchi no Kuni

Akira,

Thank you. It's okay to focus on things out of your grasp--sometimes that's all I ever do, it feels like--but do not let it consume you. Let your thoughts drive you forward, but do not let them destroy you. I'm happy to hear you'll take better care of yourself and play nice. There's not much I can do when I'm far away, and right now all I can do is offer my words and hope it helps, and pray that you're doing as you say and not lying to me through paper. But don't think for a moment that I won't go to your village if you end-- indanj put yourself in danger or harm's way intentionally.

I would.

I like analogies and stories. I could say what I mean straight-forward, but sometimes it's nice to give other examples as well. Makes it stick. To me, at least. My sensei used to almost always speak in riddles so I guess I took it from him.

You say time spent not training concerns you. Why? Are you in danger? You are already so strong, is there a need to rush to more? Why is it causing you stress?

There is nothing invalid about your struggles. And you can always dream about having more, and there's nothing bad about wanting more. But you must not forget about what you already have. You do have family who I'm sure loves you very much. Friends. And even though it seems like everyone in your village hates you, I'm sure it's not true. There are probably many strangers who admire you in secret. And you have students, too, who probably look up to you and care about you very much. You are loved, Akira. And even if everyone else turns against you, or it seems like nobody does care--if nothing else, I do. I cannot promise or say for everyone else, even though I'm sure they also will not stop caring about you, but I can at least say for myself. So even if it feels like you're completely alone, or your head is full of worry that you're not valuable or worthy, just remember you have at least one person who believes in you. And one might not be a lot. But I hope it is enough.

There's nothing wrong with being emotional so long as you can still think clearly as well. Emotions are not a mistake, please don't apologize to me for having them.

As for me, I am doing okay. Worried more, now, as far as emotions go. But I am doing okay.

You don't need to give me anything, I never know what to do with gifts, but I appreciate the offer :) Though, if giving away what you make is a good motivation to keep at something else, then I'm happy to receive anything you make. Have you planted anything new with your gardening?

It's good to be aware. Sometimes we aren't the people we want to be. I know I was a very different person when I was younger, and it's hard work and dedication to shape yourself into something nicer. We're flawed. We're not perfect. We're going to make mistakes, and sometimes we hurt people. Our actions and our words do have an affect on others, so it's good important to be careful. But it's good you recognize it, and are trying your best to be better. That says a lot about you. Many don't even try to change who they are, because their mistakes aren't a big enough problem to them, and they don't even feel remorse for hurting others.

For what it's worth, I will say this.

I do know you're a jinchuriki. You are able to do amazing things, and are powerful, and important, and even if your village is foolish and doesn't realize it--you are needed. You have a beast in you and that cannot change or go away. And it's sad, but maybe other people will only see you as that.

But you already are Akira.

You are a good person.

When we met, you defended me against tracker ninja--even though they were clearly after me. I wasn't another shinobi from your village. I wasn't an ally. There was no need to defend me against shinobi who were clearly hunting for a criminal, and even though I even said that I was what they said--it still didn't stop you from making them leave. And even though I ended up fighting alone, you still offered me help with your clones, even despite your own struggles that you were going through at the time.

You were not obligated to do that. You didn't need to, because I was a stranger. There was no gain for yourself. But you were kind to me, anyway, and offered your hand for a stranger even so.

You are a person who cares very deeply. You are passionate, and your emotions run deep. You do have a deep rage, and a strong anger--as do I. But it does not define you. You also love so truly and so strongly. More than most.

You are gentle. Anyone who can take care of plants and flowers knows how to be careful with delicate plants. You were so careful when I was injured. You can be very soft. But you can also be strong and powerful. I've seen how your power can destroy buildings. You are not weak.

You are caring. You are learning a new language just for one student to help her through her struggles. You are compassionate to others, and put out your time and energy selflessly for their sakes even if there is no gain from it.

You are brave. You keep fighting through even when it seems like the world is against you. Even though it seems your village hates you, you don't lash out every time they treat you poorly. You don't throw a fit. Even when the ones you love have rejected you, you carry on and that is very brave. Even when it seems like nobody is there for you, you keep fighting.

You're someone who would like to travel and see more of the world, and appreciates things other people might not pay any mind to. You love architecture, and teriyaki. Lavender and tulips are your favorite flowers, and you like the forest and Autumn. You like solitude because you like to think, and you're clever and smart. You're a man of many talents.

And the only reason you don't like yourself, and the only reason you want to change for the better is because you feel remorse for the things you've done wrong. Because for as much of an "antagonist" as you think you are, you do care so much more for the people and world around you than you probably realize. You might have your moments and I can't deny that truth, but you are not evil by any means.

You are a good person.

And it's okay to want to change for the better, to fix your mistakes and to try to do better. If you don't like who you are, or see yourself as an antagonist then you can always change. You're in control of who you are, and who you can become. That is your power alone. It might be a struggle and a fight, but I believe in you. I know one day you'll find yourself, and I hope one day you'll be able to love yourself. I'm not saying you don't have problems. I'm not saying you're perfect. But I am saying that your flaws don't define you.

You are already Akira.

And you are so much more than you realize. You can pay attention to your faults and try to fix them, but do not be so consumed with them that you forget who you already are. There are so many wonderful things about you. Don't forget that.

Sincerely,
Akatsuki the Bleeding Sun

Although not mentioned, the offerings are politely returned...

[Deleted]

Reading through the letter, Akira couldn't help but feel wanted by the measure of her words. It had been the first in a long time, after Yoko, after Arashi and before his family. Few people shared words of aid, but it was something that for the first time felt parts of himself reversing into the person he wished himself that he wanted to be.

The way she spoke about him, rephrasing things that he'd not so much enjoyed about himself. Liked, or even considered. So, to have it written in the way she did was just... enthralling. He'd even needed a moment to re-read the letter, and before he knew it it'd been five times. But for the rest of the day, he did have a boundless smile to his face.

---

To Akatsuki (The Bleeding Sun),
Hitsuji
Tsuchi no Kuni

Akatsuki,

Your words were really touching. Truly. For someone who doesn't write, you do certainly have a way with words. But let me to be the first in saying that I really needed someone to say that, and that I really needed to hear it. Thank you, because the words warmed my heart.

Even now, I find myself lacking in words with how to respond. Normally, I'd just continue a conversation but it seems hardly equivalent with the pages that you've sent me, that I've had to go through. I can't imagine the time it must have taken to write it, if you don't do it often, and that you're taking away from the vital mission you've been set on for these past 6 years.

So, thank you. Again.

I tried a whittling class for the first time last night and for someone who prides himself on using weaponry, it turns out I'm not so great at this carving stuff- but it was only my first lesson and I think I was slightly better than most new beginners. We have this arts center in the mountains that civilians use all the time (apparently) and have hobbies and all that kind of stuff. They even do pottery (which actually seems kind of theraputic.)

My desire to be strong is concerning because I do not know to what end other than be strong. there's a part of it, that I need - and want to be recognized so that I can earn peace. But it's also pointed out to me that it's not the healthiest to go around being unsatisfied all the time and only getting worse because of it.

I think there are people who do not mind me, I know there are people which do admire me: but when you ride through swathes of people who do not- it makes it hard to maintain a good level headed mind full of composure and love for the village I live in.

I haven't planted anything yet but with the turn of the season, and I may plant some asters for a great pop of color (majority of my garden is green as is). I said that my favorite flowers were of the purple kind: this is no different! But they're more work. These aren't, as much.

Let me know how your journeys go.

Akira

---

[Akatsuki]

[googlefont=Indie Flower]

❁

To: Satori, Akira
168 Kasukabe Lane, Tochigi-Shi, 185-2353
Iwagakure, Tsuchi no Kuni

Akira,
Thank you, I'm glad to hear that my words were of help to you. As I'm sure you know, Japanese isn't my first language and so I always worry that I don't always have the right words or always know exactly how to say what I'm thinking. Sometimes I fear my words are too simple, or that they're not enough, and I'm very self-conscious of how I talk. I know I don't speak with as pretty words as I would if this were my native language, and sometimes there's ideas that are so complex or specific that I don't know exactly what word it is that it could translate to accurately. But I try my best.

There's a library in this town, and I've been getting help with a dictionary which has been helpful. I put a lot of time in my last letter and wanted to make sure it was as good as I could make it, because it was important to me that I got my heart across. It's always a learning opportunity for me. But I believe even though I was writing and trying to find the words for the whole day, it was time well-spent. I'm very aware of my situation with my brother, the reality doesn't ever leave me and I think about it always. I know I don't always show it, but it's always on my mind. Finding him is very important to me, and I always keep my eyes open for him no matter where I'm at, but I want you to know that you are also very important to me, Akira. So, to me, it is worth putting off my quest for a short while if it is for your sake.

Carving and fighting are two different things, so I'm not surprised! Pottery also sounds like it could be fun to do. I've never tried it (because I don't know what I would do with a pot or vase), but I bet if you tried it you could probably make something really nice! I'm not very good at artistic things, myself, but maybe one day it would be nice to visit the art center. It's in the mountains? As in, not in Iwagakure where a criminal would be arrested for approaching, yes?

Akira, as sad as it is to say, I do not know if you will ever be recognized even if you are the strongest you can be. Some might recognize your worth then, but others might only see it as more reason to fear you. People fear what they do not understand, and people fear those who are powerful. Do not give up hope. I also hope that one day things will change, and that maybe your village will see you for who you really are and not think so poorly of you. But you must find peace on your own, and not in the acceptance of others. You are right in that being unsatisfied all the time is a dreadful way to live. There are many things that you could be satisfied about, are there not? It would be good to also focus on those, and allow yourself to be content in what you already have accomplished instead of constantly trying to make it void.

But I believe you in your struggles, and I understand. You're much stronger than me, though. I don't know if I would be able to take it if I were in your position. Perhaps I could still find a way to hold a love for such a village that treated me the way yours does you. But I'm unsure if I would want to. To be able to still be kind even when everyone is so against you takes a certain level of selflessness that I don't know if I have. I understand how difficult it must be, and I admire your strength. I only hope that things do not always stay this way, and that your burden is lightened.

Is purple your favorite color?

And I will. When I next do some traveling I will be sure to let you know about anything interesting that happens on the way. For now, there is something I must do. I wanted to be sure to write to you before I left. This may be my last letter. I have so enjoyed writing to you, and I appreciate our conversation very much. I will write again, soon, when this is over, and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Until then,
Akatsuki the Bleeding Sun

[Deleted]

---

To Akatsuki (The Bleeding Sun),
Hitsuji
Tsuchi no Kuni

Akatsuki,

I'm not going to make this a long letter. I'll just say thank you - your words are noted and appreciated. Best of luck on your learning of the language. You're already good at it.

I'm not going to write any more, because I expect you to come back to me in a future letter - and then I will answer those questions.

Be brave, be careful, good luck.

Akira

---